Chapter 83 Enough
Maddie Pov
"I've tried fighting it," Calix said. "I've tried ignoring it. I've tried pretending it doesn't exist. But it always wins. It always takes what I love. And I won't let it take you."
"You don't get to make that choice for me," I said. "You don't get to decide what risks I'm willing to take. That's my decision. My life. My choice."
"Not if I can prevent it," Calix said. "Not if I can keep you safe by staying away."
"You're not keeping me safe," I said. "You're just making us both miserable. You're letting fear control you. You're choosing to be alone instead of fighting for what we could have."
"Because what we could have ends with you dead," Calix said. His voice broke. "And I can't survive that. I can't watch another person I love die because of me. I won't."
We stood there facing each other. Two people connected by a bond neither of us chose. Two people in love but torn apart by fear and pain and a curse that might not even be real.
"What happened today?" I asked quietly. "On the obstacle course. You knew it was sabotaged. You ran onto the field to save me. You broke your own rules about staying away. Why?"
"Because some things are worth the risk," Calix said. "And in that moment watching you fall. Knowing you might die. The curse didn't matter. The fear didn't matter. All that mattered was getting to you. Saving you. Keeping you alive."
"Then why can't it always be like that?" I asked. "Why can't you just let yourself love me without all the fear and distance and pushing away?"
"Because today was one moment," Calix said. "One crisis. One emergency. But loving you is every day. It's constant. It's permanent. It's giving the curse constant access to you. Constant opportunity to take you from me."
"Or maybe loving me breaks the curse," I suggested. "Maybe the mate bond is stronger than whatever darkness your family carries. Maybe we're the generation that finally ends the cycle."
"And if we're not?" Calix asked. "If I let myself love you completely and the curse takes you anyway. If you die because I was too selfish to stay away. How do I live with that?"
"How are you living with this?" I countered. "With pushing me away. With denying the bond. With making us both suffer. Is this really better than taking a chance on us?"
Calix didn't answer. He just stood there looking at me with pain written all over his face. Pain and longing and desperate need and absolute terror.
"I need to know something," I said. "When you marked me that night. When you bonded us together. Was it really a drunken mistake? Or did some part of you know what you were doing? Did some part of you want to claim me?"
Calix's eyes flashed gold. His wolf was right there on the surface. "Every part of me wanted to claim you. Drunk or sober. Conscious or unconscious. My wolf knew you were ours. The bond knew. I knew. That's why I called it a mistake afterward. Because I knew what claiming you would mean. I knew the danger I was putting you in."
"Then why did you do it?" I asked. "Why mark me if you knew you were just going to push me away?"
"Because in that moment I was selfish," Calix admitted. "In that moment I wanted you more than I feared the curse. In that moment I let myself believe we could work. That the mate bond would be enough. That love would conquer all."
"And now?" I asked.
"Now I know better," Calix said. "Now I've had time to think. To remember. To realize what claiming you really means. It means putting a target on your back. It means inviting the curse to take you. It means loving you will kill you."
Tears were streaming down my face now. I couldn't hold them back anymore. "Then why did you come here tonight? Why meet me if you're so determined to stay away?"
"Because you asked me to," Calix said simply. "Because even though I know I should ignore you. Should avoid you. Should let the bond fade through distance and time. I can't. I can't stay away when you call. I can't ignore the pull. I can't stop loving you no matter how hard I try."
"Then stop trying," I said. "Stop fighting it. Stop pushing me away. Just let yourself love me. Let us figure this out together."
"I can't," Calix said. "I'm sorry Maddie. I'm so sorry. But I can't risk you. I can't be the reason you die. I would rather spend the rest of my life alone than watch you die because of me."
"That's not love," I said. My voice came out harsh. Angry. "That's cowardice. Real love fights. Real love takes risks. Real love doesn't give up just because things are hard."
"Real love also protects," Calix said. "Real love sacrifices. Real love makes the hard choices even when they hurt."
"This isn't protection," I said. "This is abandonment. You're choosing fear over love. You're choosing to believe in a curse instead of believing in us."
"Because the curse is real," Calix said. "And us being together is a fantasy. A beautiful impossible fantasy that ends with you dead and me destroyed."
I stared at him. At the boy I loved. At my mate. At the person who was supposed to fight for me but kept choosing to walk away instead.
"You know what?" I said. My voice was cold now. All the warmth had drained out. "You should have let me fall today. When that rope broke. When I was falling toward the ground. You should have just let me hit. It would have been kinder than this."
"Maddie don't say that," Calix said. He took a step toward me. "Don't ever say that."
"Why not?" I asked. "It's true. Dying from a fall would have been quick. Painless. Over in seconds. But this. This slow torture of loving someone who won't love me back. This constant rejection. This is so much worse."
I turned and started walking away. Every step hurt. Every movement felt like dying. The mate bond screamed at me to turn around. To go back. To give him another chance.
But I forced one foot in front of the other. I forced myself to keep moving. I forced myself to leave him standing there in the darkness behind the pack house.