Chapter 157 157

Chapter 157 157
Mia nods, like she expected precisely that answer. Disappointment flits across her face, but it’s brief. Gone as soon as it comes. “I understand.”

Wordlessly, she stands on her tiptoes.

It’s hell—resisting the urge to kiss her. It’s a fight I can’t win.

Our lips meet. I taste salt in our kiss. Her tears, falling freely.

Then I feel a sting.

It’s so quick, I barely realize what’s happening. “Mia…” I stare at the syringe in her hand. “What did you…?”

The world starts tilting.

“I’m sorry.” She’s crying now, grabbing me under the arms as I lose my balance. Lowering me gently to the ground so I don’t fall. “I’m so sorry, Yulian. For everything.”

Tears keep shattering on the terracotta tiles. I reach out instinctively to wipe them away, but that only seems to make Mia cry harder.

“Don’t worry,” she says. “It’s just a mild sedative. You’ll wake up soon. Won’t feel a thing.”

Betrayal doesn’t catch up to me fast enough. Sadness doesn’t, either.

But one thing does.

Fear.

Not for myself—for her.

Because suddenly, I know how she’s planning to get Kallie back.

I stretch my hand. Try to stop her, keep her here, but my vision is too blurry, my limbs too heavy. I’m fighting against the current and losing.

Don’t go.

Don’t… don’t leave.

Don’t walk away from me again.

“Goodbye, Yulian.”

The world spins. It crashes, blinks in and out of focus.

Then there’s nothing.

There’s no one.

Mia is gone, and I’m left all alone.

57

MIA

I don’t look back.

If I do, it’ll be over. I won’t be able to go through with it. So I force myself to walk away. One foot in front of the other, like I’ve done for so long.

Just like Ginny said: Running away—isn’t that what I do best?

We climb into the car. As the engine roars to life, Maksim steals a concerned glance my way. “Are you certain about this?”

No. “I am.”

“Pardon my insistence, but you don’t sound it.”

I take a deep, centering breath. He’s not wrong, but I can’t show weakness now. Yulian isn’t here to be the boss, which means I have to be. “It’s the only way. Kallie needs us.”

He grits his teeth at that. I can see his loyalty to Yulian warring with his love for my best friend. “You won’t be able to come back from this, you know.”

“Neither will you.”

He doesn’t contradict me. If there’s one thing Yulian doesn’t take kindly to, it’s betrayal. Maksim may not have been in on my plan, but he didn’t exactly stop me, either. None of us are innocent.

Especially not me.

My hands are shaking. I look at them and expect blood. Earlier tonight, I took a life. Shot a man three times, watched him sink into the bay. Didn’t even try to save him.

I’m a killer. A murderer. I broke my oath, became something I swore I’d never be. I did harm—intentionally.

I can’t have Yulian kill Brad for me, too.

His blood would be on my hands. Regardless of who pulled the trigger, I’d know I was responsible. And Brad isn’t Desya. He isn’t a rampaging psychopath with a chip on his shoulder and countless bodies on his nonexistent conscience. He’s a garden-variety abuser, an asshole and a liar, yes, a bad man, but he never killed anyone. Granted, the bar’s never been lower, but it’s still something.

Bradley Baldwin may be the worst piece of shit who’s ever lived. He may have made my life miserable for five years. He may have hit me, terrorized me, and chased me to the end of the earth.

But I’m not him. I have to be better than him. I owe it to my son.

I owe it to him not to kill his father.

I stare at the text Brad sent after his call. A location pin, one I know well. He must be truly sick—to pick that of all places. Yet another way to torture me.

“Can we…” I swallow thickly. “Can we stop somewhere on the way?”

Maksim frowns at me from the driver’s seat. “Will you be long?”

“No.” I shake my head. “We won’t even need to go in. I just… I need to see him.”

Realization dawns on his face. Wordlessly, he takes a right instead of a left.

We don’t speak the whole way over. I lose track of time. It’s taking all I’ve got just to hold everything in, to not let myself break down. What I’m doing is dangerous. It’s risky, and desperate, and there’s a high chance it’ll go wrong.

But if it goes right, I’ll have saved two people tonight.

No—three.

I touch my hand to my belly. My daughter is there, sleeping soundly. She has no idea I’m about to risk both our lives.

I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, baby girl.

Mommy’s gotta do this.

We pull up in front of my parents’ place. The Upper East Side is pristine as always. Not a single lamppost flickering, not a blade of grass out of place.

I find Eli’s window. It’s the room Mom had made up for him, full of toys and crayons and star stickers on the ceiling.

I feel a sob coming on, but force myself to choke it down.

I want to go inside and hug him so badly. Kiss him goodnight one more time, take in his laughter and his smile and his Cheez-It smell. I want to impress every detail of him into my mind, so I’ll never, ever forget.

Instead, I swallow my tears and rasp, “Let’s go.”

Maksim silently pulls back into the street.

After a few minutes, I find my voice again. “Maks. I need you to promise me something.”

“Of course,” he says. “Anything.”

“Keep him safe.” It comes out in a half-choke sob. “If—If I’m not around⁠—”