Chapter 21 Say It Now

When Elesa arrived at the former place where the plan took place, she’s catching her breath while looking around… and she was really thankful because…

"It's good that you haven't left yet," Elesa said.

The one she was speaking to stood from the bench and just looked at her, without a word that came out of his mouth.

“But why did you think of staying? I didn't stop you a while ago if you want to leave,” Elesa added as she approached the prince.

Jethro looked away from her first. “I just thought about what you said earlier, and I think you are right. This needs to be fixed…” Jethro answered.

"…but…" he added. "…I don't know what I'm going to do now—"

"That's why Pearce and I are here, isn't it?" Elesa suddenly replied so Jethro stopped and looked at the person he’s talking to.

"In case you still don’t realize, Pearce and I are here to help so that you and Yani can get back together," Elesa added and she also looked in the other direction. "It just didn't happen as we expected… but hopefully…" and also looked back at him. “…I hope you think that Pearce doesn’t intend to hurt you and Yani so he’s doing this. All I know is, this is really part of the process for you to get along, but since Yani's arrival was really wrong earlier, she got the wrong interpretation on what Pearce intended.”

As much as she said, Jethro just listened to her and somehow, he agreed with what she said.

"Now, Pearce needs to be alone first and we will just respect that so I will help you first," Elesa concluded.

Jethro looked down. "But what if… she won't listen—"

"Op, op, op," Elesa stopped Jethro. “Don’t think bad thoughts. You have not even approached her yet, and you are already being pessimistic. Just now, the next thing in the plan is that you should approach her and talk to her because that is all we can do now.”

Jethro heard what Elesa said but he's still thinking twice… which Elesa saw on his face. Because of that, Elesa let out a sigh.

"What, you still think it's not good to talk to her now?" Elesa asked.

Jethro didn’t speak, but he gently nodded his head as his answer. Elesa sighed again and paused. She thought first because she also started to worry that something bad might happen or maybe if they did talk, Yani might not really listen to him... so…

Elesa looked at the prince who was also looking back at her, waiting for her response when…

Ting! Light Bulb!

“Aha! Genius Elesa,” Elesa exclaimed to Jethro's surprise while Elesa gave the prince a smirk.

"I have a bright idea."

Hik… sob, sob, sob… hik…

The princess sobbed as she sat on the oval bench in the Main Cabin. Of all the places she could go, this was the first place that entered her mind. Even if someone passes by the hallway that enters here, no one will know and this is the place that people don’t go to very much despite its size. When she goes to her office, many people will probably come and see her like that… besides she can't work well now until she fixes this first… but most of all…

The way she feels now. She doesn't know anymore. She no longer knows how she should feel right now. She’s so confused that even though he had only two choices, her head aches because she could not choose one.

If she chooses one, it might lead to the wrong destination. It will be even more awkward between them… but if the other one… she may get rejected again. It’s so painful because how many times has it been? How many times has she felt like his feelings were really gone? Even though she heard what he was saying a while ago, she knew in herself that she didn't know how she would feel. Of course, she needs to know that so she needs to approach him to finish this… but she doesn't have the strength. She doesn’t have the strength to approach and talk to him. She felt she would just tremble in front of him and she might not even be able to say everything she wanted to say.

She just covered her face and even started massaging her head due to the pain. She started to become aware that she's over thinking things again so… she breathed in… and breathed out. Somehow, she felt light… but now… she was shocked knowing the fact that her tears stopped flowing. She knew she wanted to release more so why?

…maybe because she has become numb to her feelings and she just doesn’t want to think anymore so that her head doesn't hurt anymore, and also her heart...

She started to look around her… around the empty, large oval. It was very quiet and you will not see anyone in the area. There are other animals around… but mostly it’s just birds. Some birds approached her and she didn;t know if they were looking for food or what but to see those birds, somehow she felt better… but when she tried to touch one… only one…

…its neighbors began to fly away. She was really surprised because since a group of those birds flew, almost every bird inside the oval, not even one, left.

When that simple incident happened, Yani didn’t realize that her tears started to flow again.

She just realized that her thoughts and feelings now are as big as the place she is now. The only bad thing about that, is that it's so big, she felt so small… that feeling that you are alone? That feeling that you can't solve your problem on your own? She knows that… she really knows that… so she wishes…

She asked the Lord. Lord, I hope at least one of the princesses or even the princes comes here so she could talk to one of them. Just one Lord, it’s not that much…

She closed her eyes. Just one…

Hearing some footsteps, Yani was shocked in no time and immediately thanked the Lord for fulfilling her request. She even smiled and immediately turned her head to the one walking to her and…

…annoying because the smile on her lips gradually disappeared.

That one person walking towards her is the person she once told herself that she doesn’t have the strength to talk to now but… he’s the one he gave you to talk to.

He stopped a few meters away from her and they even stared at each other.

But after how long they did that, Yani immediately felt tears coming out that she can’t release earlier so she immediately averted her eyes just so he could not see it.

Why him Lord? I said the other prince or princess… but why him?

Inside her, she was struck out of nowhere because she realized something as if someone answered her question. She found out what she asked for earlier…

Lord, I hope at least one of the princesses or maybe princes came here so she could talk to one of them…

He's a prince, isn't he? So there, he’s the one that was given to her. She wants to go back to her request, if only she could but…

When Jethro sat in the same row to where she was sitting but about a meter away from her, there Yani realized that she had no other choice. He is what the Lord has given her.

She knows he has a reason… but Yani is blind and deaf now because what’s in her mind now, of all the people here, he is the one she doesn’t want to talk to and see now.

…

Here comes silence. Yani used to be used to these silences and sometimes, she felt to herself as if they were 'talking' through that silence… but now…

Her sobbing got louder so that was the only noise at the moment… but now Yani felt again that she wanted to get out of this silence. Even though the Lord gave him to her to 'talk' supposedly, she still wanted to leave. She wants to escape her current situation.

Lord must know that, so why is he still here? Yani just said to herself…

If he is not going to leave, I will leave—

"Sorry."

That thought was stopped by that one word. It was as if Yani's thoughts suddenly disappeared now when she heard that with her companion. He broke the silence with one word.

"I'm sorry Yani," Jethro continued. "I'm sorry for all the days I hurted you.”

He's really good… he's great because after he said that, Yani felt like something really broke. He did not know and could not determine what it was… and one more thing, he was great because he seemed to know what Yani wanted to hear because when she heard that, it was as if she lost the weight she was feeling and it came out of her eyes in no time. She cried for hours.

Jethro was aware of that but he could not determine why she was crying. He even waited for her to settle down… before he asked again.

"How about you, you want to say something?"

When he asked that, Yani was struck… but she did not know why...

Because she knew she had a lot to say but the thing is, she didn’t know where to start.

If she used to be confused, she is even more confused now because those questions still dominate… because she still doesn’t know how she really feels for him and she still cannot choose…

…so it is good that the silence has done something now because it hid that confusion she has that developed between them after that.

But Jethro broke it again when he let out a sigh, stood up and walked away from his place… which surprised Yani. She watched him walk because she wanted to call him back but… why did it dominate again that this was better? That she better be alone now?

Maybe. Maybe he also realized that she needed to be alone first…

“Yani…”

Yani was surprised and looked where he was. She thought… she thought he left but actually, he’s only in the lowest row of bleachers and he was only a few meters away from her where she could see him, but at the same time…

He controlled the ice from his two hands and showed his ice guitar, at once looking back at Yani.

"…listen," Jethro sincerely said.

Music Now Playing: Say it Now by We the Kings.

He started playing the intro while Yani was dumbfounded by him.

“Tired eyes just lay your head on me, and I'll be here until you fall asleep. The storm is getting closer, I won't leave. All the words I sing are whispers in your dreams…”

“When I said I wanted it all, I wanted it all, it hurts more than ever, I won't give up now. And all that you are, is all that I need. I promised forever…”

“So tell me it hurts, tell me it burns, tell me it's love and that you're ready to fall… into my arms or into the ground, it's lost or it's found, whatever you need to say… say it now…”

He just finished until the chorus, Yani was still dumbfounded and could not speak. Maybe because of the song because she’s gradually getting what he wants to say.

“Clouds are clearing up. I see the stars, like underneath your pain I see your heart. Laying hand and hand beneath the sky, forget the world, it's only you and I…”

“When we said we wanted it all, we wanted it all, it hurts more than ever, we can't give up now. And all that we are, is all that we need, we promised forever…”

“So tell me it hurts, tell me it burns, tell me it's love and that you're ready to fall… into my arms or into the ground, it's lost or it's found, whatever you need to say… say it now…”

And at this part…

“Say it, tell me that you love me, say you want to leave me, tell me that you need me. Say it like you mean it, you know that I can take it, you that it won't break me. I just wanna know…”

…she got it.

“So tell me it hurts, tell me it burns, tell me it's love and that you're ready to fall… into my arms or into the ground, it's lost or it's found, whatever you need to say… say it now…”

“Say it now. Say it now… ooohhh… wooaah…”

“Say it nooow… Say It Now.”

He was looking at his guitar first, but after he sang the song… he looked straight at Yani… and full of sincerity in his face he said,

“Please just say how you feel now. If there is more or no more, or if you think I will be hurt, it 's okay with me as long as you just say it… ”

"…because the important thing is that you will feel light."

Because of those words… those comforting words that came out of his mouth and the song that he sung, Yani suddenly stood up at her place,

"I MISSED YOU!" she shouted while tears were falling down her cheeks which also surprised Jethro.

"Even though you are always there, I don’t know why but I really missed you," she sobbed while still wiping her tears. “I miss all the days we are always together and talking… I miss the times when you show in your simple actions that you really care about the people around you the reason I like you… that's why I always read my journal because those are the only memories I have since you forgot everything…”

Jethro approached her and again,

"I'm sorry Yani," you can hear the sadness in Jethro's voice. "I hope you forgive me."

And for the first time in a while, Yani was able to smile again, it wasn’t forced or a 'weak smile'. It was a sincere smile that she returned to him.

"It's not your fault Jethro," Yani said. “My tears now are because of joy. My joy is that you came back,” and the joy can really be seen all over her face, her lips and her eyes.

Jethro also smiled when he heard that and opened his arms wide open asking for a hug… and when Yani gave back that hug without thinking twice, they both knew…

…they finally solved the problem and they thank the Lord for that.

If you didn't know, of course the person that suggested this plan is watching from the air while riding on an electric platform, not just to gossip, but just to make sure that everything will be fine… and here Elesa can really say that the plan is a success.

But she just wished now… she hoped the mastermind of this plan really sees it. Elesa wished she could see the look of that guy because they succeeded… or even if it was not like that, she hopes when she told him this success, she hopes he is also happy while Elesa watches the two hug.

She just let out a sigh and thought to leave the scene, not only to leave the two to have a 'moment'  for each other, but she would go to him as well. Earlier, before she went straight to see this…

…Elesa first went to his room and spoke from the closed door of his room and said what they would do next. She expected that he would not really talk or keep quiet across the door because Elesa knew that was her only purpose… just so she could tell him what was next in the plan so she left immediately. She didn't even expect that guy to come out of his room… but again, that's what she thought.

She was close to the exit of the oval, when she found something. Surprised, she stopped and hid somewhere for a while.

She was really shocked he was there. Shouldn't she be happy… that he is here now? Did he see the two finally get back together? But Elesa really is asking herself now… why is she hiding from him?

"Just a moment Jethro," said Yani who heard and got the attention of the hiding Elesa. “If it's okay with you, I think I need to talk to Pearce now. I did something wrong to him.”

Jethro smiled at her. "I understand, my love."

Yani was a little surprised at first when she heard what he said and she smiled back and hurried away as well. Maybe because of the amount of things that happened, because of her haste and the pity she felt now, she was already at the oval exit… and passed by through the person leaning against the wall of that exit so—

"Are you looking for me?"

Yani stopped for a moment when that person just spoke. For a while, it felt like she was stuck at her place and she didn't seem to want to look back at the speaker because she had determined who he was in his voice. It was good that she also moved her head to turn to the speaker… who stood up straight from leaning against the wall and faced the princess. When he did that, Yani also faced him.

There was only silence between them. They stared at each other first, eye to eye. We can't figure out if it's just like everyone else… that if they are really talking about what they are thinking... but it also broke when Pearce spoke.

"What do you need from me, princess?"

He asked. He asked, but even though Yani wanted to say something, she didn’t know what to say. Pearce saw that so,

“Do you still remember the bet? The bet that you did not agree to?” Pearce continued. He didn’t know if Yani would remain silent so he continued.

“One month princess. One month… what date is it now?” he continued and now, Yani wants to speak but, Pearce didn’t let her. "Today is the 30th of August, in case you don’t know."

"The question is, why don’t I belong in this place since I came here?"

Now, Yani knew she couldn't really answer that because she also didn't know the answer so she let Pearce speak. He let out a sigh first and,

"I don’t know if I will call it a 'curse' but in the twenty-one years I have lived in this world, in every place I have been, I don’t know why but the situations I help always end in bad circumstances, princess…”

"Always. I always knew in myself that my only intention was really to help, but that is not what is happening,” he started to bow his head. “If you are wondering about my numb dealings, this is the only way I can think of so that I don’t immerse myself in other people's problems, but even so, I still can’t help myself in helping in no time… so I evaluated it as a ‘curse’, something I can't get rid of myself.”

Pearce looked at Yani, his face full of seriousness. “I threatened you at first, but you did not believe it… and did you know at that time, you also made me believe. You convinced me that it might be reversed or that this curse could be removed... but a curse is a curse, and I now believe that it cannot be removed.”

Just to hear that explanation, Yani is really speechless. She knows how he feels now. She knows the feeling that you don’t belong and the feeling that you are living with a curse… but the situation she is hearing now is different. It’s so heavy and weird that sometimes you don’t hear that kind of problem, so how can you not fall silent? He’s right. It seems to be a problem with no solution. It’s painful, even though she is not in his situation, she still feels the weight and pain.

"Now you know about that…" Pearce began, getting Yani's attention in no time. "I don’t know if you thought this, but in case our bet continues, I told you, I will win… because I know what I am saying."

To hear that, Yani returned to the truth and even that was all he said… it was good that she was able to speak as well.

“I understand what you said, Pearce. I remember that conversation and now, it is clear to me why you are so desperate to leave this nation…” she paused. “But…”

Yani looked intently at him. “…just in case I did agree to that bet, I know your bet is that I will evict you from this nation, so you said you won… but you have no evidence, Pearce. I didn’t say that I wanted you to leave— “

"No need for that, princess…" Pearce replied that stopped Yani.

The seriousness on his face was still not removed. “…because from the beginning when the metal prince was angry with me for destroying his helicopter, and every day I see the destruction of the relationships of each prince and princess, I hope they are enough proof or maybe evidence for you.”

Yani was surprised when she heard Pearce's other reason that made her speechless again. Pearce started walking away. He passed by Yani, but he also stopped next to her.

"And one more thing…" Pearce whispered to her. "…you already said everything when you just gave me your angry look."

It left Yani so shocked to hear that whisper from him while Pearce continued to walk away.

Pearce is not an ice man but when he just whispered to her, Yani felt as if ice came out of his mouth and it entered from her ear straight all over her body because her body was as stiff as ice.

She didn't even know why but she also started to cry. She felt she's a bad person because she didn’t know that he was going through that but because of her anger that she hurted him in no time.

Fortunately, she was able to raise her head as her tears flowed so Jethro saw her standing just a few meters away from him. To see that, Jethro didn’t hesitate to approach her and hug her.

"What do you think Jethro…" Yani sobbed. “…am I really a bad person that I was able to do that to Pearce? Do I still deserve—“

"Shhh," Jethro stopped him. "Don’t say that."

"But—"

"Don't think you're a bad person just because of what happened," Jethro stopped her. “We are just people who are hurting so Pearce said that. This will not last long. Pearce will stay here in this nation no matter what happens.”

To hear those words from Jethro, somehow, Yani felt relieved.

Jethro tightened his hug. "I'm sorry if my body is cold, but I hope it is enough to keep you warm," he said.

Yani just returned his hug to say that it's okay… in fact, it's the best thing she needed right now so she's really grateful that he's back.

To witness that scene behind walls, Elesa could not move in her place after that. She was not the target but why did she feel she was attacked? Why does she seem to want to cry too? Why did she seem hurt when she heard that from Pearce? Why is it that even though she is not in Pearce's situation, she also feels the pain?

It’s painful… it’s painful right in the chest. Elesa didn’t think that this was what their visitor was going through. She knew she once said that she could read that guy, but when she heard all that, she didn’t think he was carrying such a heavy burden. She started to be guilty because of all those times…

All those times she was teasing that guy, even the simple one that he can get quickly lost from their nation, she was guilty she mocked him like that. She also realized that there was a reason why he didn't have a sense of direction…

…is he like that because he feels he is always lost?

To realize this thought, Elesa immediately wiped her eyes to stop the tears that were escaping her eyes and immediately left her place… to do something.

Pearce is already in his room, and if you think he is just lying on his bed now, that is not what he is doing now. He doesn't have a bag or suitcase in his room so how can he pack?

Yes, no one spoke directly to him but he knew in himself that he needed to leave this nation. If someone tried to stop him, now his mind is fully decided. Even if other people in this nation will still find a way to convince him to stay here… he needs to be numb again. He had to be numb to everything they had to say.

If he can't pack, what is he doing?

Well, right now he is looking around his room now. Even though he only had a series of bad events during the few days he lived here, he knew that sometimes, he also felt the word 'home'… the feeling that he was included.

He just doesn't know if it's because of his room now or what happened and when it happened but he knows this nation will be imprinted on his brain… maybe not just on his brain…

He opened the closet of the table in the bedroom and took what he had been hiding there for a long time… his 'lifesaver' every time he’s lost in this place... his map, I mean the map given to him. He really wanted to ask a request that if he’s expelled from this nation, he would be able to bring even this simple thing with him. We can't call it a souvenir because he got something when he bought a chisel in the Earth Cabin… but it's more than enough.

Since that's all he thought he could bring when he will leave this place… he thought he gave one last look at the room for one last time, and a smile even formed on his lips while doing so… before he turned around and opened the door… while leaving the keys on the door knob.

When he finally closed the door, he thought all he could think about was how he could leave the nation, but when something appeared in front of him when he got out of his room… he was also stunned and stared at the person in front of him.

There was again, that silence between them first, sharing stares from eye to eye. But that stare was broken when Pearce's gaze landed on the object next to the princess in front him. He really wonders why she has a suitcase next to her?

And even so, the princess still doesn't speak, which makes Pearce wonder more. Should he be the one to ask?

"What do you need?" Pearce just asked.

Elesa looked away from him first before she talked.

"Do you still remember our bet?" Elesa asked back, which surprised Pearce.

He was really shocked because when the princess just said that, it seemed like he lost the idea of leaving this nation in no time… and he didn’t even know why. He could not speak when she asked back… but Elesa continued.

“I know you still remember. If you really remember yours and Yani's, you should also remember ours."

Pearce looked away from her. He knew he only remembered that when she asked about it but she was right. If his mind was not really confused now, he would really remember about that.

"So let me just refresh your mind," said Elesa. "My bet is that Yani will kick you out of here and since you know that I am a great ‘gossiper’, you will not be surprised now if I heard your conversation with Yani earlier… and it looks like I won Pearce."

Pearce looked back at her when she just said that.

"And because I won…" Elesa continued while giving Pearce a smile back. "…I will go with you away from this nation."

He knew about that… and he knew she would say that. But during those times, when they were making that bet, he could not speak because he also thought this woman was joking because first of all,

"Didn't you think in your brain that you’re a princess of this nation?" Pearce replied back. "What about your cabin—"

"I know that, Pearce," Elesa replied immediately. “For your information, I am not stupid as you think… but as far as I know, a promise is a promise and a bet is a bet. And one more thing, I know what I bet those days…” she returned him a grin. “…and I never go back on my word.”

Pearce didn’t speak back… but a thought came to his mind. He knew that this nation would really imprint on his brain because he thought it was because of all that had happened to him. If he thinks about it, only bad things will come out of his mind when he remembers this nation but…

He looked at her. He started to realize that because of this girl right in front of him, somehow despite those bad happenings,

Surprising because out of the blue really…

He suddenly smiled at Elesa. "You really are persistent," he said.

…despite those bad happenings, he was still able to smile… because of this girl. Maybe this nation will not only imprint on his brain, maybe on his heart as well.

Now, Elesa was completely silenced when she witnessed that. She felt her blood rise on her face again so she knew she’s blushing now. She immediately looks away from him. Why is he suddenly smiling? This is one of the reasons this guy is really good at breaking her guard down.

But despite this happening, Pearce was suddenly surprised.

“Why is that your bet by the way? Is it because you know anything about my curse?”

Elesa looked at him not long after she heard that. She could not speak.

She thought, silence will only be between them after that… but she was saved when someone entered their conversation.

"Pearce," she called that caught the attention of the two. Pearce was immediately surprised when he found out who it was.

Yani is looking back at him, full of seriousness in her face.

“Regarding your problem, I just want to let you know that the decision of you leaving this nation is not only mine to make. I'm not the only one who makes all the decisions here.”

When Yani just spoke English to him, if there was one thing Pearce learned from her being the princess of this nation, is that she's really serious and formal if she speaks English…

…and Pearce respects that, so he already knows what will happen next.