CHAPTER EIGHT

Life doesn't go on, not for me at least. I sat with Tatiana on my bathroom floor two months later with a pregnancy test that read positive. I don't know how long I've been sitting here but my eyes felt swollen. What was I going to do? How were my parents going to react to this news? How was I going to raise a child by myself?

"Listen, Ari. All you have to do is call Viktor and tell him the news. You don't have to this on your own."

"I…I haven't spoken to him and…he hasn't even bothered to call me since the incident in his office. He doesn't love me anymore. He doesn't care anymore!!!"

"Now is a good a time as any to call him. He has to know what's happening." I nodded and went to my room to get my phone and went back to sit on the bathroom floor. Right now, something was comforting about sitting there and count my losses in tears and sorrow. I looked at Tatiana and she gave me a slight nod. I pulled up his number and placed the call, it went straight to voicemail, on the second try it said the number didn't exist and that was when I broke down completely.

"Calm down, calm down. Let's go to his place and see him, okay?"

I and Tatiana quickly got dressed and took Dimitri's car to Viktor's place, he seemed to be staying over a lot now, at the rate they were going Tatiana would be pregnant anytime soon. I ran out of the car to the front door and began ringing the doorbell and knocking on the front door like a maniac.

"Hey, hey! Who are you, who are you looking for?!"

"Uhm…sorry, I'm looking for Viktor…Viktor Petrov."

"He moved out. Yeah, about a month ago." I felt like I was going to drop anytime soon, now I was well and truly fucked. Thankfully, Tatiana gripped my forearms and held on, I didn't even know when she got here. I had almost forgotten about her.

"Thank you, do you know where we can find him, where he might have gone to?"

"No, he doesn't talk to us much except the hello and goodbye."

"Okay, thanks. Come on, Arizona. Let's leave."

Tatiana tugged my numb body down the stairs to the car, I can't remember how I got home, I just found myself back in my room crying. This time, I had both Tatiana and Dimitri by my side, consoling me.

"I could give you a job at the club…if that's okay with you."

"And you know you're welcome to stay here as long as you'd like. You and your baby will have the most love and support from us. We can help you, your education, everything."

"If my church and my parents find out, I'm off the scholarship program."

"Then we won't tell them, they can find out at your graduation ceremony. But for now, we have enough resources to support you, so let us. Besides…this is my faulty too, I pushed you to date him…"

"It's okay, Tatiana. You only did what you thought was best."

"So, you're doing this." She waved her hand around my tummy and looked at me, they both kept looking at me, as though they were trying to figure out my response without having me speak. I took a deep breath and nodded.

"We're doing this."

***

It has been two years since it happened, I stood in front of my mirror with Mikael in my arms. It was my graduation day and also the day of truth. My parents landed in Russia last night and they would be coming to see me graduate today…it would also be the day they know about my baby boy and my ex, Viktor. I was nervous.

Tatiana and Dimitri have been so supportive throughout the years, Tatiana graduated the previous year and she had immediately taken up babysitting and Aunty duties. They were also his godparents; I wouldn't have had it any other way. Mikael looked an awful lot like his father which didn't help my aching heart on a lot of days, especially when he smiled…which was what he was doing right now. I leaned down and placed a kiss on his nose, which made him let out a tiny giggle. I wasn't completely hopeless; I had gotten an internship back in America with the FBI but it came with mixed feelings. I would miss Tatiana and Dimitri dearly, but I had to stand on my own two feet now. I had racked up enough savings since Tatiana and Dimitri refused to let me pay for anything.

I had enough to rent an apartment and keep I and Mikael going till my first paycheck. I had high grades, a stellar performance so getting a job wasn't hard for me at all, I was all set to move on to another phase of my life, all I had to do is survive the next few hours with my parents. Tatiana burst into the room, looking breathtaking as usual, and took Mikael from my arms. He went willingly, he loved her, sometimes I wondered if he thought Tatiana was his real mother or I was, I almost laughed at the thought but caught myself in time.

"What are you still doing? We're running late, let's go!"

I shoved my nervousness into a box and locked it up, I wasn't a little girl anymore. I loved my parents but I wouldn't let them degrade me for my choices. Viktor did a very good job with that. I knew they wouldn't do that. I was only nervous because I didn't want them to feel disappointed.

The car ride was filled with Tatiana crying and planting kisses all over me and Mikael's faces, telling us how much she'd miss us. I wasn't immune too, I pulled out a mirror every thirty seconds so we could check our make-up and make sure we weren't looking like masquerades. We finally arrived and I took my seat next to other graduating students like me. I saw my parents arrive at the venue just as the event was kicking off so we just waved at each other and enjoyed the show.

I had somehow prayed that the ceremony would last forever so I didn't have to face my parents but well…I stood with my parents chatting and taking pictures. They were proud and I was glad, I had graduated with honors and now it was on to the next level for me, we currently sat on the deserted seats and I fired a quick text to Tatiana and Dimitri to bring Mikael to meet my parents.

"Honey, I'm so proud of you. You did it…"

"Thanks, Dad. There's something I need to tell you guys." They looked at each other, then at me, then back at each other. Like they were trying to figure out what I wanted to tell them and tell it to each other by just looking.

"Okay, what is it?"

Just as I opened my mouth to speak, I heard Mikael screaming for me in Tatiana's arms. She dropped him on my lap and I saw the bewilderment of my parents. I knew they were dying to ask me who the boy was and most importantly why he was calling me Mama. I gently set him on my lap to face my parents.

"Mom and Dad, meet Mikael John Anderson. Your grandson."

There was no mistaking the look of shock on their faces, you would think they were having a stroke or maybe a heart attack. Their gazes were stuck on the little boy in my arms who couldn't be bothered by the tense adults around him, he just giggled and played with his hands and…the air.

"How did this happen?"

"When did this happen?"

"Who is responsible for him?"

"We must see him immediately, how could he do this to you? You have such a bright future."

"Him? It takes two to make a baby, Maria. How could you agree to this, Arizona?"

"Yes, I thought we raised you better than this…"

"Guys! If you could hold on for just a moment, I'll answer all your questions…"

"Okay. You better have a solid explanation for all this, young lady."

I stood up and we all went to Tatiana's house. Mikael was already taken with his grandparents that he crawled into my mother's lap when we got to the car, and despite the confusion, I could see my parents already getting used to the idea of having a grandchild.