Chapter 181
Lily's POV
The tears I'd been holding back broke free. I doubled over, phone clattering to the floor, and sobbed. Great, ugly, gasping cries that shook my whole body. Ellie's arms came around me immediately, solid and warm, and she made soft shushing sounds that probably would've been annoying if I weren't so desperately grateful not to be alone.
"I'm so angry at him," I choked out between sobs. "He lied to me, Ellie. For eight months. And now he's asking me to just... just wait while he deals with his billionaire family drama, and I don't even get to be part of it, I'm just supposed to hide and pretend I don't exist and—"
"I know."
"And the worst part is I said yes." I pulled back, wiping my face with the back of my hand. "I'm going to wait. Like an idiot. For a whole year. What's wrong with me?"
"Nothing's wrong with you." Ellie squeezed my shoulder. "You love him. Sometimes that means doing things that feel impossible."
I laughed, but it came out bitter. "And what do I do for the next three hundred and sixty-five days? Just... go to class? Study? Act normal?"
"Yeah." Ellie's voice was gentle. "That's exactly what you do. You go to class. You work on projects. You hang out with friends. You live your life. Because that's what he needs you to do to stay safe. And because you deserve to have a life even while you're waiting."
She was right. I hated that she was right, but she was.
I bent to pick up my phone from where it had fallen. The screen showed 8:23 AM. Seven minutes. That entire conversation—my entire world reorganizing itself—had taken just seven minutes.
A text notification popped up on Ellie's phone. She glanced at it, and something in her expression shifted—became more alert, more tense.
"What?" I asked.
"Nothing urgent." But she was lying, I could tell. "Just... someone checking in about the situation."
"Miles?" I'd never actually met Ellie's boyfriend's mysterious uncle, but he seemed to have resources beyond what any normal person should possess.
"Yeah." Ellie stood, stretching in a way that looked almost painful. "He's... keeping an eye on things. Making sure Ryan's actually safe, not in immediate danger."
"And is he? Safe?"
"According to Miles's sources, yes. He's being kept at the family estate under heavy security, but there's no indication of physical harm. It's more..." She struggled for words. "Political imprisonment than actual danger. For now."
For now. Those two words carried a weight that made my stomach churn.
Outside the window, the sun was fully up now, weak winter light filtering through the curtains. The campus was in full motion—students hurrying to early classes, the dining hall opening for breakfast, life continuing on like the world hadn't just fractured into before and after this phone call.
I looked down at the sticky note still clutched in my other hand, with all those carefully researched phone numbers and department extensions. All that preparation for a confrontation that would never happen.
"I should throw this away," I said, but I couldn't quite make myself do it.
"Keep it." Ellie's voice was quiet. "Just... don't use it. Not unless Miles says it's safe. Which probably won't be for a very long time."
"One year."
"One year," she agreed.
I folded the sticky note carefully, precisely, making each crease sharp and deliberate. Then I tucked it into my desk drawer, under my passport and birth certificate and all the other documents that marked who I was in the world.
Evidence of a relationship I now had to pretend didn't exist.
"Lily?" Ellie's voice was hesitant. "You know you can talk to me, right? About this. About Ryan. I know you can't tell anyone else, but... you can talk to me."
I looked at her—this friend who'd become my roommate by random assignment, who'd turned into one of my closest confidants, who was keeping secrets I could feel but couldn't name. She was shaking again, and there was something wrong with her eyes, the color shifting subtly in the morning light.
But she was here. She'd been here all night. She'd be here for the next year.
"Thank you," I said quietly. "For everything. For staying up with me. For telling me to answer that call. For just..." I gestured helplessly. "For being here."
"Always." Ellie managed a small smile. "That's what friends do."
She moved toward the door, and I noticed she was walking strangely—too carefully, like every step required conscious thought. "I'm going to grab us some breakfast from the dining hall. Real food, not vending machine crap. You're going to eat, and then you're going to shower, and then we're going to have a completely normal day. Okay?"
"Okay," I agreed, because what else could I say?
She paused at the door, hand on the knob. "And Lily? That speech you gave him. About the deadline and moving on and building a life without him? That was..."
"Stupid?" I offered. "Harsh?"
"Necessary." Ellie's smile turned genuine. "He needed to hear that you're not just going to wait forever hoping he'll show up. That you have standards. That you value yourself enough to walk away if he can't follow through. That's not harsh. That's self-respect."
She slipped out before I could respond, leaving me alone with the early morning light and the ghost of Ryan's voice still echoing in my ear.
I love you. Remember that.
I would. For one year, I'd remember. I'd wait, and I'd build my life, and I'd keep his secret, and I'd watch the calendar with a kind of desperate hope I'd never admit to anyone.
And a year later, I'd find out if love could survive when everything else fell apart.
I just had to make it through the next three hundred and sixty-five days first.
I picked up my phone and set a calendar reminder. The alert popped up, stark and final:
One Year Mark
Then, because I was apparently a masochist, I added a note: Time to move on if he doesn't call.
I saved it, locked my phone, and let myself cry one more time before I had to start pretending everything was fine.
Outside my window, life at Cedar View University continued on, completely unaware that someone's world had just been put on pause for a year.