Chapter Ninety-One - These Boots Were Made For Potions

Before Boxy left for the day, I pinched his nose, and at the same time, I reached through an open window and honked a customer’s horn.

You know, like a true professional.

“Are you tired of me yet?” At this point, I was tired of me.

“Ha!” Boxy folded me into a one-armed hug. “Never!”

He’d checked the security footage to see who’d delivered the second ransom note, but the camera over the garage didn’t reach as far as the mailbox at the curb. With the help of Boxy’s cane and a little push, it now did.

“Well, good,” I said. “I really don’t want to go around pinching everyone’s noses for the rest of my life.”

Boxy pulled away and settled a hand on my shoulders. His blue- and white-striped railroad cap threw a little shadow over his frown. “I’ll be coming with you tonight. I hope you know that. I don’t care what the second ransom note said.”

“Thanks, Boxy.” I opened my mouth to ask if he’d come with me to Kitty City too. Of course he’d say yes, but I was more protective over him than I was over myself. Secret ninja witch or not, I couldn’t lead him into danger.

As if reading my hesitation, he asked, “Is there anything else I can do for you, Vic? Anything at all other than let you pinch my nose again or let you light up my life like you always do?”

My chest warmed. “That deserves an even tighter hug, but no, I don’t think so. I’ll keep you posted if anything changes before midnight.”

“Please do, Vic. And just remember…your dad has two eyes.”

“Uh, thanks for the reminder?”

“He has two working eyes and a pretty mean karate chop. Not as good as mine, but still.” He shrugged. “That’s all I’m saying.”

Okay, what was he saying?

“And with that,”—he bent into an impressively low bow with a jazz-handed flourish and then rose again—“I will leave you until tonight.”

“Bye, Boxy. Thank you.”

“Of course.” He waved over his shoulder as he hobbled to his car through the snow.

Once he left, I bounded upstairs to get my car keys, purse, and coat, but then I took a whiff of something foul. The kind of foul that reminded me of stress sweat, the regular kind of sweat even while working in a July snowstorm, and days-old motor oil.

Yep, I was talking about me. I reeked like a trash goblin.

I took the quickest shower ever then dressed in my I’m Just Here to Establish An Alibi T-shirt Cass got me for my birthday. Then I topped that shirt with a winter sweater and thermal everything else. My turquoise hair took forever to dry, so I skipped that part and twirled it underneath the Santa hat Forever gave me. It worked like a charm.

Then two thoughts struck me like basketballs to the face, one right after the other:

1.My apartment was so quiet without my favorite familiar vrooming around. (This thought made my heart clench so I quickly moved on to the next thought).

2.My dad did have two eyes, one for each twin!

Quickly, I dialed his number. He’d come with me if I asked him to help make sure Carlitta and Carlotta didn’t try anything funny with the Ring of Everlasting Night.

“Dad, Boxy told me your karate-chopping skills are almost as good as his,” I said when he answered. “Is this true?”

“Almost as good as his? Ha! One time in high school physics class, I karate chopped a watermelon in half.”

“Really?” I asked.

“Really?” Chloe, his sugar momma wife and my new stepmother, asked. Her voice was muffled, but I still heard the impressed note in her voice.

“No, not really,” Dad said. “It was a loaf of bread I painted to look like a watermelon for our watermelon-drop contest. It’s sort of like an egg-drop contest where you surround the egg with protection before you drop it from a high-up place to see if you protected it enough to prevent it from breaking. Only we used watermelons instead of eggs.”

“You brought a loaf of bread instead of an actual watermelon?” I frowned. “Dad, that’s cheating.”

“The teacher said we could do whatever we wanted to protect our watermelon, so I did. I turned it into bread. I got a C for creativity, after I karate chopped it.”

“And…why did you karate chop it?” I asked.

Dad chuckled. “Because I was an eighteen-year-old kid. I karate chopped everything.”

I laughed. “Well, could I borrow your karate chops and creativity for the afternoon? I could meet you at Kitty City in thirty, if it’s okay.” I winced out my window. “I know the roads are bad though…”

“I would drive across hot coals for you. You know that.”

“I would too!” Chloe called. “If I drove myself, I mean. Love you, Victoria!”

“Love you too, Chloe!” I said with a huge grin.

I hadn’t always loved her, but time-traveling to save your stepmother’s life pretty much cinched the love deal. Who knew?

“Good thing hot coals aren’t necessary,” I continued. “So, I’ll see you in thirty, Dad?”

“Better make it twenty-nine. See you soon.” He hung up, leaving me more relieved than I’d felt in a while.

He sure had that effect on me a lot.

Exactly twenty-nine minutes later, I met him in front of Kitty City. People were out shoveling sidewalks, but I sure didn’t see the point. The snow was coming down too fast to keep up.

“Mind if I pinch your nose?” I asked Dad. “It’s the only way I can tell if you’re really you. I’m sorry in advance.”

He chuckled as he leaned his red nose closer. “For you? Anything. But if I’m not me, what happens?”

“Something purple. What that means, I have no idea.” I pinched him, and then we looked at each like grinning fools, waiting. “I think you’re good.”

He pinched my nose too. “You’re pretty good yourself. Now, why are we here?”

I quickly filled him in regarding my doubts about Carlitta and Carlotta touching, or even looking at, the Ring of Everlasting Night.

“You have it with you?” Dad asked.

I nodded. Fifteen minutes ago, when I’d walked into the public library and toward the shadow library, I’d spied Louise Leghorn, the library VP, talking to Ryan, a much, much younger library worker behind the front desk. I didn’t take much stock in rumors, but the gossip mill said they were close. And they definitely were while standing behind the front desk.

Not my circus. Not my monkeys. Not my business. Just my fastest in and out of the library ever.

“So that’s why you asked about my karate chopping,” he said as we strode toward Kitty City. “I just thought Boxy wanted to challenge me to a duel again.”

“A karate-chopping duel? Wait, again?”

“Well, sure. Haven’t you met us before?” He stuck out his gloved hand and winked, or he might’ve gotten snow in his eye. “Hi, I’m your dad.”

Chuckling, I shook his hand. “Hi there, Dad. I’m your sunray.”

“So you are, even on a day like today.” With his blue eyes twinkling, he opened the shop door and held it for me. “Ready?”

“Ready.” I entered Kitty City and was immediately greeted by purrs and leg flanks and plenty of slow blinks. And that was just from Carlitta and Carlotta alone!

Just kidding.

The cats really did do that though. It was like they forgave me for, um, existing, I guess.

They parted for us to make our way toward the smiling, bouncing twins behind the front counter. They were practically vibrating with excitement. One of them—Carlitta—stirred a bubbling cauldron on top of the checkout desk while cackling softly. Carlotta flicked what looked like chopped-up fly wings into the potion. Every time she did, sparks ignited over the brew, the reflections dancing in the frames of her two pairs of glasses.

They looked like they were having the time of their lives.

“Do you have the— Ray Fox?!” Carlitta broke off, her eyes doubling in size when she saw my dad.

When she jerked her head up, Carlotta turned a deep shade of crimson that matched her hair.

“I do have a Ray Fox,” I said, glancing between the three of them. “Do you all know each other?”

“Well, I wasn’t sure when you said twins,” Dad told me, “but I went to high school with Carlitta and Carlotta.”

My eyes must’ve felt it was their turn to double in size. “You did?”

But Carlitta and Carlotta looked about twenty years younger than Dad. In fact, Carlotta even said she was forty-four, and Dad had already retired. I smelled a lie and maybe an age-defying potion or five.

With their attention snagged on Dad, the twins stumbled around the front counter toward him.

“Ray Fox?” Carlotta turned to her sister, a strange mix of panic and glee on her face. “Is this really happening right now?”

“Whatever is happening is definitely happening right now,” I muttered, beginning to read between the lines. The twins were obviously crushing on my dad. “And what’s happening is I’ve now entered the peak awkward zone.”

Dad’s polite smile cracked into a grin and a snort. Out of the side of his mouth, he said, “Is that like The Twilight Zone but with more blushing?”

“And more eyelash fluttering,” I told him in a low voice. “Seriously, you might want to duck.”

The blushing twins and their batting eyelashes converged on my dad like he was a movie star.

“How long has it been?” Carlitta gushed as she took Dad’s hand and shook it.

“Since high school, I guess,” Dad answered.

Carlotta squealed. “You haven’t changed a bit. You still have the same beautiful eyes.”

“Where did you get them?” Nodding, Carlitta clasped her hands together under her chin.

“We must know,” Carlotta agreed. “And your skin is so tan. If I could wear it for just one minute, that would be the best thing ever.”

“Umm…” Dad glanced at me for help, but I just shrugged.

I was as struck speechless as he was because I thought I was bad at conversations. Or was this the twins’ idea of flirting?

Then my dad did something truly epic—he took charge of the peak awkward zone by reaching out and pinching both their noses.

“Hoooonk,” he said as he did so, like it was all a big joke.

Thankfully, nothing happened when he pinched them, other than they giggled like schoolgirls and then bounded toward their cauldron.

Dad turned to me as we followed after them at a much slower pace. “And here I thought Boxy was the Romeo in high school, and I was just the troublemaker who annoyed everyone.”

“But where did you get your eyes?” I asked, looping my arm through his.

“From a dinosaur of a man named Dr. Do-You-Think-He-Saurus, of course.”

I dissolved into a fit of laughter at that. My dad was my favorite dad for a reason.

“We’re going to need everyone’s shoes,” Carlotta said matter-of-factly when we stepped up to the front counter.

“Okay… Why?” I asked.

Carlitta shrugged as though this should be obvious. “The potion calls for shoe stink, and plenty of it.”

“I do have plenty of shoe stink, but I won’t have to drink that, will I?” I scrunched my nose at the already foul-smelling potion.

“Oh, heaven’s no,” Carlotta said. “It will turn you green though.”

I blinked hard at her. “What?”

“Do you have the— Ray Fox?!”

“Yes…I do have a Ray Fox,” I said, struggling to get my boots off when my winter coat made it near impossible to bend. “We’ve done this already… Can we skip past this part so you can tell me why I’ll be turning green, please?”

“Your shoes,” Carlitta exclaimed. “Why, they’re as tan as you are. Does this mean what I think it means?”

What, exactly, did she think it meant? You know what? Never mind. I was just fine not knowing.

To deflect, Dad reached out and honked their noses again. They giggled like schoolgirls again. Such a charmer, my dad.

He and I carefully dropped our shoes and boots into the bubbling cauldron.

“Now what?” I prompted. “Why will this potion turn me green?”

“Because you must reach to the bottom of the cauldron and gently place the ring there,” Carlotta explained, scooping more chopped-up fly wings into her palm.

“Gently,” Carlitta emphasized. “No plopping willy-nilly.”

“But…the cauldron’s boiling,” I said.

Carlotta waved my fears away, several wings sifting through her fingers. “You won’t even feel it.”

“But…how?”

Carlitta shrugged. “Magic.”

I barely trusted my own magic, but theirs? I wasn’t even sure I trusted them.

“You’re sure this potion will work to make a copy of the…ahem…but not its magic? It won’t melt the…ahem…or worse, make it even stronger?”

“It made a copy of our favorite teacup, Teacup,” Carlotta said, blinking at me. “That’s all we know.”

“Oh! But you can’t go play on a jungle gym after this for at least…what, an hour?” Carlitta looked to her sister who nodded.

“Fine,” I said even though I was the very definition of not fine. “I’ll try to contain my jungle-gym obsession for at least an hour. What else?”

Carlotta pointed to two teacups on the countertop. “This one is the original,” she said, tapping the one on the right. “And this one is the copy.” She tapped the one on the left. “The copy even has a chip on the bottom like the original and a lipstick stain that never would wash off, no matter what.”

She was right. The two teacups were identical in every way. For some reason, that didn’t make me feel any better.

“But neither of you turned green,” I pointed out.

Carlotta took off the glove on her left hand then rolled up the sleeve of her flowery top. Sure enough, her whole arm had turned a Broccoli-Tea green.

Super.

“At least it’s temporary,” Carlotta said.

“I hope,” Carlitta muttered under her breath.

Well, if it meant not having to hand over the real ring and save Studmuffin, I would bathe in that cauldron. For everyone else’s sake, though, I sure hoped it didn’t come to that.

I retrieved the sealed plastic baggie from an inside pocket of my coat, opened it to find a little black box, inside of which was another baggy with another box inside.

“Russian doll-like protection,” Dad said, offering his hands to hold all the excess. “I like it.”

“I figured it would be harder to summon from me that way.” I held the ring between my thumb and forefinger for a moment as I gathered up my nerve.

The twins held their breaths, watching closely, and maybe even muttering a prayer up to the potion gods. It was hard to hear their soft voices over my crashing heartbeat.

Dad put the baggies and boxes down on the counter before placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder. “Whether this works or not, green is my favorite color, even on my daughter.”

“Thanks, Dad.” I lifted both of my pinkies high and wiggled them at him. “Pinkies up.”

He held his up too, all the way over his head. “Pinkies way up.”

Taking a deep breath, I moved the ring over the bubbling brew. The rising steam moistened my fingers, but I held the ring firmly so it wouldn’t slip from my grip and “plop willy-nilly” into the potion. Then, taking all the courage I had and any slivers of it from any dusty corners I’d forgotten about inside me, I lowered my arm into the cauldron.

My arm moved with jerky movements since all of my instincts shouted, “What are you doing? Don’t do that! Boiling means HOT! Did you sprain your brain again?” Well, yes. Most definitely, and it happened right after Studmuffin was catnapped.

The ring dunked under the surface. Heat touched my fingertips, but it didn’t hurt.

“You okay?” Dad whispered.

I bobbed my head in a yes/no/maybe/I better rethink my life choices kind of way.

I kept going. The brew crept up my fingers until it swallowed up my whole hand. Still no pain, so I’d call that a win! I dunked the ring in faster, maneuvering my arm around all the boots inside the cauldron. When the ring touched the bottom, I released it and quickly brought out my arm.

“Ohhhh,” Carlitta gushed.

“Pretty,” Carlotta declared. “Your skin is a prettier color than mine. Can I borrow yours sometime?”

I stared in shocked silence. My arm was turquoise, the very same shade as my hair. A sheen of golden glitter covered it. It was simply gorgeous. Why hadn’t I dipped my arm into a boiling cauldron way before now?

“I’ll just tell everyone my transformation into a mermaid is nearly complete,” I said with a huge grin.

Dad chuckled. “Yeah, it’s not bad at all.”

Meanwhile, the twins were vigorously stirring the potion with all four hands.

“What happens now?” I asked them, and then a horrific smell wafted from the concoction. It smelled like cherry-flavored cough syrup, halitosis, and bad karma. “Oh, that reeks. Too many chopped-up fly wings?”

Carlitta’s mouth popped open, as if the very idea were absurd. “Absolutely not.”

“We can’t stop stirring.” Carlotta looked to Dad, her eyes pleading and watering at the same time. “Help! Please! The smell!”

“You got it.” Always the hero, Dad reached out, pinched both their noses, and stayed that way.

I held both mine and his. It was like I’d prepared all day for exactly this.

Carlitta and Carlotta kept stirring, their four mixing spoons blurring together into one. Sparks and snaps erupted from the top, loud enough that the four of us flinched back. The cauldron itself shook hard.

“What’s happening?” I asked, my voice nasally since I still held my nose.

A giant crack splintered along the side of the cauldron. Oh no, that couldn’t be good. The crack split and webbed even more, growing larger.

“Carlitta?” I screeched. “Carlotta?”

They just stared with their mouths hanging open.

The last crack snapped loudly before the cauldron and everything inside it just…melted. The cauldron might as well have been liquid, marbling its black color throughout the red, sludgy potion. It oozed out over the entire counter and onto the floor like lava.

All of us leaped away from what looked like a volcano experiment that had gone very, very wrong. At least the stink had dissipated some.

“Did it work?” Dad asked. “Did the potion make a copy?”

The four of us searched, and I eventually spotted something shiny bobbing along one of many lava rivers.

“Ah-ha!” I rescued the shiny thing and wiped it clean on my sweater. “One ring down. But where’s the other?”

We looked everywhere, all of us dropping to our hands and knees and running our fingers through the not-hot lava.

Finally, Dad rose to his feet, the expression on his face admitting defeat before he did. “Sunray, I don’t think it worked. The copy’s not here. I’m sorry.”

“Maybe it got trapped between some floorboards though, or it rolled underneath something, or maybe someone—” I cut myself off when I saw that the twins looked as exhausted and defeated as I felt. I had been about to say “someone stole it,” but we were all who we appeared to be. We’d pinched each other’s noses to prove it.

“We’re really sorry, Victoria,” Carlitta said.

“Really sorry,” Carlotta added.

I believed them. They hadn’t given me any reason to doubt them. Not today, at least.

“It’s okay. I’ll find another way.”

Could I in time though? Because I was beginning to think I couldn’t have my cake and eat it too, so to speak.

And that was a real bummer, both in the cake-eating sense and the one that got Studmuffin back to me safely without handing over the real ring.