Chapter 43 The Things We Don’t Say
“I… I don’t know,” I stammered, shaking my head.
I wasn’t certain if I was ready to face them at this point. I still needed some time to process everything but I had a lot of questions on my mind.
Why?
Why would my mum do this to us?
Why did she have to ruin things for us?
Barth sighed, walking towards me, placing his cold palms on my trembling shoulders. Beads of water were cascading down his abs and muscles as our eyes locked on the mirror in front of me.
“I keep thinking there’s an explanation to all these,” I said, my voice trembling despite my efforts to steady it. “There has to be one. I still can’t believe she would do something like that.”
Barth didn’t speak up immediately and I was thankful for the silence. When he finally spoke, his voice was calm.
“You went through the documents yourself, Yvonne.”
“Knowing and believing are too different things!” I snapped, turning to face him. “I want to confront them. I want her to look me in the eyes and tell me why!”
“And then what?” Barth asked with a raised brow.
My face twisted into a frown. His question sounded dismissive to me. I wondered how he could act so calmly.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, what do you think happens after that? You confront them, they will probably deny it claiming everything was doctored. I know my father, Yvonne,” he added with a sigh.
I pursed my lips.
“You would lose whatever advantage you have by knowing.”
The word ‘advantage’ felt strange in this context but it made sense in a way that I didn’t want to admit it. Barth was right.
“So what?” I questioned quietly. “We just pretend that nothing ever happened?”
“For now,” Barth replied.
I felt my chest tightened. How can I pretend that I didn’t know my mother had a hand in my father’s death?
“That’s… insane. I don’t think I can do it.”
“It’s not,” he responded, meeting my gaze. “It’s necessary and I know you can do it, Yvonne. I know you can.”
I looked away, shaking my head. Everything in me resisted the idea. My instinct was pushing me to confront them for the truth, for the answers.
But deep down, I understood what Barth was saying. It wasn’t time yet but when will be the time? Tomorrow? Or not?
“I hate this,” I muttered against my breath.
“I know.”
The softness in his voice made me sigh.
“Okay then, we don’t say anything… yet. But I’m not letting this go.”
Barth nodded once. “I wouldn’t expect you to.”
Silence fell upon us as our eyes met once again. The memories of last night flashing in my mind as I felt heat crept up to my cheeks. I didn’t know if what we had done was right or wrong but at this point I didn’t care anymore although there was one question on my mind—where does this lead us to?
This just made things a little more complicated.
“We shouldn’t have… you know,” I said, with a small shrug.
Barth’s brows pinched as something unreadable flickered in his eyes. “Maybe not.”
His agreement stung even more than I had expected. But that was the truth right, we couldn’t afford more conspiracies.
Or was it?
I swallowed hard, forcing myself to nod. “Right.”
An alarm from Barth’s phone on the bed broke through the awkward moment and his jaw tightened.
“I have to go now, Yvonne.”
He was already dressed in minutes while we spoke.
“Now?” I furrowed my brows.
Barth nodded. “I have practice and a game tomorrow so I need to be ready. Would you want me to drop you off?”
Despite everything in me screaming to say yes, I shook my head. We can’t be seen together, not yet.
…
“Bree?”
My mom’s voice came from the living room, gentle and familiar that it made my stomach twist.
I turned around to see her standing there, smiling like she had turned around and betrayed me and my father. Like everything was okay.
‘Breathe, Yvonne,’ I whispered to myself.
“Where did you go this morning?” She asked, walking closer with a worried look in her eyes. “I checked your room and you weren’t there.”
I forced my expression to be as neutral as possible not to give anything away. “I went out for a bit.”
“So early?” She questioned, surprise etched in her voice.
I nodded saying nothing more.
Mom stared at me for a brief moment before her usual smile returned to her smile. “Come sit with us for breakfast. I had the maids whip up your favorite.”
I wanted to say no. I didn’t want to sit with them. The images I had saw in the safe came flooding back but if I refused she would know something was up.
Aurick was already at the table as I followed my mom into the dining hall. His face composed as always as he scrolled through his tablet. He looked up as soon as I took a seat.
“Good morning, Yvonne.”
The normalcy of everything made my skin crawl.
“Morning,” I responded, faking a smile.
As my mom made up small talk, I did my best to keep up not giving anything away. I had barely touched my food, my appetite was long gone. At some point, Aurick’s gaze shifted from my mum to me.
Long and assessing.
My heart thumped within my ribs. Does he know?
I steadied my breathing as I drank from my coffee, avoiding his eyes, my fingers tightening against the handle of the cup. I had made sure to drop everything the way I met it.
Slowly, I dropped my cup on the table, looking up as our eyes met. Something unreadable passed through his eyes and then it was gone, replaced by that same calm composure.
He gave me a small, weary smile which I tried with utmost difficulty to return.
But deep down, one thing became painfully clear—
This was no longer just a secret.
It was a game.
And somehow…
I was already losing.