Chapter 104
Ellie's POV
The heater's warmth gradually seeped into my bones, chasing away the lingering chill from the lake. I was wrapped in Jackson's jacket, his sweatshirt, emergency blankets—layers of him surrounding me, cedar and mint filling every breath.
And he was here. Right beside me.
For the first time since waking up in that ice house, I felt truly safe. The mate bond hummed between us, a golden thread I could almost see connecting our hearts. Thalia purred contentedly in my chest, finally at peace.
Jackson's hand found mine, his fingers warm and steady. "Ellie." His voice was soft, careful. "Do you feel it? Different than before?"
I knew what he was asking. The mate recognition—that electric, earth-shattering moment when wolves found their destined partner. The stories always described it as life-changing, overwhelming, impossible to miss.
But as I looked at him—really looked at him, with his worried golden eyes and the protective way he held my hand—I realized something.
"I don't feel different," I said quietly.
Confusion flickered across his face. "You don't?"
I shook my head, a small smile tugging at my lips despite everything. "Maybe... maybe because I already loved you before I recognized you. So it doesn't feel like anything changed. It just feels... right. Like it's always been this way."
The words hung in the air between us, more confession than explanation.
Jackson's breath hitched. Then he was leaning in, his free hand cupping my face with such tenderness it made my heart ache. "Ellie..."
His lips met mine.
I froze.
Oh god, what do I do? Panic flooded through me, and instinctively my jaw clenched tight, my teeth pressed firmly together. Jackson tried to deepen the kiss, his mouth moving gently against mine, but I was locked up tighter than the silver chains had been.
After a few awkward seconds, he pulled back, and I caught the hint of a smile playing at his lips.
"Is this..." He paused, eyes twinkling with affection rather than judgment. "Is this your first kiss?"
Heat exploded across my cheeks. I wanted to deny it, to play it cool, but the truth was written all over my burning face. I nodded, not trusting my voice.
"Hey, it's okay." His thumb brushed across my cheekbone, tender and reassuring. "It's sweet."
Something about his easy confidence made me brave enough to speak. "You, um... you seemed to know what you were doing. Very... experienced."
To my surprise, Jackson laughed—a genuine, slightly embarrassed sound. "Ellie, that was my first kiss too."
"What? But you—"
"Guys just... I don't know, maybe we're born knowing how?" He grinned, a bit sheepish. "Or I've watched too many movies. One of the two."
His admission made something competitive spark in my chest. He was just as new to this as I was. The playing field was level. And I'd never been one to back down from a challenge.
"I was just nervous," I said, lifting my chin slightly. "That's all."
His smile widened, warm and inviting. "Want to try again?"
My heart hammered against my ribs. But this was Jackson. My mate. The person who'd literally transformed into a wolf and broken through ice to save me. If I could face chains and a frozen death trap, I could handle a kiss.
"Yes." My voice came out stronger than I felt. "Let's try again."
This time, when Jackson leaned in, I made myself relax. Let my shoulders drop, my jaw unclench, my racing thoughts quiet. His lips met mine again, soft and questioning, and I focused on the sensation—the warmth, the gentle pressure, the way he tasted faintly of mint.
When his tongue traced my lower lip, I let him in.
Oh.
It was like a switch flipped. Jackson's hand slid into my hair, tilting my head just slightly, and suddenly I understood what all the fuss was about. His mouth moved against mine with a confidence that was somehow gentle and commanding at the same time, guiding me through the rhythm, showing me how to respond.
Then I felt his other hand settle on my waist.
My breath hitched against his mouth. The touch was warm even through the layers of clothing—his jacket, the blankets. For a split second, panic flared. What if his hand moves? What if—
But Jackson didn't move. His palm just rested there, solid and reassuring against my waist, his thumb tracing the smallest, gentlest circles through the fabric. Not demanding. Not wandering. Just... there. Anchoring me. Reminding me I was safe.
The simple tenderness of it made my heart stutter.
Thalia practically sang with joy, the mate bond flaring bright and warm between us, but underneath that supernatural connection was something else—something purely human and terrifying and wonderful all at once.
My heart was racing so fast I thought it might burst. Actually racing, not the poetic kind—I could feel it hammering against my ribs, hear the blood rushing in my ears. My hands, still clutching his shirt, started to tremble.
Because this was what love felt like. What being kissed by the person you loved felt like. And it was so intense, so overwhelming, that it felt almost like fear. The good kind of fear, like standing at the edge of a cliff and wanting to jump, knowing you might fly or fall but unable to stop yourself from leaning forward anyway.
I'd never felt anything like this before. Never knew a kiss could make your entire body feel electric and vulnerable at the same time. Never understood how someone's touch could be so gentle yet make you shake.
Jackson must have felt my trembling because he pulled back slightly, his forehead resting against mine, his breath warm against my lips.
"Hey." His voice was soft, concerned. "You okay?"
I nodded, but the trembling didn't stop. If anything, it got worse now that I wasn't distracted by the kiss. My whole body was vibrating like a plucked string.
"Ellie." He pulled back enough to meet my eyes, his hand on my waist steady, grounding. "Talk to me. Too much?"
"No." The word came out shaky but honest. "It's not too much, it's just..." I struggled to find the words. "I didn't know it would feel like this. So... strong. It's almost scary."
Understanding softened his features. His hand moved from my waist to cup my face, his thumb brushing across my cheekbone in that tender way that made my heart ache.
"I know." His voice was barely above a whisper. "I feel it too. Like everything just got bigger, right? More real."
I nodded, relieved he understood. "My heart won't stop racing."
"Mine either." He took my hand and pressed it against his chest, and sure enough, his heart was pounding just as hard as mine. "See? You're not alone in this."
The simple gesture—letting me feel that he was just as affected, just as nervous—made something inside me settle. We were in this together. Both fumbling through our first kiss, both overwhelmed by feelings too big to name.
"Better?" he asked softly, still holding my hand against his heartbeat.
"Yeah." I managed a small smile. "Better."
He leaned in again, but slower this time, giving me every chance to pull away. "We can stop whenever you want. No pressure. Okay?"
"Okay." But I didn't want to stop. The fear was still there, that sense of standing on the edge of something vast and unknown, but I wanted to jump. With him. "But Jackson?"
"Yeah?"
"Don't stop yet."
His answering smile was so warm, so full of affection, that it chased away the last of my nervousness. When he kissed me again, his hand returning to my waist with that same gentle, respectful touch, I let myself fall.
And it was perfect.