Chapter 88
CLAIRE’s POV
We walk away from the house, all the while
I feel like Jake is staring at us or specifically me, through the windows.
Hector seems happy as he runs around, comes bag and nudges my hand with his
nose. This dog is too cute. I stop and crouch down and fluff his ears and put a
kiss on top of his head. Satisfied he runs off again.“He likes you,” Clive says warmly. We’re
walk close but not holding hands. I don’t know. Is it too early for anything
physical? Even something as small as holding hands?God, I am so out of all this type of being
with a man thing. For years with Jonathan, it was stale, cold and yet I still
couldn’t get away from the man. For years, I thought it was all me. In my head.
Now I can see how much time I really wasted.I could have been married by now with a
family of my own. I always wanted to have children. Three, although I’d settle
with two. The ideal of course, a boy and a girl. They would grow up and be
healthy, happy and content.Not to be.“I like him,” I say quietly. “He’s a good
dog. I always wanted a dog, but my parents wouldn’t allow it. My mother was a
bit too house proud and my father worked away a lot.”He nods. “Shame, you are good with him. I
can see you with more animals, Claire. Maybe a cat or two. We have some that
roam around the cabin, I feed them they bugger off then come back when it’s
time for feeding.”We walk silently for a few seconds. Yes, I
can see myself with pets, a whole bunch of cats and two dogs. Dogs like Hector
or any rescue dogs that need their forever home. First, however, I need to get
settled.Nathalie is going to help me. I have no idea
what I want to do or where I want to be. Honestly, I thought coming to Clive would
be a sanctuary for me to nurse my wounds and lick them, only with his creepy
brother, I am now not too sure.“Your brother,” I say as we trudge over
fallen leaves. I love the crispiness of them underfoot and the different shades
in the autumn months.“Jake?”“He seems a bit off with me.”Clive laughs, it’s deep and rumbles in his
chest. I kind of like it, however, talking about his brother is not a laughing matter.
Least ways to me in any case.“He doesn’t like anyone, Claire. Especially
not women. Bad blood between him and women I’m afraid.”I say nothing but every part of me wants to
know more. I want Clive to elaborate. Or maybe he feels it isn’t his story to
tell.Not able to help myself, “why?”Clive stops and picks up a long stick and
throws it for Hector who dashes off like he’s being chased by gunmen.“Bad marriage. She left him after five
years together and took off with his best friend. Sent him over the edge. He
had known her since they were kids. Same school and all of that. Bad news that
woman. She left town straight after with his best friend. He doesn’t trust
anyone now, Claire.”Clive looks down at me, his eyes hold
something behind them but I can’t tell exactly what. There’s warmth in them but
a shadow at the same time.“That’s awful, he must have been really hurt.
Clive, I have to ask. Is he on drugs?”Clive stops in his tracks, his dark brows
furrow together. I notice they’re quite heavy set. A bird swoops down and gives
me the fright of my life.“It’s just a bird, Claire,” he tells me.
Shit, I am a nervous ball of energy right now.“He used to be but he’s clean now. I guess
you can tell from the way he looks. He got hooked on meth. Took a few stints in
rehab to get him to stay and realize that he is worth being alive. She did a
number on him.”I drop my head to the ground. It’s a tragic
story.Perhaps my fear of him and the chills he
gives me is because he thinks I am after Clive and his money and that I will
leave, like his ex did.However, I am not built that way.My entire being longs for a man to wrap his
arms around me and tell me that he loves me, for me. Not someone who puts me
down, ridicules me and wants to ruin my life.“Are you cold?” he asks noticing that I
shivered.“No, I’m fine.”“Why do you ask about Jake?”“It’s just the way he looks at me. Listen,
forget it. I shouldn’t have said anything. He’s your brother. I’m just on
tenterhooks is all. Let’s carry on walking. I don’t want to head back in yet.”He nods and then I feel his fingers brush
my hand. They’re warm, as he takes my fingers and gives them a squeeze. He
takes my small hand in his.“Is this okay?” he asks.I like how it feels and I trust Clive. Baby
steps I tell myself. Baby steps.I nod and bite my lower lip.“Yes, it’s okay,” I tell him. He gives me a
broad smile, honestly it lights up his eyes in a way I’ve not seen in a man for
a very long time.“Good, we’ll go nice and slow, Claire and
if you decide being with me isn’t for you, then I will understand. I will never
stand in your way, Claire. Not after what you have just been through.”“Thank you,” I say as I turn and tilt my
head up.Clive’s eyes travel to my lips. Is he going
to kiss me?And then I feel his soft lips on mine. It
feels nice, it feels like I am wanted.The kiss is slow and gentle, he doesn’t
even try to probe into my mouth and I thank him silently for that.“Caught you!” I hear a deep voice saying
from behind me.The hairs on my back stand on end.