Chapter 8 Alpha’s Crack
My fingers clutched onto the marble railing until I felt the stone graze my skin. I should have turned around. I should have walked back to my next lecture and forget that Yvonne ever existed.
But I stayed. Frozen to the spot, watching the scene unfold in front of me. As I watched her cry, my heart broke at the sight but I couldn’t go to her, I can’t.
Then, he walked up to her. And Yvonne was smiling back at him.
“It meant nothing,” I whispered to the empty hallway but the words tasted like bile in my mouth.
If it really meant nothing, why did my chest feel like it was being pressed by a hydraulic? If it meant nothing, why did I want to jump over this railing to tear his hand from hers?
I had told her I was drunk, treated the kiss like a drunken mistake I regretted with all my being.
I told her I felt obligated.
As I watched Ryan lead her towards the Arts wings, his hand on her back made my jaw tightened. But as they disappeared into the double doors, a realization struck me. I hadn’t pushed her away to protect the family, I had pushed her away because I was terrified of myself.
But now, seeing her with someone else who was offering the comfort I had denied her made me lose my goddamn mind.
My phone pings with an alarm jolting me out of my thoughts.
It was practice time.
I walked towards the locker room feeling the need to hit something, to breathe, just to get that scene out of my head.
The stench smell of sweat mixed with different male cologne hit my nose the moment I stepped into the room, the boys laughing and discussing amongst themselves. I grabbed the subject immediately, the gala and girls.
Luckily, they avoided me the moment they saw my face. We wore our gears and filed out onto the ice.
…
The ice was my home. The only place I could be a savage beast, a place I felt peace uniting with my inner demons. I skated harder, blades cutting sharp lines across the rink as the puck slid smoothly across the ice.
The familiar sound of sticks clashing and skates scraping the ice usually helped calm my chaotic mind. But this time, it wasn’t working.
I kept seeing her face anytime I passed the puck to my teammates. No matter how fast I moved trying to clear her image from my head, it came back. The kiss. Her eyes and her lips when she spoke.
What was happening to me? Why was I thinking about her? Jeez, this was unnecessary!
I slammed the puck into the net too hard due to my frustration causing concerned gazes being sent my way. I spotted Ryan walking in and I almost lost it.
“Barth, I think you need to get laid. The frustration emanating from you stinks!” Tennis teased and the other teammates burst into laughter earning a glare from me.
Coach’s whistle shrieked, earning silence almost immediately.
“Barth, focus! This is a training ground not your daydreaming bed. Gather around boys,” he clapped.
We all skated towards him. Coach Damien stared at each one of us with eyes filled with admiration but also stern and serious.
“The weekend game is very important to us. We all know the reputation of the Devil Hawks team, they have never lost a game before but now, we are going to change that record.”
His gaze hardened. “ Tennis, your passes are pathetic, you are handing the puck away like charity. Bills, this isn’t a dance rehearsal, you keep skating wide abandoning the game. Ash, you’re reacting late, you’re letting gaps open like you’re scared of contact and that can give the opposing team an edge over you.”
His eyes scanned the team as they locked eyes on him. “Talent means nothing if you don’t trust each other. Right now all of you are playing scared and sloppy. I’m not raising a team of boys but of men and if fear is what you want to live by, you can find some other team to join.”
Then, his eyes landed on me. “ Barth, you’re the captain and the golden man of this team, I want you focused and ready to defeat the enemy. This match is very important, the scouts will be looking out for you.”
I nodded. I had to make sure I impress the scouts to secure my spot.
“Not only Barth but each one of you has a chance to impress the scouts. So do not let me down or yourselves down and make a pathetic show that will ruin the name of this team and the college. Have I made myself clear?”
“Yes sir,” our voices clear and crisp as it echoed in the arena.
…
One by one we walked into the locker room. I couldn’t help but glance at Ryan as he laughed with the others.
“Ryan, you were late to practice. What’s your excuse?” I asked with a raised brow as I wiped myself with a towel.
Ryan glanced at me, his smiling fading away slowly. “I had an emergency to take care of.”
“By emergency you mean my step sister?” I chuckled darkly making the others coo in a weird way.
Ryan seemed to sense my hostility and said, “It’s not my fault that you don’t know how to show care especially when it matters. You’re cruel to everyone around you and even yourself but you don’t have to project that to others. Your sister needed you but you backed out and walked out on her. Very brotherly of you, Barth.”
His smirk after that statement made me lose my mind instantly and before I knew it, I was pinning him against one of the lockers, my hand on his throat, eyes burning with fury.
Ryan didn't even try to fight back. He just stared at me, a twisted, knowing smile touching his lips even as he struggled for air.
“Go ahead, Barth,” he rasped, his voice barely a whisper. “Break my jaw. Get kicked off the team. It still won't change the fact that you don’t have the capacity to care for others.”
That was the breaking point. I pulled my fist back, ready to ruin his face in one go, when Coach’s voice boomed from the doorway."
"MY OFFICE, NOW!”
The roar of Coach’s Damien’s voice broke the tension. I let go of Ryan, my chest throbbing. The rest of team stared at me like I was maniac, maybe I really am.
I didn’t even look back as I took my gear and walked towards the office, but my mind wasn’t on the repercussion of my actions. It was the way Yvonne had smiled at him.
I pulled out my phone, typing a single message to the one person I knew could make her life a living hell.
“Tan, we need to talk about the dance-off.”