"Oh gosh!" I squirmed in my seat and clutched Harper's arm. Jake leaned forward in his seat and smiled from the other side of her. He hadn't stopped smiling since he got home from tryouts. "Youngest on the team, hmm?" Harper teased and patted his hand. "Hope that means you won't be the most hazed tonight." He lifted his eyes to our driver, one of the team's starters. "Probably will be." Music beats filled my ears as Jake opened the door and helped Harper, then me out. I smoothed my damp hands over my skirt, took a deep breath, and followed them into whoever's house this was. No more than four steps in, I saw him. With one look, he sucked the breath from my lungs. Soft brown eyes drew me like ants to a sugar cube. The thrummed bass beats were drowned out by the ones in my chest. I stood no chance and melted on the spot under his smoldering gaze. Burning eyes saw me from across the room and seconds later he was near me. Two hours of prep tonight with Harper? Totally worth it. "Hey…" His tongue dragged over his lower lip as he took an appreciative look. The instant flash of attraction in those warm brown eyes was mutual, at least based on how my heart felt like it wanted to burst through my chest. "Hi." I shook his extended hand, hoping my knees didn't knock together. Wherever he looked, my body tingled as if his fingers caressed my skin. He was hot from a distance but up close? The details were overwhelming. Intense gaze, wide smile, straight teeth, broad shoulders, strong jaw, corded neck muscles, styled sandy brown hair, warm brown eyes so deep that I drowned myself in them – my eyes didn't know where to land. He was a football player for sure. Confidence oozed from his tall frame and chiseled physique. But he wasn't just a football player, he was the football player. Ryder Stevens was the starting quarterback and captain of the team. The most popular kid in our school, Ryder could've been with anyone. His arm flung across my shoulders and he led me inside. Guess tonight he chose me. Me, Eleanor Harrison, a freshman nobody. My heart thumped faster than the music beats in my chest. The smirks from other players and glares from girls as the crowd parted for him were even better. "Hey," his smooth, baritone voice washed over my ear with his warm breath, both of which sent chills down my spine. "I'm Ryder." "I know." I returned his smile as his large, calloused hand wrapped around mine. "Ellie." Up close, his commanding presence was overwhelming. My knees swayed to their own song and my breaths shortened. His attention was addictive, and that night it was mine. I was so lucky; the hottest, playboy football player was into me. Me. He was everything that the rumors claimed he was - sweet, attentive, and wanted to know everything about me. Not that I had much to tell him, but he absorbed all of my filler babble. And then… he kissed me. My first kiss was perfect. The soft, feathered sensations of his lips on mine made my heart flip, my eyes flutter, and my body quake. I couldn't believe it. Ryder Stevens, the senior quarterback on Jake's new team, kissed me! I wanted to fly out of my skin and soar into the heavens. In between soft promises and reassurances of his affection, Ryder kissed me with a feathered touch of his lips until mine were numb and tingly. He stopped for a smoke break, giving me time to rub my swollen lips. "Wow." Harper's eyes sparkled at me. "Guess you caught his attention." "I know," I whispered and squeezed her elbows. "Ellie." Ryder leaned down and smashed his lips hard against mine. He picked up like he never left, which felt amazing except now he smelled and tasted of mint-coated menthol. He led me up to, well, here. I wasn't sure how we got inside some abandoned bedroom, but we couldn't stay much longer. Not without regrets. No matter how attracted I was to him, we had to stop. "Ellie, you're so hot." A few breaths fanned over my cheeks, and his deep voice slurred as if these words were a compliment. His rough and calloused hands were sandpaper on my skin. He ran them up my bare arms, over my shoulders, and up the sides of my neck until his long fingers rested on my jawline. His fingers cupped my warm cheeks with a hard grasp, his brown eyes clouding and his pupils rounding. "Ryder." I leaned back when his hands lowered, grabbed my waist, and pulled my hips closer to his pelvis. My heart plummeted in an invisible rush, and I palmed his chest. "I'm not ready for this." "Trust me, babe. You'll love it." He bent down, and almost bent me over backward with a rough kiss. Our position no longer felt as exciting as when making out on the stairs. He tasted like a combination of cheap, watered-down beer and an ashtray. His tongue stabbed the roof of my mouth. I almost gagged at his invasion and each sharp drag of his tongue over mine. Tears pricked the corners of my eyes. What was he doing? A definite shift happened, but to what? Uncertainty pooled in my stomach, racing my pulse up into my ears. I didn't know this version of Ryder, what this was between us, but I didn't like either. He was rougher and more insistent. Was he bored with me already? "Please. I want to do this slowly." I pulled back, then kissed him. "Slowly." "Slowly…" That deep voice echoed the unfamiliar word. His hands grabbed the back of my head and he kissed me again. He already tugged off his T-shirt; his toned, chiseled muscles tensed under his smooth, hot skin. With one shift of his hips, a wall of chest muscles pressed into me. Meek in comparison, my body flinched under the intensity shift in his movements. Gone were the delicate holds and strokes, replaced with grabs and pinches. "Ellie… you did this." He pointed at the hardness in his jeans. With a groan, his hips bucked up, and pressed his clothed dick into my palm. "So, you need to fix it." "I…" I swallowed the dryness coating my tongue. This was the first time I touched someone like this. It felt foreign and unfamiliar. I didn't like it and tugged my hand, but his fingers pinched my wrist in place. "I can't." "You can. Or I can ruin your next four years here at Santa Cruz. Or maybe Jake's?" He smirked when my mouth gaped. Under his tight grasp, the hairs on my forearm pricked up. He grew harder the more his hips bucked into my hand. The roughness of his jeans rubbed warm friction into the soft flesh of my palm. "You don't want the whole school hearing that you're nothing but a tease. Or find out that your pathetic loser brother's now benched to the JV practice team, do you?" Jake! He could help. Where was he? The last I saw of Jake was when two varsity players dragged him into the kitchen with fistfuls of beer cans and a funnel. My mouth was rendered inoperable and my brain froze on overdrive. I had no answer because I had no words. I didn't know what this situation was anymore, but it was anything but love. Where was the guy who tenderly held me on the stairs? Who kissed me sweetly, as if I was the most important person in the world? Who looked at me with warmth, not darkness in his eyes? "I'm not having sex with you, Ryder," I whispered. My blood chilled and rushed faster through my veins. Disgust stirred inside me and I removed my hand from his crotch. I didn't want to touch him there under coercion, not for the first time. My first time was supposed to be special, with angels singing and doves flying out of my vagina. Or, at the least, I wanted to be loved. Shouldn't I feel cherished, not manhandled like a lion eating a steak? Whatever this was, I felt anything but special. Forced and dirty maybe, but not special. My dry lips parted and my voice came out soft and broken. "Th-That's not what I want." With a tight clench in my hips, he picked me up as if I was weightless. With a grunt, he dropped me on the bed. My mouth dropped open but not even a squeak came out. Softness pressed into my lower back, a fluffy, navy blue comforter, but I was anything but comfortable. I pushed his hard shoulder and tried to slide up onto the bed. His large hands shackled my wrists, pinching the skin as he raised my arms until my upper arms pressed into my ears.