Chapter Sixty-Eight

Ryder ran a palm over his face, his breath coming out a bit slow, as they watched Silver Moon Pack’s activities through the surveillance cameras they had set up on the pack’s territory.

His wolf wasn’t pleased with him.

He wasn’t in support of Ryder’s decision to make Saffron leave.

Hell, Ryder also didn’t want her to leave, not when he had no idea what was going to happen to her. But, he knew that it was the right thing to do.

Except, he hated it.

He hated the fact that he wouldn’t be there with her, and guide her as she went into heat for the first time. So, it wasn’t even a surprise, when he felt the wrongness of his decision now, because they weren’t fully connected.

If only he had bitten her earlier, claimed her properly, and sealed the bond between them, then, he wouldn’t be here worrying about his decision, and he would be able to talk to her and fully feel her whenever he wanted.

He could break out from the group right now, and claim her in another section of the forest they were camping at, where he could ensure their privacy. But, he knew that she deserved better than that, better than being claimed on a dirty forest floor, where anyone could stumble upon them at any moment.

No, she deserved to be properly courted, and to be claimed in the hot spring, where their mating would be blessed by the moon, and the spirit of his ancestors.

His gaze flicked towards where she stood with Shivani, his wolf whining and scratching at his chest to let him out, wanting to go to her and envelope her in their scent.

But, Ryder knew that he couldn’t.

He had to fight the urge to show any form of connection towards her, not if he wanted to risk his pack mates finding out about the mate bond between them.

As it stood, he had no idea whom Myra had shared Saffron’s true identity with, and tension had been rising within the pack due to her disappearance.

It was only a matter of time, before someone linked her disappearance to Saffron, which would also inevitably lead back to him.

He didn’t want that to happen, not when he was so close to achieving his goals.

As the next Alpha Supreme of his pack, it was his responsibility to make the best decision for his clan, but he was struggling, especially when that decision came at the expanse of his mate, his true mate.

“Let’s go,” he spoke to his team mates, as he rechecked his suit, to ensure that all his weapons were intact.

He knew that they were, but he needed that to distract him from looking over at his mate one last time.

If he did, he knew that he wouldn’t be able to leave.

***

Saffron’s heart skipped a beat, as she watched the other wolves fall behind Ryder one after the other, each holding a gun in front of them, as they moved swiftly through the dark night.

Ryder hadn’t even looked back at her before he had went off.

What if something happened to him, or her, and they didn’t get the chance to see each other again?

She hadn’t even gotten the chance to say goodbye to him now.

Had it been intentional? Had he left without a word because it was the only way that he would be able to focus on the task at hand? Or because he knew that they didn’t need to say goodbye, because he knew that they would see each other again, soon?

Her mind raced a mile a minute, her skin suddenly becoming cold, as her palms turned clammy.

It was happening.

It was really happening, and she hadn’t stopped him.

She knew that the moment they had left Blood Moon Pack, it was only a matter of time before they were separated, but somehow, in the back of her mind, there was a part of her that had wished time would stretch out, and they would have a stolen moment or two together, before the inevitable happened.

But, the time that she had feared had come, and now, her mate was lost to her.

A low keening sound began to build up in her throat but Shivani interrupted her, before she got the chance to let it out.

“Hey, he needs your faith now, more than your worry.”

Saffron ignored her, not bothering to dignify her words with a response. Yeah, she knew what her mate needed, but it was hard to have faith in him or his plans, when it felt like her heart was being ripped apart.

She could feel her wolf pacing inside her, anxious, and furious that they weren’t there with him, as he headed into enemy territory.

It felt wrong.

Saffron blinked, trying to reign in her panic but she felt like she couldn’t breathe.

Something felt fundamentally wrong, to all of her senses.

Shivani crouched in front of her, a concerned expression on her face, as she placed a comforting hand on Saffron’s shoulder.

But, even that gesture seemed to be setting her wolf off, as Saffron bared her teeth at Shivani, a menacing growl escaping from her lips, forcing the other woman to pull away.

Shivani’s palm had felt wrong against Saffron’s shoulder, because she wanted that hand to belong to Ryder, and no one else.

She wanted him to be the one trying to comfort, and protect her, not some poor substitute, even though she knew that Ryder wouldn’t have tasked Shivani with protecting her, if the woman wasn’t capable.

But, Shivani wasn’t Ryder.

She wasn’t Saffron’s mate.

Ryder was.

He was hers, and Saffron should be there with him.

She should be helping him, instead of being out here, about to go on a fool’s errand, trying to find her lost family.

‘Get yourself together,' she chided herself inwardly. ‘You can’t lose your shit now.’

But, the pep talk wasn’t helping her now at all, it was only making it worse.

Her wolf was a nervous wreck, tilting Saffron’s world upside down. Her wolf didn’t like being separated from him, and not knowing what was happening with him.

There seemed to be a missing connection between them, a mental link that was supposed to be there, but wasn’t. And it was only now, as her wolf thrashed within her, that the loss became apparent to her.

Though Saffron was yet to shift into her wolf, Ryder had told her to trust her.

And now, all of her instincts were telling her to run towards him.

Dimly, she registered Shivani heading towards her, and it was only as she stepped into her line of sight that she realized she was talking to her, only catching the last of what she was saying.

“…a reason why he is the leader, he’s the best at what he does and has been training for this all his life. You should be more worried about the state of this pack, when he’s done with them.”

“I’m going after him,” Saffron responded, her tone resolute as she turned and began to head towards the way Ryder and the others had gone.

“Wait!” Shivani yelled, running after her. She grabbed Saffron’s arm, and turned her to face her. “You can’t go after him, you’ll be putting your life in danger, and his too. Because he would lose focus and try to protect you. The moment he does, your life and his will be forfeit, because everyone will know that you’re mates, which will___”

But, Saffron was done listening.

She yanked her arm out of Shivani’s hold, and glared at her, hard. “I am going. You either come with me or stay here, I don’t care.”

She turned and resumed her path but before she could get any further, the ground beneath them vibrated, as an explosion sounded in the distance.

“Ryder!” she gasped, running towards the direction the sound had come from.