Chapter 15
Present
Jonathan’s alarm went off at five a.m. It was still dark outside. He drank his protein shake and headed out the door for his morning run.
Across the street, she quickly tied her hair into a ponytail. Her ear pods were firmly in place. She was ready to run. Jonathan watched as the woman came onto the pavement opposite him. He could not see her properly. One of the street lamps was out and the street was dimly lit.
He did not have time to debate in his head who the stranger from across the road was; it never occurred to him that the Johnson’s had moved in the time he had been away. They were a retired couple well into their late seventies, they had always expressed that moving would never happen. It had been their first married home and they would stay until the day they died; they had once told him. It was not any of his business.
Two runners in the cold early morning, opposite sides of the road, their pace identical, fluid and easy, as if they had been running partners forever. Jonathan could see her from the corner of his eye wishing she would run the other direction. He was a loner and her presence was disturbing him. He got to his stop point and took a breather; she stopped at exactly the same time.
He gave it a couple of seconds and began to run on. She continued to run. Go on, you know you want to know who I am. Why don’t you come over and confront me? She smiled as she ran, very aware that just her being there was irritating him. Jonathan tried to ignore her; he tried to focus on his breathing and on keeping his eyes directly in front of him.
The irritation was mounting, his focus was waning. He’d ran for the last six years the same route at the same time every single day except for when he’d been States side, and he’d never seen anybody out. He tried to stop the questions of who the woman from the Johnson’s was.
Finally, he reached his turning point. The lights this end of his circuit were brighter. She stopped running at the same time and turned her back on him. Her red ponytail hanging down to her shoulders gave Jonathan a bolt. I know you are looking she thought to herself. I know you are wondering if I’m her. She turned and raised her hand to wave. She did not need to say anything and began to run back to the house.
He hesitated he wanted to run after her. How many women was he going to see who kept reminding him in some way of Clare? There was no way on earth it was her, but the hair. The woman driving at him the day of the fire, her blue eyes and her red hair. He knew it had been Clare and she knew he knew. This he told himself is not the same woman it is not the same woman.
Jonathan reached his house; she had already got back inside and switched the lights on across the street. He’d check out later if the Johnson’s had moved, it was not unusual to not see them from day to day and let’s face it, I’ve not exactly been around a lot since I got back, he told himself.
She stood at the window with the curtain hiding her, watching him looking at the house. He only needed to shift his face slightly to the left and he would see her fully. Jonathan moved his head slightly; he thought he could see something move in the downstairs window. Shrugging it off he headed for the shower.
The water scalded him, he turned on the cold tap but nothing was coming through. “Fucks sake.” He yelled out. He snapped off the tap and let the cold run. The temperature was still high. “Jesus Christ.” There was not anyone he could ring right now, trying very hard to maintain control Jonathan had no choice but to get out and get dressed.
A laugh escaped her mouth as she watched him abuse the taps; she knew he would be fighting with himself now. His day was going to be long, very long indeed. The drive he had ahead of him was not going to be smooth either, in fact she already knew he was not going to be getting to his meeting on time.
Jonathan grabbed his briefcase and keys from the hallway and pressed the garage remote. Easily the double garage doors slid up and open. Briskly he locked his front door and went to his car. Gently he eased the car from the garage; he swept the irritation of his run and the shower from his mind.
The drive along the remote country lanes to the barn where they now ran their business from was always therapeutic for Jonathan. It gave him time to think about his day and go through every minor detail. His mind was on the planning meeting ahead. He could rely that Billie would be there already and they would drive together to the site. He took his eyes from the road ahead for two seconds.
The bright light almost blinded him as it came towards him at lightning speed. He had no time to think, his only course of action was to avert. He turned the wheel knowing there was nothing to the right and that he could quickly recover the road. The motorbike kept on coming, playing chicken with the car headlights, the rider exhaled slowly as the car swerved out of the way.
Jonathan felt the impact; his air bag exploded in his face and took him by total surprise. Panic rose inside him, had he hit the rider? Surely, he had not, he was sure if he had managed to swerve in time.
He struggled his way out of the car feeling slightly disorientated and sighed with relief as he saw he had gone over a pothole. He needed to contact Billie to let him know to come and pick him up and organise to have the car taken care of.
As he turned back to look in the direction the motorbike had gone, his jaw gaped open. She took off her helmet and shook her long red hair; it cascaded down her back like a waterfall. Her blue eyes met his. “Clare, Clare is that you?” He shouted out to her. She turned and smiled then flicked her finger at him. Within seconds, she was back on the bike and gone.
“What’s up Jonathan? Where are you for Christ’s sake? We have to be on the road in ten minutes. We can’t be late for our own show.” Billie was not impressed as he tried to control his frustration. “I had an accident. Listen I’ll call the breakdown people to get the car. Can you come and get me from Drury Lane? We’ll head straight to the meeting.”
“An accident, what happened?” Billie asked. “Are you ok?” Jonathan explained leaving the incident with the woman out of it.
“Right see you shortly. I’ll bring one of the guys with me; they can wait with your car for the breakdown guys to arrive so we can get on. Sure you’re ok mate?”
“I’m fine. Let’s just get on our way. I ended up in a bloody pot hole trying to avoid a motorcyclist who wanted to come straight at me.” Jonathan hung up. His mind in over-drive. Had it been on purpose? Is someone out to get me? He started to question everything from the last few days. Surely not Clare, he pacified himself, that woman could not scare a mouse. As he continued to question, the last few days in his mind Billie arrived.
“Come on hop in.” He waited until Jonathan was belted up and began to drive. “So, what exactly happened?” He asked as he looked straight ahead at the road. “Bit of a mess.” He offered.
“Just a bit Billie. Bloody pothole, it wouldn’t have been so bad. I’ve driven along this road endless times; you don’t think someone did this on purpose do you?” Jonathan asked, also not looking at Bille, his eyes transfixed on the road ahead. He wasn’t the greatest of passengers at the best of times; however, today Billie could sense his discomfort.
“On purpose…,” he paused. “Why do you think anyone would try to get you down a pothole? Are you sure you’ve not had a hit to the head?” Billie asked with the faint hint of a laugh in his throat. “It’s bordering a bit on absurd mate.”
“It was Clare.” Jonathan said simply. Billie scoffed and cleared his throat. “Clare. Are you losing the plot mate? I mean Clare really! The poor cow upped and left you years ago.”
“I saw her. The rider was a woman, she had long red hair and blue eyes, and she looked exactly like Clare.” Jonathan continued. He did a sideways glance of Billie who was still concentrating on the road.
“Clare doesn’t have long red hair Jonathan. Although I suppose in the last four years, she could have grown it and dyed it!” He could tell Jonathan was digesting the idea. “A motorbike though. I’m not sure she’d get on a motorbike. You know she even hated driving or going above forty. The girl was timid; I mean proper timid in the end. Look maybe you need to speak with someone.” He paused trying to leave out the obvious but Jonathan was too fixated in his mind to even be rational right now. Billie knew all the signs.
“What are you trying to say Billie? That I’m imagining all of this.” Jonathan’s voice was cold. Billie ignored it; he was used to Jonathan’s quick changes of temperament. “No, I’m not saying that, I just think maybe you never got over her leaving you like that. Maybe subconsciously you didn’t want her to leave even though you treated her like shit!”
“What did you just say?” Asked Jonathan. Billie knew the ice was now flooding through Jonathan’s veins and considered changing the conversation, unfortunately they were in it now and after all these years, he had something to say about the whole Clare situation.
He did not hesitate and nor did he feel like holding back, it was if a lid had been taken off the boiling pot. “I said,” he began slowly. “That you treated her like absolute shit. You know it, she knew it and so did everyone else.” He could see he had the full attention of a seething Jonathan whose piercing eyes were now almost boring holes into Billie. “Carry on Billie. You’ve obviously got some shit to get off your chest.”
“The way you controlled and manipulated her for a start. She could not go out anywhere without reporting in to you. Making her call every time she got to work. I mean really Jonathan.”
“That was to see if she had got there safely.” Jonathan replied defensively.
“Bullshit! You had to keep tabs on her, safely my arse. You wanted her to think that. Then putting that thing on the mobile so you could hear every conversation, see every text. Jonathan that was just sick! You’re lucky she never found out. Or did she?” Billie threw in the question knowing it could possibly unnerve the man beside him.
“How on earth would someone as dumb as Clare realise that? And that was so I knew she was ok.”
“She wasn’t stupid mate, nor dumb. In fact, Clare was a switched-on woman and very smart. How do you think she got a job as an accountant? That’s not called stupid!” Realising Jonathan was not going to say anything to that, Billie continued. “You had to know where she was and who with every second. The poor girl had no friends in the end. She would go somewhere and you would turn up apparently to surprise her. It was not a surprise Jonathan; you humiliated her telling her she had to go home more often than not. You wanted to demean her and control her. You drove all her friends away; you made her a complete laughing stock with your obsessive, manipulative behaviour.”
“I get the impression you’re not finished yet!” Jonathan said with utter sarcasm dripping from his words. “Not really Jonathan I’m not, but enough has been said. You know what you did. You met a perfectly beautiful woman, with so much confidence it was scary, in fact it was downright intimidating. She came into a room and held everyone captive with her voice, her demeanour. There was something so special about Clare and you ruined it and destroyed it.” Bille sighed, right now he felt like punching Jonathan in the face. In fact, he felt like doing a whole lot more than that. Yes, they had been friends since childhood, studied together, gone through business school together and even ended up in business together, successfully. That’s if you don’t take the fire into consideration Billie told himself.
“I don’t think it was like that at all Billie. I don’t think you could even begin to understand how much I loved Clare. I still love her.” Jonathan added, his voice though, Bille noticed, was cold and devoid of emotion.
“Well that kind of love crushed her, you strangled her and took the wind out of her, she wouldn’t even go anywhere in the end and all that exuberance and that shining light, it faded. She became a zombie. Therefore, that girl you made her into Jonathan, could never in a million years be the woman you saw on the bike. I suggest you either get help with all of this or get over it. Stop trying to blame everything that is happening to you right now on someone else. Grow up and take responsibility!” Billie stopped talking.
“Let’s hope we can get through this meeting Billie and then we really need to have a talk about the business when we get back.” Jonathan was colder than ever. Billie nodded curtly, he knew this would come one day and he was prepared. He could not stand to work alongside him anymore.
The time had come to part their ways. Jonathan mate, you’re in for one hell of a shock! He thought and smiled. Jonathan saw the faint smile on his best friend’s face. All things have to come to an end he told himself.