Chapter Seventeen

Sleep barely came to her that night. The girls as well as the rest of the family had rallied around her the night before, offering up condolences, encouragement and promises to kick Dusty’s butt. She thanked them all, waved off the threats and prodded them to lean toward understanding when it came to their brother. He’d been through enough, after all. Besides, she had the feeling a SEAL—either current or retired—tended to make his own path in the world, against the grain if he had to. Whatever Dusty felt was best was the direction he’d travel. No matter what anyone said.

Tess had sat with her at bedtime, chatting amicably and trying to boost her spirits. April appreciated the effort and had told her friend so. She’d laid down with one ear tuned to the front door, hoping to hear when Dusty returned home. She never heard it.

By five the next morning, April had given up, gotten dressed and walked to the paddocks, intent upon feeding the horses before she left for home. After a week of filling buckets with grain twice a day, she could do the task in her sleep.

Starting with the stud, she gathered up his bucket, filled it with his feed and lugged the heavy container to his pasture. Not bothering to open the gate, she simply sat the bucket against a corner post just inside, waited for him to start eating, then headed back to the barn.

Archer met her there with a stern look. “What are you doing?”

She strode right past him, aiming for the next section of buckets. “Feeding the horses.”

He followed right on her heels. “Dusty’s job.”

Grabbing another sack of feed, she poured out generous amounts into several buckets. “I was up anyway. Might as well feed the herd before I head on home.”

Archer grumbled under his breath. “If it helps any, Dusty is an asshole.”

She couldn’t help but grin at the identical phrase she’d overheard used a couple of times before retiring for the night. Picking up two handles, she started the long trek back to the pasture. “He’s not ready for romance, Archer. Maybe he’ll never be. Maybe I’m not the right gal. Either way, I can sit around and pine away for him or move on.”

“You’ll pine anyway.”

She shrugged. He wasn’t telling her anything she didn’t already know. Brave words fell flat when she admitted the truth to herself. “I just need to get home, check things out and find a way to get my horses back home.”

Archer picked up a couple of buckets and followed along. “He’ll come around.”

She managed to shrug despite the heavy load. “I’m not holding my breath.” After setting her load down, she spun around to gather more buckets before entering the pasture with the mares and their foals. Once she put the buckets down, there would be a squabble over the food unless there were adequate buckets for each animal spread all around.

Archer’s long strides carried him to her side. “I’ll speak to him. Set him straight.”

April stopped in her tracks. “No.”

“Why not?” He stared down at her with furrowed brows.

“Because I’ll not be the cause of another split in your family. Dusty is a grown man, he’s seen more than most people will ever see, the horrors of war and the worst humanity has to offer. Whether anyone knows it or not, he struggles with nightmares and flashbacks now and again, courtesy of serving his country.” She puffed out a breath. “If anyone deserves happiness, it’s him. No matter who he chooses, it’s his life, his heart, his future. Don’t stand in his way.” Finished with the lecture, she grabbed up more buckets and retraced her steps.

“You’d make a great attorney.” He grinned over at her as he collected more breakfast for the horses.

She snorted. “That’s a scary thought. The first time I declared ‘off with their head’ I’d probably be dismantled.”

“You mean disbarred.”

“That too.” She lifted another bucket. “I think I’d better stick to nursing.”

“And stable hand.” He opened the gate, set his buckets along the far fence then hurried back for the rest as she carefully placed hers on the ground.

“I used to think so.” With those words, she left him to watch over the foals to make sure their mommas didn’t get greedy and returned to the stable. Her horses and the nine geldings were left. The sooner they were fed, the sooner she could leave the ranch in her rearview mirror.

* * * *

Dusty stepped out on the front porch, dressed and prepared for the morning chores. Ben darted off the porch, sniffed around the front yard, and found a place to do his business.

The sun scraped past the horizon, casting light and colors across the land in a rainbow of pinks, oranges and blues. Beautiful and breathtaking.

Yet he couldn’t raise the effort to enjoy the gift of morning, too consumed by his thoughts about the prior evening.

He’d allowed the past to color his present, sending him running scared. Not one of his prouder moments. Sure, she’d shocked the hell out of him, but that was no excuse. He cringed as he recalled what an ass he’d been. To April of all people. She’d done nothing but voice her feelings. For that, he’d outright rejected her, driven off leaving her at the mercy of others and probably left her sour, hurt and with an irreparable breach of trust.

I’m such a fucking idiot.

Archer walked across the yard, coming to a stop at the bottom of the front porch steps. “I see you’re up and at ’em this morning.” He stared at Dusty’s face. “Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed after dragging home in the wee hours of the morning?”

Dusty saw the jab for what it was, an expression of displeasure in Dusty’s choices. He bit back the urge to blast Archer for his uppity attitude and reminded himself he’d been in a similar situation in the past. His volatile temper had caused a lot of hurt feelings that day. He wouldn’t make the same error twice. Besides, it wasn’t like he’d had a hot rendezvous to attend. Instead, he’d spent most of the time at a nearby lake, trying to make sense of a muddled situation. “Actually, yeah. I needed some time to think.”

“And?”

“I was an ass. Seem to have a habit of that lately.” Dusty rubbed at his forehead. “I’m going to try to fix that today.”

“I always knew you had brains.”

Dusty grinned at the backhanded compliment. “Is April up yet?”

Archer nodded. “Up, fed all the horses and gone.”

“Gone?” Dusty tilted his head. Where would she go before dawn?

“Home. They lifted the evacuation order. She took care of the horses then took off like a hound sprayed by a skunk. Said she needed to get back, check out everything, make sure things are sound, then figure out a way to get her horses back.”

Dusty frowned as guilt settled heavily on his shoulders. She was running. Because of him. Headed to Colorado on her own because he couldn’t see the gift right before his eyes.

He felt lower than a worm.

Instinct and desperation made him dig his keys from his pocket and march toward his waiting truck.

“Where are you going?” Archer called after him.

“Home. To see if I can patch things up April.” He opened his truck door and looked back at Archer. “I’ll be back for the horses later today. With any luck, she’ll be by my side.”

“For just today?”

Dusty considered the question. He didn’t have to think long. “For as long as she’ll have me.”

Archer smiled widely enough to show even white teeth. “Good luck, bro. You’ve got a touch with horses, let’s hope you have the same skills with that particular woman.” With a wave, he entered the house.

Dusty whistled for Ben, lifted him into the truck, then settled in himself. He shoved the key in the ignition and started the engine. His seat belt in place, he put the truck in gear and headed down the long driveway.

One way or another, he’d explain everything to April. Show her how he felt.

‘Help her learn to trust again.’

The words she’d spoken the day Miracle and Mischief arrived at his stable replayed through his mind. She hadn’t just been talking about her filly.

Motivated and determined, he hit the highway and headed home.

* * * *

After stopping by her house, finding the area untouched by flames and everything accounted for, April couldn’t repress the urge to jump in the SUV once more and drive down the road. Besides, she still carried his office equipment and files in her vehicle. Not wanting to wake the whole crew to unload the boxes, she’d simply decided to bring them back with her, borrow Dusty’s hidden spare key and replace his belongings as if they’d never left.

As much as she tried to deny the fact, she needed to see the stables, assure herself they stood as they had before, untouched by the flames of nature’s wrath. Her horses’ future depended upon this stable, for she didn’t think she could find a better person to work with Miracle’s issues than Dusty.

Dusty.

A deep pain throbbed in her heart. That’s what happens when you’re reading into things that aren’t there. Sexy men with nice incomes didn’t single out ordinary women for a lifetime together. Even if she rushed out to purchase glass slippers, her lot in life wouldn’t change one iota. Fairy tales simply didn’t happen to girls like her.

Cutting the engine once she pulled up the driveway, she grabbed the spare key and headed to unlock the chain on the large doors. It’s not breaking and entering if you use a key. Besides, I’m returning items, not stealing them. After tugging with all her might, she finally got one stubborn door to budge open far enough to allow her ample room. Noting everything seemed in order and no black charred earth stood as far as she could see, April returned to her vehicle and began unloading the office’s contents.

Twenty minutes later, she bent over, plugged in the laptop and sighed. The clear container sat on Dusty’s large wooden desk, awaiting his return. She would start transferring files to the cabinet, but didn’t know his system. Better to wait and let him sort things than spend twice as much time fixing them later.

Glancing across the office, she decided she’d done all she could. She stepped from the room and locked the door behind her. Ambling down the lane, she noted the undamaged walls and felt another sprinkle of relief. They’d gotten lucky. She sent up a quick prayer in thanks. If the fire had engulfed the stable, she couldn’t imagine what Dusty would have done. This place provided him with much more than a simple business opportunity. The animals offered therapy and solace, companionship and unconditional love. He obviously felt deeply about his family, but this was his home now.

One she’d hoped to get to know much better with time. Now, she wasn’t so sure.

The depressing thought pressed her shoulders down farther.

The clang of a gate startled her. Looking up, she found Dusty standing just inside the stable’s front entrance. Dressed in his jeans and a snug blue T-shirt, he made her heart speed and mouth water. She’d never seen a more handsome man and probably never would again.

Ben bounded over as if thrilled to see her again. She just wished his owner would feel the same. Greeting the dog sincerely, she stroked his head as she watched Dusty walk toward her, his face blank, leaving her no clue as to his mood.

She steeled her resolve and decided on a quick explanation before making a hasty exit. The longer she stayed in his proximity, the larger the hole in her heart. With no hope for any future, she preferred to limit the pain and mourn in private. “I put everything back in your office that I could. If you’ll let me know when you plan on bringing back the horses, I’ll help with Miracle.”

For a long moment, he remained mute.

Dejected, she brushed past him only for him to gently grab onto her upper arm, stopping her retreat and spinning her to face him.

“I handled last night completely wrong. I’m sorry.”

She blinked, surprised by his apology. However, in the long run, his words didn’t change a thing. She remained way out of his league and he had a difficult past too powerful to overcome when it came to women. “You’re forgiven.” Her feet refused to budge even though he released her.

“I’d like to talk. Would you ride back with me to the ranch? I intend to load up the horses and bring them home.”

Irritation rushed over her. “I’m not sure what there’s left to talk about. I’ve got eyes and a brain after all.”

He blew out a breath. “Please. It’s important.”

She studied his face, finding concern and hope. Her marshmallow heart gave in. The rational voice in her mind reminded her that he needed help with her horses regardless of anything else. With no excuse to bow out, and curious about his intentions, she slowly bobbed her head. “Okay.”

Lines disappeared and his lips curled up ever so slightly at the corners as tension eased in his face. His stance relaxed as if in relief. “Let’s put your SUV in the shop for safekeeping, then hit the road.”

“Works for me. Can we swing by Tess’ place? I promised her I would check out her house.”

“Sure.”

Ten minutes later they drove down a gravel road with charred areas spanning both sides. Though only about five miles from the stable, Tess’ house hadn’t survived the inferno.

April looked over the ash-covered area and ruins of the house and her heart sank for her friend. “Oh my God. She’s going to be devastated.” She couldn’t imagine what Tess would go through once she found out she was now homeless. With nothing more than what she’d packed up and hauled with her, the woman had a tough road ahead, one no one would envy.

Dusty pulled into the driveway, shut down the engine and simply stared. Concern and sadness covered his face. She knew he thought of his stable and realized this could have easily been his fate.

Ben pushed up onto the console and whined as if feeling the pain from both of them. Dusty patted his head.

Unsure what to do, she scanned the area, wondering if there happened to be anything salvageable in the blackened mess. “Should we walk through things, see if anything is left?” Even as she offered up the suggestion, she knew the idea wouldn’t hold merit. Not with such total destruction.

“No use. Nothing would have survived.”

“Maybe I should take a picture to show Tess. So she can see how bad things are before driving all this way.”

“Good idea.”

April hopped out and took several pictures with her cell phone, showing the property from all angles. After carefully saving them, she returned to the vehicle, sadder than ever.

“How are we going to tell Tess? She’ll be crushed.”

Dusty palmed his phone, scrolled and punched a button. “Brand? Yeah. Is Tess still there?”

He waited a moment. “You need to be there when we get back. She lost it all.”

Silence reigned.

“April has pictures to show her. Just be with her when we return.”

“Will do.”

Disconnecting the call, Dusty placed his phone on the console. “Brand’s going to stay close to her, be there with her when we tell her.”

“Good. She’s going to need support. Big time.”

“That’s one thing I can guarantee. She’ll have support. From the entire family.” Dusty sighed and stared at the devastation once more. “You don’t know how lucky you are some days.” He cranked the truck back on, backed out and headed toward the highway.

A short time later, he turned on the interstate and headed north. Ben settled back onto the second row seat, curled up and closed his eyes. April stared out of the passenger side window, her heart in her throat. Her thoughts wandered between the images of Tess’ destroyed home and the man sitting beside her. Dusty had said he wanted to talk, but not about what. Tension filled the air as her mind ran wild with possible topics, none of them listing in her favor. With her patience growing thin and her stomach beginning to churn, she struck up the conversation. “You said you wanted to talk?”

He glanced over at her before turning his attention back to the road. “Yeah. I wanted to explain why I did what I did. It revolves around a couple of poor choices that I made in my life regarding women. The first was my fiancée. I thought she was the one for me. Beautiful. Sweet. I really thought we had something going. Until she sent me a letter during my deployment, breaking up. I didn’t receive it for weeks after she sent it. She’d already moved on to another man by the time I read it at base in Afghanistan.”

April already knew most of the stories of both women thanks to Carrie. Still, she wasn’t about to break Carrie’s trust, so she kept her mouth shut and let Dusty tell his versions.

“I’m sorry. That had to have been devastating.”

Dusty stared at the road ahead of them. “Yeah. Made for a bad day. When I got back, I had problems adjusting. I wasn’t the same man that had left. War left wounds. In my fumbling attempts to get back to what I thought was normal, I fell for another woman, Rose. She was a professional flirt who knew who to wrap a man around her finger and get exactly what she wanted.”

“Money? Status?”

“Yeah.” He glanced in her direction before focusing on driving again.

“Anyone could have fallen for that. Especially since you were already unsettled from just getting back and finding your world had changed. There’s no shame in the need to find love and acceptance and making an error in judgment along the way.”

“She cost me my family until recently.” He paused then shook his head. “I cost me my family. Archer figured out her game and hired a private detective to get evidence. When he showed it to me, I lost control of my temper. Even swung at him.” He sighed. “I was a fucking fool.”

April reached over to rest her hand on his upper arm. “You’re human, Dusty. A man who’d been through a rough time and had lost his place in the world. Your family doesn’t hold that against you. Heck, I’d say they understand more than others why you did what you did. That didn’t stop them from keeping track of you and coming to the rescue. Maybe both sides had too much pride to make the first move, but the important part is that you did. Now things are so much better. You have them back again.”

He placed his hand over hers. “Yes. Then I screwed up again. At the dance. You told me your feelings and I walked out.”

The sting in her heart renewed at the reminder. “Yes.”

“I couldn’t help but remember another barn dance at the same place a few years ago. I’d taken Rose. She spent the evening flirting with other men to make me jealous. It was all part of her game to get what she wanted. When I saw you talking to that group, laughing, having fun, then looking over at me, it was like a déjà vu moment.”

April gasped at the admission. “I wasn’t flirting and I only had eyes for you. That’s what I was trying to tell you. As far as I was concerned you were the man for me…” Her words trailed off as she realized she was wasting her breath trying to make Dusty understand. He obviously saw her as comparable to a less than flattering woman in his past. She stared out the side window as new pain rolled through her.

“April?”

April pulled on her waning inner strength and turned to face him.

“I know. You see, I got a bit mixed up and a little panicked when you started talking commitment. The past came back and bit me in the ass. Caught off guard, I didn’t handle the situation well and I hurt you. I’m really sorry.”

She nodded. “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Dusty, you don’t have to sugarcoat things for me. I’m not what you want. It is what it is. There are other women that would be more suited. Wealthy, beautiful, charismatic.”

She sighed as her shoulders weighed down with downtrodden misery. Pride forced her chin up and built a quick wall around her heart. She’d put a smile on her face and pretend happiness. Later, when she crawled into bed, would be the time for tears and heartbreak.

“Is that what you think I’m looking for in a woman?”

She blinked over at him and shrugged. “Isn’t that what all men want? A trophy wife to make other men drool with envy? A woman who keeps herself up, with a body that won’t quit?”

He shook his head. “Maybe some men do, but I certainly don’t.”

His words slowly sank in. Hope reignited from a single remaining ember. Before she latched on tight, she needed to be certain. “Meaning?”

“Meaning I need a real woman. One with inner substance and fortitude. Sweet, kind, gentle. Hardworking. Someone who isn’t afraid to get dirty.” His gaze met hers briefly.

“Oh.” He hadn’t said beautiful, but April knew it had to be an accidental omission from the list.

He shot her a curious expression. “Why aren’t you angry with me?”

At least this question she could answer truthfully. Sort of. Deep down she carried anger, but her mind constantly pointed out reality. “I didn’t have a right to be angry. You took in my horses, and have spent extra time with Miracle. You’ve tolerated me being underfoot for days on end. Even brought me along to your family home when the mandatory evacuation order came down. After all that, I couldn’t be mad that you don’t want to date me. People love who they love. Sometimes that feeling doesn’t go both ways.” She watched his face carefully. “Whether you believe me or not, I really do want you to find happiness. You’ve done so much, sacrificed yourself time and again. Now it’s your turn. No matter who it’s with.”

His eyes grew darker as his expression softened. “Will you give me another chance?” Dusty’s voice lowered in decibels, yet became fuller at the same time, as if emotion dripped off each word.

Her heart stuttered. “I don’t understand. Chance at what?”

“A chance to live up to your high regard and praise. A chance to see if we can click again. A chance to see if something might come of this. A chance to see if you can learn to trust me.” His voice strummed her heartstrings.

I already do. She recalled the words she’d spoken to him when Miracle had arrived at the stable. She hadn’t been just talking about the nervous filly. She’d been hurt by men before, but her gut demanded she take this chance—a second chance that could pay off in dividends. Still shy after her previous train wreck relationships, she warned herself to tread carefully.

“I don’t want you to just say that out of pity or guilt.” She held on to hope and waited.

“First of all, I would never do that.” He glanced over at her. “I’m sincere in this. Thinking clearly now. Yes, I was stupid. Blind. I can’t take that back. But I can say truthfully that I see what’s right in front of my eyes now. I like you, appreciate you, and want to see if we mesh together.”

“No strings attached?” She worried her lip. What-if questions ran through her mind.

“No strings attached. Just two friends getting to know one another better. Go out with me a couple of times. No pressure, just one day at a time.”

“Just one day at a time?” she echoed.

He nodded.

Her soul lightened as her spirit soared. That was exactly what she’d been asking for the night before. Refreshed and relieved, she smiled. “Yes.”

He grinned back. “Thanks.”

She forced another moment of reality into their conversation. “I have to warn you, I’ve not had very good luck with men in the past. I’ve kissed toads and they remained toads.”

“That’s what happens when you start with a toad.” His lips twitched. “Starting a bit farther up the evolutionary scale helps.”

“Really? How far up do I need to go?”

“At least to Neanderthal. Maybe a bit higher.”

She couldn’t quite keep the amusement from her face. “Hmm. Where exactly on the scale do you fall?”

He chuckled, the deep sound soothing to her senses, contagious and warm. “I’m a bit behind, but working hard to catch up fast.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll slow down and wait.” She met his gaze and sighed happily.

Reaching out, he found her hand with his, intertwined their fingers and gently squeezed.

April smiled a bit as she settled in for the ride back, never once tempted to move her hand. He’d handed her an olive branch and a genuine reason to believe. Only time would tell, but they had a darn good start.