Chapter 76
Ellie's POV
I pulled out my phone, scrolling through Instagram. "Actually—this might sound random, but I saw something online this morning. Seal Beach? Apparently it's breeding season, and there are, like, a ton of seal pups right now."
His lips twitched into a smile. "You want to go see baby seals."
"Don't judge me." But I was grinning too. "When's the next time I'll be here during breeding season?"
"Fair point. Then let's go now."
The drive took twenty minutes, winding along coastal roads where the Pacific sparkled like hammered silver. Jackson drove with one hand on the wheel, the other resting casually on the center console. Every so often, I caught him glancing at me—not suspicious or worried, just... checking. Like he was gauging my mood, making sure I was really okay.
"What?" I finally asked when I caught him looking for the third time.
"Nothing." But his smile was soft. "You just seem different. Relaxed."
"Is that a bad thing?"
"Definitely not." He turned his attention back to the road. "It's nice. Seeing you like this."
My cheeks warmed, and I looked out the window to hide it. The truth was, I did feel different. Lighter. Like the weight I'd been carrying since high school—since Lucas, since the constant vigilance, since everything—had finally started to lift.
When we pulled into the Seal Beach parking lot, I could already hear them. Barking, splashing, the chaotic symphony of dozens of seals all crowded onto the rocks. I was out of the car before Jackson even turned off the engine.
"Ellie, wait—" But he was laughing as he followed me.
The observation deck overlooked a stretch of beach where seals lounged on rocks, sleek and ungainly all at once. But the real draw was the pups—awkward, round little things that tumbled over each other like puppies. One particularly clumsy baby kept trying to climb onto a rock, slipping off repeatedly while its mother watched with what I could only describe as weary patience.
"Oh my god," I breathed, leaning on the railing. "Look at that one. He's so determined."
Jackson came to stand beside me, close enough that I could feel the warmth radiating off him. "He'll get it eventually."
"Or his mom will give up and push him." I pulled out my phone, snapping photos as the pup finally made it onto the rock, only to immediately slide off the other side. "Okay, that's just tragic."
Jackson laughed—a real, genuine laugh that made something flip in my chest. When I glanced at him, he was watching me instead of the seals, an expression on his face I couldn't quite read.
"What?" I asked again.
"You're laughing." He said it like it meant something.
"Seals are funny."
"I know. It's just..." He paused. "It's good to see. That's all."
The wind picked up, salty and clean, tangling my hair into a mess. I didn't even care. For the first time in months—maybe years—I felt like I could just be. No performance. No pretending. Just me, laughing at ridiculous seal pups while the ocean crashed against the rocks below.
I don't know how long we stood there. Long enough for the sun to shift, for my phone to fill with photos and videos. Long enough for Thalia to settle into something close to contentment, her usual restlessness muted by the rhythm of the waves.
Safe, she whispered. This place is safe.
Jackson's phone buzzed at one point—I saw him glance at it, check the time—but he didn't say anything. Just slipped it back into his pocket and returned his attention to me, patient and unhurried.
It was only when I pulled out my phone to take another photo that I saw the time.
Monday, 2:47 PM
My entire body went rigid.
"Oh my god."
Jackson straightened immediately. "What's wrong?"
"It's Monday." The words came out strangled. "Jackson, it's—I have class. I had class this morning. Two sections of Data Structures and Algorithms." My hands were shaking as I pulled up my contacts, searching for Dr. Paulsen's email. "Nine to eleven, then eleven to one. I completely—how could I just forget—"
"Ellie—"
"I've never missed class without notice. Never. Professor Paulsen is going to think I'm irresponsible, or that I don't care about the material, and this is a core requirement, I can't just—"
"Ellie." Jackson's hand covered mine, stilling my frantic scrolling. "I already took care of it."
I stared at him. "What?"
"I emailed Dr. Paulsen on Saturday. Explained that you'd be participating in a community service project with the dance society—the Martinez Foundation groundbreaking—and requested one days' absence. He approved it."
The relief that flooded through me was so intense it almost hurt. But right behind it came something else. Something complicated.
"You... requested absence for me." My voice came out flat.
Jackson's hand dropped from mine. "I should have asked you first."
"Yeah." I turned to face him fully, the ocean breeze suddenly feeling too cold. "You should have."
His jaw tightened, but he didn't look away. "You're right. I'm sorry."
"When did you decide to do that? To email my professor without telling me?"
"Friday night." He ran a hand through his hair, looking frustrated—but with himself, not me. "When I confirmed the schedule with Isabelle. I realized you'd have class Monday, and I didn't want you worrying about it during the trip. But that's not an excuse. I should have asked."
The thing was, his reasoning made sense. It was even thoughtful. But something about it made my chest tight, made Thalia shift uneasily beneath my skin.
"Jackson." I forced myself to hold his gaze. "I just got out of a friendship where someone made all my decisions for me. Where every choice—what I ate, what I listened to, who I spent time with—was dictated by what someone else thought was best. I can't... I can't do that again."
His expression shifted—surprise, then understanding, then something that looked almost stricken. "I didn't think about it like that. I wasn't trying to control you, Ellie. I just wanted—"
"I know what you wanted." My voice softened despite myself. "And I appreciate it. Really. But you have to understand why it scares me. Being taken care of can start to feel like being controlled. And I need to know that you see the difference."
The silence stretched between us, broken only by seal barks and wave crashes. Jackson's hands flexed at his sides, and for a moment I thought he might argue. Defend himself. Tell me I was overreacting.
Instead, he said, "You're absolutely right."
I blinked. "I am?"