Chapter 34 Her Scent
Calix Pov
It was midnight when I finally left the pack house. Everyone else was asleep. My father. Simone who had insisted on staying over. The servants. All of them sleeping while I was wide awake and restless.
I couldn't take it anymore. Couldn't spend another minute in that cold silent house. Couldn't breathe with all the expectations pressing down on me.
I grabbed my truck keys and walked out to the garage. Started the engine. Drove down the long driveway without turning on the headlights. Didn't want anyone to see me leave. Didn't want anyone to follow.
The roads were empty at this hour. Dark. Just my headlights cutting through the blackness. I didn't have a destination in mind. Just drove. Let the truck take me wherever it wanted to go.
But my wolf knew where we were going. Had known from the moment I got in the truck. He guided me down roads I didn't recognize. Through towns I'd never been to. Further and further away from the pack house.
I'd gotten Elara's address from her school records. It was wrong and probably illegal but I didn't care. I just needed to know where she was. Needed to know Maddie was somewhere in the world even if I couldn't see her.
The GPS on my phone guided me to the right town. The right street. I drove slowly past houses with Silverfalllights still up. Past yards with snowmen. Past normal families living normal lives.
Then I saw it. The address I was looking for. A small house with a green door and a wreath hanging on it. Lights were off. Everyone inside was sleeping.
She was in there. Maddie was in that house right now. Safe. Warm. With people who cared about her.
I drove past without stopping. Went another half mile down the road. Pulled over to the side. Turned off the engine. Sat in the darkness.
My wolf was going crazy. Pushing. Demanding. "Go back. Go to the house. Go see her. Just look at her through a window. Just make sure she's okay."
"We can't," I said out loud even though I was alone. "We can't go near that house. We can't risk anyone seeing us."
"Then what are we doing here?" my wolf demanded. "Why did we drive all this way if we're not going to do anything?"
"I don't know," I admitted. "I just needed to be close to her. Even if it's just being in the same town. On the same street. Breathing the same air."
I got out of the truck. The cold air hit my face. It was colder here than at school. Snow on the ground. Ice on the trees. My breath came out in white clouds.
I closed my eyes. Tilted my head back. Breathed in deep through my nose. The night air smelled like pine and snow and wood smoke from fireplaces. Normal winter smells. Nothing special.
But then I caught it. Faint. So faint I almost missed it. But it was there. Her scent. Sweet. Powerful. Unmistakable. Maddie's scent carried on the wind from half a mile away.
She was safe. The knowledge hit me with relief so strong it made my knees weak. She was alive. She was here. She was okay.
"We should go to her," my wolf said again. Quieter this time. More desperate than demanding. "Please. Just for a moment. Just to see her face."
"No," I said firmly. "We can't. This is enough. This has to be enough."
"How is this enough?" my wolf asked. "Standing in the cold half a mile away from our mate? How is any of this okay?"
"It's not okay," I said. "But it's what we have. It's all we can have right now."
I stood there for ten minutes. Maybe longer. Just standing in the cold. Just breathing. Just existing in the same space as her even though we were separated by distance and houses and everything else that kept us apart.
The bond pulled at my chest. Constant. Insistent. Painful. It wanted me to go to her. Wanted me to close the distance. Wanted me to claim what was mine.
But I couldn't. Not while my father's threat hung over us. Not while the curse lived inside me. Not while I was still dangerous to her.
A light turned on in one of the houses down the street. Someone was awake. I needed to leave before anyone saw me. Before anyone called the police about a strange man standing on the side of the road in the middle of the night.
I got back in my truck. Started the engine. Took one last breath of the air that carried her scent. Then I drove away.
Back down the dark roads. Back through the sleeping towns. Back toward the pack house and the cold and the silence and everything I hated.
My wolf whimpered in my head. Sad. Defeated. "We're just going to leave her there? Not even say hello? Not even let her know we were nearby?"
"Yes," I said. "That's exactly what we're doing."
"This is torture," my wolf said. "This is worse than not knowing where she was. At least before we could imagine she was somewhere far away. Now we know she's close and we still can't have her."
"I know," I said. "But this is how it has to be."
"For how long?" my wolf asked. "How long do we keep doing this? How long do we keep suffering?"
"I don't know," I admitted. "Maybe forever. Maybe until the curse takes me. Maybe until my father dies and I'm free. Maybe never."
"That's not an answer," my wolf said.
"It's the only answer I have," I said.
The roads stretched out in front of me. Empty. Dark. Endless. Just like my future. Just like everything ahead of me.
But at least I knew she was safe. At least I knew she was with good people. At least I knew she was alive and breathing and existing in the world.
That had to be enough. That had to sustain me. That had to get me through another day and another week and another month of this torture.
Because the alternative was unthinkable.