CASSANDRA
Trey seems stiff the whole way to my house. I can't help it. I know he can't be my mate. I just don't get why he feels so strongly for me. At most the only feelings I have for him are that of a friend. At least I got him to stop kissing me. He will see, on my birthday. I just hope that he doesn't hate me. I don't want to lose him as a friend.
I don't feel like facing Aunt Josephine yet. She hasn't gotten any easier over the past month. We just aren't seeing eye to eye on anything. She insists on this feud and I just don't see it. I have done all the research that there is to do. There is no reason for the feud. Both men died. The woman disappeared. Why do we still fight over this? It doesn't make sense. I tried to trace it back to the family that it involves, but they have changed their family name and I can find no record of the new last name. A big pain in the ass if you ask me.
After I watch Trey drive away, I make my way to the woods. I haven't been out here since the last time I saw Gray. I don't like the memories, but I need to have some alone time. At the moment, these woods seem comforting. Like I need to be here to get myself centered. I trudge through the first trees, I can see where I usually would sit and wait for Gray. I don't plan on stopping there. That would just be stupid.
I passed by the tree that he would always sit behind. As I am behind it, I hear a yip. I stop in my tracks. Why the hell is he here? I turned and there on the log that had fallen, just beyond where we would sit, is Gray. He is in his fur. His big tongue hangs out of his mouth, like he has some stupid grin on his face.
I glare at him. "What the hell are you doing here? It was your idea to stay away from me. You don't like me, remember?" I don't even back down.
He huffs and goes behind a tree. I see his form disappear and I can hear bones cracking. "I didn't say that."
"Fuck you. I have had enough of male bullshit to last me a lifetime. Just go back to your family and stew in their bullshit. Yeah, cause that is bullshit too. I swear I am surrounded by it."
"Cass, I'm sorry."
I pause. "How do you know my name?" My voice is softer. I don't understand it.
"It doesn't matter. I just do. Can we just talk? Like we used to."
I sigh, closing my eyes trying to figure out what to do. I want to talk to him. But the hurt is so much. I can't let him in and then have this happen again. "I can't do this. I can't let you hurt me anymore. That's what will happen."
"Cass, I'm not going to hurt you again. I just want to talk. I promise I won't touch you again. I know I crossed lines."
"The point is Gray. For some messed up reason, I wanted you to touch me. I felt something for you, then you just threw me to the side like I was nothing. That's what scares me the most. Now Justin makes me feel the same way. I know it's going to happen again. Then you want to breeze back in and bring everything back up. I just can't."
"Cass. Please. Just talk to me. I'm sorry. I was stupid. I thought I could keep myself back and I was only hurting my own feelings. I didn't think you had any feelings for me. I know I screwed up. I can't bear the thought of the pain that I put you through. Just know that I felt all the same pain being away from you. More, because I saw you getting comfort from Trey. I saw the way you were with him."
"Only because I wished it was you." I screamed.
"Me too." I can hear the sorrow in his voice. I want to forgive him and go right back to the way that things were. I just can't.
"Fine, you want to talk. I want to do it face to face. If you can't do that, then forget it."
"I told you why I don't want to do that."
I scoff. "Do you really think that matters anymore? If you really care about me the way that I care about you, then it isn't going to matter if I see you now or later. So just fucking do it, or leave."
I hear him sigh. Then a small chuckle comes out. "You know I am surprised that you haven't figured it out yet. Maybe my step-dad is right. Two weeks isn't that long. Besides, I am a little naked at the moment."
"Find a low bush. I said I only need to see your face. If you can't do that then leave."
"I'll leave. Not because I want to. I just can't taint your choice. I think I may have screwed up everything already. You will probably reject me once you see my face anyway, if I am your mate then I expect it. I have hurt you so much." I can feel the tears on my own face. He doesn't want to show me his face. It's another game. I can hear his bones crack, I know he is leaving me now.
His massive wolf form comes out from behind the tree. He watches me. I don't even care about my tears anymore. I scream in frustration. "Then get out of here. Stay the hell away from me. Stop looking at me like that. It's not like you actually fucking care. Get." He flinches at my last words. But he doesn't move. I pick up a stick and throw it at him. "I said get out of here." He whimpers looking at me, still not moving.
I throw my hands up in frustration and turn the opposite way, running away from him. I don't want his pity. I just want to be left alone. Only now do I realize that wearing a dress and doing this is fucking stupid. It keeps hanging up on things and fucking catching on bushes. I feel like Snow White in that movie. I'm getting more angry at myself than anyone else.