Chapter 12 Bitter Agony.
Chapter 12.
Bitter Agony.
Lucas slams on the brakes and turns, revving the engine to full speed.
Meanwhile, at the party, Alicia is in one of the bathrooms vomiting; one of the pills comes out in the liquids she expels, freeing her from her agony. As soon as she gets up, she washes her face and mouth, looking at herself in the mirror. Her mascara is smudged, her hair messy. She tries to fix herself up a little before going out, observing the university students around, enjoying the party. She, with only a couple of drinks, is already drunk. She’s not used to these parties; they are not to her liking. Everything in the place feels alien to her, and the idea of being there begins to bother her.
“There you are, come, pretty one, let’s dance.”
“No, Rogelio, I want to leave,” she tells him uncomfortably.
Rogelio, seeing her, understands in his mind that she wants to go somewhere more private.
“Alright, let’s go, let’s get out of here.” He guides her through the place, takes her to his jacket, and they say goodbye to close friends.
“Where are you going?” one of his friends asks him.
“To my apartment.”
The guy quickly understands what he means and nods, bumping fists with him.
Upon leaving the place, Alicia lets herself be led; she simply walks. The rain is a field of sadness that hides her tears, her pain, because deep down she knows what she’s going to. And although she has doubts, there is a part of her that needs this, and another that tells her it’s not right. She tells herself that those two angels, one bad and one good, work to fulfill their objectives, and in her, the bad part, in these moments, is what alleviates her pain, the dissatisfaction, the complexity of her being.
“Come in, do you want something to drink?” Rogelio asks. She shakes her head. “Sit down, relax, I’ll find a towel for you.”
Alicia sits down, her heart beating fast. She waits for him to return. Upon returning, Rogelio helps her dry off, takes off her jacket, and tries to remove the water drops from her face, but the desire doesn’t wait. He kisses her; their lips meet in an intense kiss. At first, Alicia doesn’t respond, living the three stages of shock: first astonishment, then acceptance, and finally, surrender. She gives in, reciprocating every kiss.
Rogelio settles underneath her and begins to kiss her neck, to touch her. She remains still, restless, when the memories of Lucas overwhelm her and a wave of nausea invades her. She begins to feel disgust for what Rogelio is doing to her and remorse invades her.
“Stop, please…” she asks, she begs. “Stop.” She pushes him away and sits up abruptly, covering her breasts, which still have the bra on, and focuses on him with coldness as she quickly gets dressed.
“What’s wrong? I thought you were having fun, that this was what you wanted. What the hell is wrong with you?”
“I’m disgusted by you, that’s what’s wrong, I don’t want you to touch me.”
She quickly stands up, grabs her bag and her jacket, and runs out of the place, trying to escape from Rogelio, who shouts her name, full of frustration and anger.
Desperation and agony.
Lucas is in the middle of the room, looking for her with a photo of her on his cell phone and his desperation at its peak.
“Have you seen her?”
People shake their heads, others dismiss its importance, others just ignore him, seeing him as a madman, but it is true, he is going crazy. His mind condemns him, he imagines the worst: that something happened to her, or that she is in any of those rooms, having sex with anyone, that he will commit a folly and that tomorrow everything will be a torture for her. Yes, he is losing his sanity to find her.
“Eliza, Elizabeth, Alicia?”
“Mr. Jank…” the young woman is scared to see him. “I don’t know, she was here with us, she said she was going to the bathroom, but she didn’t come back. We went to look for her and saw her leave with Rogelio, maybe she already left.”
“Rogelio? Where did they go with him? Elizabeth, her car is outside, where could he have taken her?”
“To his place, maybe.”
Lucas clenches his jaw, full of frustration.
“Elizabeth, she hasn’t gone to the house, I have my men looking for her and the ones waiting at the house confirm she’s not there. Tell me, where did he take her?”
“To his apartment,” one of the guys present says. “We saw them leave and he said he would take her to his apartment, she didn’t look good at all.”
Lucas looks at him, feeling a wave of heat and suffocation that hits him hard, causing weakness in his body.
“Where is his apartment?”
“In the university area of the campus, five minutes from here,” Elizabeth finally answers. “Follow the end of the campus to the right, tower B, fifth floor, she should be there.”
“Thank you, Elizabeth.”
“Mr. Jank, please know that no one forced her to go there, to drink, or to have sex. She wanted to, don’t blame us later.”
Lucas doesn’t answer, he just nods and leaves in search of Alicia. He runs through the campus, gets into his car, and drives, honking his horn for the students to move away. Many throw drinks at him, others just move away, but Lucas, in his mind, is only looking for Alicia. Away from the campus, at the end of the buildings, he goes slowly, when he sees her.
Alicia is walking in the rain, hugging herself, her clothes disheveled and her head down, soaked, walking aimlessly, when the blinding light illuminates her. She lifts her gaze, focusing on the man in front of her. Lucas stops. Both, being battered by the rain, look at each other, and it is there that she runs into his arms, being received with such force that it makes her feel safe, despite her sobs.
“Forgive me, forgive me, my love.”
“What happened? Tell me, did he hurt you? Did he harm you? Did you sleep with him?” She looks at him for a few seconds and shakes her head.
“I couldn’t, I couldn’t do it,” she cries. “I couldn’t give myself to him, because I can’t, I don’t want to give myself to anyone but you. I can’t be anyone else’s but yours, Lucas, forgive me. I tried, I tried to erase you, I tried to forget you, but I couldn’t. I’m sorry, I don’t want to feel this, but I can’t avoid it, I can’t stop loving you.” She hugs him and he kisses her desperately on the cheek, neck, and shoulder, reaching her lips, which he takes in an intense kiss, which she reciprocates, uniting them under the torrential rain.
He hugs her, kissing her forehead with absolute devotion.
“Let’s go home.”