Chapter 46

“May I buy your drink, miss?” He didn’t move his beer, or even shift his posture too much; she was only two stools away, close enough to hear him without feeling the pressure of him coming too close.

“Proper grammar,” she noted, meeting his eyes boldly. “An intrepid beginning.”

“Is that a yes?” Chandler sighed. Gods, sometimes he hated women; was nothing ever cut and dried with them? Everything was some verbal sparring match, some game where he was expected to be witty, charming, psychic, and unexpected, without being quite too much unexpected. And the penalties for losing were always the same.

“It’s not yet a no. Why do you wish to do so?” She gestured to the stool next to her with one hand, holding her drink up to admire it with the other.

That was the question. The wrong answer meant crash and burn. The right answer…well, he’d just have to see if he could come up with that. “Mostly? Because I like your shoes.”

She laughed, kicking out one foot to display her footwear. “Aren’t they adorable? I shouldn’t have; however, I couldn’t resist.”

Danny threw his towel over his shoulder. “That’s my cue to wander off.”

“Hi,” Chandler said. “I’m Chandler. Holding out for proper English? Are you a teacher or something?”

“She’s ‘or something’, all right,” Danny called over his shoulder.

“Shut up, Daniel,” she murmured. “I’m hunting.”

Chandler’s heart skipped, then drummed a staccato line. That sounded promising. She turned her ladybug eyes on him; they were tree-bark brown with gold flecks.

“I’m Noel,” she said.

A thousand puns and jokes leapt immediately to mind, and he bit down on all of them. It was unlikely that he could make a fresh one, and no one ever appreciated those sorts of things anyway. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” That was safe enough.

Noel raised an eyebrow. “Very good. I admire your restraint. You said, earlier…it was ‘mostly.’ Now, adorable as my shoes are, I have to say that if you’re after a cheap one-night stand, please go elsewhere. You seem interesting enough, and I’m certainly not adverse, but I have strict requirements, and I’d rather you not waste your money if you’re not qualified for the position.”

“Lucid’s not cheap,” Danny chipped in from over his shoulder. “So it would be an expensive one-night stand.”

“Not helping me here, bro,” Chandler muttered.

Noel laughed. It wasn’t a titter, a giggle, or one of those fake chortles that he was used to hearing from women in bars. It was an absolutely delighted guffaw, full on belly laugh that shook her whole body in delightful ways and was infectious. He couldn’t help answering it. He blushed, embarrassed, felt more embarrassed for having blushed, and still couldn’t help laughing.

“Oh, that was wonderful,” she said, blotting carefully at the corners of her eyes with a napkin, leaving small red smudges behind. “What do you think, Danny? Is he worthy?”

Oh, God. He finished the rest of his beer.

“He drinks good beer,” Danny said, “even when his friends aren’t here, so he actually likes it. He’s not just showing off his hefty paycheck or his fancy palate. He plays darts a few times a month. In fact, I was expecting his crew in tonight. Responsible, too. I’ve never had to take his keys. And he remembers to tip.”

Chandler stared at the bartender. Really? He’d noticed that much? Suddenly Chandler felt about eight years old, being scolded for forgetting to write a thank you note, or for licking the butter knife, or any of the dozens of faux pas he’d committed in front of his grandmother. He felt the urge, however briefly, to just say never mind, pay for his beer and leave.

If he did that, though, it was doubtful he’d ever be back. Not after having such a personal witness. Oh, well. He took a deep breath, met her cool, curious gaze. If he was going down, it’d be spectacular, and in flames.

“So, what qualifications are you looking for?”

Danny actually moved away this time. He went down to the far end of the bar, polished a few more glasses, and turned his attention toward the television that was playing DVR’d European football.

She leaned in close and spoke into Chandler’s ear, her breath tingling against his hair, raising goose flesh along the back of his neck. The smell of her perfume tickled his nose.

“I want a one-night stand that’s worth more than the twenty-two dollars it will cost you to buy me a drink. I want to enjoy it. I want a man who knows his way around a woman’s body, and is willing to listen to direction. I want a man who takes just as much pleasure in a well-satisfied lover as he does in his own enjoyment. I want a man who will take his time, who wants to savor the perfection of the night, and who doesn’t forget that the mind is the pinnacle of sexual desire.”

Chandler shivered and grew hard, just listening to her rich, matter-of-fact voice.