Chapter 26 Echoes Of Her Past
I stood at the balcony of my room, the night wind flowing with my hair. The loud waves crashed down below as I watched the Hudson River flow down. I sighed, taking in the fresh air into my lungs.
It was 2AM and my mind was in utter chaos. Today was the gala and all New Jersey elite will be gathered to watch us and I was terrified. It wasn’t just about the dance but the proximity. Just thinking of me being near Barth for hours under the gazes of everyone felt to me like walking in a minefield with no sense of direction.
Every time I closed my eyes, I saw the image of my father. Not the happy moments but the moments when he had turned into a monster no one could understand. I could still smell the stench odor of whiskey that would come out of his mouth when he spoke.
I could feel the cold, hand floor of the studio where he would lock me in for hours until mom would beg and plead before he would let me out but not after beating her up first.
I couldn’t breathe. The air suddenly felt suffocating. I walked back into my room and made my way towards the kitchen, hoping a glass of water would help calm my tensed nerves. I suddenly wished Summer was here but she had left few days ago.
As I stepped in, I realized that I wasn’t alone.
Barth was there, hunched over the marble counter. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, just a pair of grey sweatpants. His head was resting in his hands, his phone glowing on the counter beside him.
I froze in the doorway, taking him in under the low lights. He seemed to have a tattoo on his back but I couldn’t make out it’s outline. I have never seen it before.
Was it new?
“Couldn’t sleep?” He spoke, breaking the silence of the night without looking up.
I let out a breath that I didn’t know I was holding. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“I wasn’t sleeping.” He finally looked up, he looked exhausted. He tapped his phone screen and I caught a glimpse of a headline.
Vanguard’s Golden boy: Is the Captaincy at Risk?
“Did something happen?” I asked, stepping further into the room.
Barth let out a short laugh. “Nothing to worry about. Everyone just wants to trend. They all want a piece of me so it’s nothing new.”
He stood up, his well built frame suddenly filled the room making the air feel thick and tensed. “And you, why you still up? Having second thoughts about the performance?”
I walked to the cupboard, steadying my trembling hands as I reached for a glass. “I never thought of it, Barth. I’m only doing this for my mom. Because apparently, my life is now a PR stunt for your father’s company,” I joked.
I felt him move behind me I opened the tap to fill my glass up. He didn’t touch me, but I could feel a force pulling me into him.
“Is that the only reason?” He whispered.
I turned around, taking a sip of my glass under his gaze and I carefully placed it on the counter before looking at him. “I’m terrified, Barth. I haven’t danced in what, years? Not since… before he died.”
The mention of my father made my heart even more heavier. Barth leaned his hip against the counter, his gaze searching mine.
“Tell me. Why did you stop? You were the best in Brooklyn and you even had scouts of your own once.”
I leaned back against the sink, the coldness of the marble tile seeping into my palm. “He wasn’t always like the monster we now know him as. He was sweet, encouraging. He was the one who made me love dancing despite being a terrible dancer himself,” I let out a soft, sad laugh, trying my best to cry in front of Barth.
“But, he suddenly changed. He would drink and would beat up mom, locking me in the attic and sometimes in the studio claiming my rhythm was slow and tasteless. He would sit in front of every recital, not to cheer but to judge. If I missed a single beat, he would spend the car ride home telling me how worthless and useless I was. How I was just a pretty doll with no talent.”
I felt the tears prickling in my eyes as I spoke. “The last time I danced. It was a solo. I was supposed to be the star. I had looked out into the wings and saw him take a sip from an alcohol bottle. He caught my eye and I saw him muttered the word ‘pathetic’ and I tripped on the final turn, spraining my ankle. I fell right in front of the judges. He didn’t even come backstage to see if I was okay, he just left.”
A heavy silence followed. I looked up at Barth and his expression was terrifying. His jaw was set so hard that I thought it might break, his fists clenched the counter.
“He’s lucky he’s dead,” Barth said in a low, deadly growl. “Because if he were here, I would show him exactly what a failure looked like.”
He stepped closer, his hand sticking out towards my face before finally settling on the nape of my neck. His thumb traced the sensitive spot behind my ear, sending a jolt of electricity straight to my core.
“Listen to me,” he said, his eyes locking onto mine, instense and filled with longing. “Tomorrow, you aren’t dancing for him or anyone but yourself. And when you feel like you are going to fall, you will look at me.”
“Barth…”
“I mean it, Yvonne. I have spent my whole life being told that I have to uphold and protect the name of my family. But tomorrow, on that stage, I will be your shield. I won’t let a single person in that room look down at you.”
He leaned in, his forehead resting against mine. “I promise you,” he whispered, his lips so close that I could literally taste them against mine. “I won’t let you fall.”
I nodded, believing him. I believed him so completely that it scared me. He stayed there for a long time, holding me before finally pulling away.
“Get some sleep, Bree,” He said, using my middle name that brought a smile to my face. “You are going to need your strength to handle that standing ovation that would be coming your way in a few hours.”