Chapter Twenty-One

Following the lit streetlights along the sidewalk, I wondered where I should go now. I know I shouldn’t be walking the streets alone at night, but I couldn’t go home with evidence that I have been crying. It’s getting pretty late, but it’s still only 9 o’clock, which means that everyone at home was still awake.

Walking around the neighborhood, some houses were completely darkened, the people either asleep or still not home. Dogs would bark as I walked past, seeing a stranger this late at night must have provoked them.

Looking at my phone, which I had on silent, I had ten missed calls from Chad along with 20 text messages from him, and a couple of voicemails. I refused to look at any of the texts, decided not to listen to any of the voicemails, and when he tried to call again while I was looking at my phone, I rejected it. What does he think I’m going to do? Does he think after forcing himself on me that I will just answer so he can beg for forgiveness?

Why do things like this keep happening to me? I’m not even that pretty… Girls like Ember are more beautiful than I am… I wonder to myself. I don’t even consider myself to be in the same league as Ellen or Dawn… So why do people keep doing this to me? Maybe just opportune timing? Why do I do such stupid things?

Other than Chad’s plethora of attempts to contact me, I had two missed calls from Dawn, and one from Mrs. Hall. Dawn was probably worried and wondering how my talk with Chad went, which I didn’t want to explain to her at the moment. To be honest, I wasn’t sure where I would begin on that front. And I know Mrs. Hall had called, wondering why I wasn’t home yet.

As I went to put my phone back in my pocket, my dad tried calling. Ugh… I want to answer so he won’t worry, but I know he would be able to tell that I am upset… I start to send him to voicemail and send him a text message, but I didn’t have the heart to do it.

Clearing my throat, “Hello?” I answer, trying to keep my voice from trembling.

“Hey, where are you at?” His voice sounded normal, without any concern painting it, maybe he didn’t notice my voice sounded a little stuffy.

“I’m just walking home,” I reply, my voice cracking a little. Silently, I try to keep myself calm.

“Really?” He questions, sounding surprised. “Shouldn’t you already be back by now?”

“I met with Chad to talk to him about something… I’m on my way now.” My breathing was off, as I was trying to hide the fact that I was crying. Unfortunately, I think my dad noticed this.

“Oh… Okay…” He replied, sounding suspicious. “Is everything all right?”

“Yeah…” I state unconvincingly, tears starting to fill my eyes again. “I’ll see you in a few.” My voice becomes whiny as I hang up the phone. The tears spilled over, running down my cheeks.

This whole experience, ever since we lost our house has been nothing but a mess… Maybe I need to tell my dad that we need to move out… I started bawling to myself, in the middle of the sidewalk, holding my chest, thinking of having to leave the new family I had come to know. I can’t take this anymore… I can’t live like this anymore… And now… Now I have even lost one of my best friends… Which is my fault… I probably should have never gone out with Chad in the first place…

I begin walking back to the house I stay at. It no longer felt like a home to me. It didn’t feel like a sanctuary to hide away in anymore. Still, tears fell down my cheeks, but I couldn’t lie to my dad anymore. Whether I was crying, upset, or okay, regardless of my mental state, I needed to tell him the truth. This living arrangement isn’t working out for me. I’ve endured it for so long, I’ve tried to make it the best I could, but I’ve reached my limit.

When I get to the house, after a long day at work or a bad day at school, I don’t want to have to hide anymore. I don’t want to avoid anyone. I want to be able to go home and just relax, not walk on eggshells. To even be able to just decompress from the day, not wonder if I will cause more problems just by being there.

As I got closer to the street I live on, I noticed one of the streetlamps was out. In that small bit of darkness, I could make out a shadowy figure standing on the corner, their head turned back and forth as if waiting on someone. My heart instantly sank. What if it is Chad? How could I get around him? But what if it isn’t Chad and some stranger lurking around? That would be just my luck…

The figure started to approach me. Once the person reached the light, I could see that it was Liam, wearing his same annoyed expression. “Why are you walking around by yourself this late at night?” His voice beckoned, through the cool night air.

Quickly, I wipe away the tears on my cheeks, trying to calm myself and stop “ugly crying,” as I hope he wouldn’t notice. “What are you doing out here?” My voice cracked, sounding muffled as I tried to hold back the tears that desperately wanted to keep flowing.

“What’s wrong?” His voice sounded concerned. “Why have you been crying?”

Alarmed, I stare at him. “Why would you care whether I’ve been crying or not?” I question, my voice trembling as I continue walking past him. He begins to follow closely behind me. “Even if I have been crying, you would just mock me about it anyway… So why would I want to tell you anything?”

“You have been crying, your eyes are puffy.” He says. “What happened?”

“It’s none of your business,” I stated angrily. “So stop acting as if you care.”

Liam was quiet, stopping dead in his tracks at my words.

When I noticed that he was no longer following me, I became curious, turning around to look at him.

The lit streetlamps we now stood under showed his expression clearly. Confliction painted him, his facial expression looking strained. It was as if he was stuck, battling something within himself. His brown eyes filled with a wide range of emotion, staring at me. His short black hair was disheveled, some strands sticking out as if he had been running his fingers through it or trying to pull it out?

“What?” I question in annoyance, confused by his current state and actions.

“Are… are you really considering marrying Chad?” He stammered at first, but his voice was still firm.

I stare in amazement. “… How did you…” I ask myself silently before continuing, “Did Oscar tell you?” I glare at him as if it were his fault instead of his little brother’s.

“Well, is it true?” He replied, disregarding my question, his voice suddenly sounding grave.

“Why do I have to answer you?” I countered angrily. “Every time I ask you a question, you just give me more. How is that fair?”

Liam didn’t respond, staring at me intently. His eyes showed desperation as if he were clinging to my every word.

“Ugh! Why are you acting so concerned all of a sudden?” I started, my blood beginning to boil. What is it to him? None of it concerns him anyway…

He remained silent. His brown eyes stared at me as if he were trying to read me, wanting me to tell him the truth. Almost pleading to me, he persisted unwilling to answer any of my requests.

We stood staring at one another, neither one of us budging. The only thing breaking the silence between us was the sounds of crickets chirping and an owl hooting off in the distance. Why is he so stubborn? And why does he look so hot right now? Staring at him was torture. I started to fidget under his glare.

Shrugging, I began with a jagged breath, “Maybe I will marry him, maybe I won’t.”

His jaw tightens, nostrils flaring as his eyes light ablaze. Infuriation consumed him as I talked.

“If I do decide to marry him, at least I know I’ll be with someone I’ve known for years. Someone I know who will treat me the way I should be treated and not like a nuisance.” Purposefully leaving out the little… mishap that had occurred, which he didn’t need to know about anyway.

My words seemingly wounded him. He still stared at me full of anger as he began to clench his fists at his sides.

“You and your girlfriend said we made a good couple,” I scoff, rolling my eyes. “I thought I had your blessing.”

His eyes appeared pained by my comment.

“I thought you would be happy about it,” I stated further. “At least I won’t be causing you so many problems now.”

“But I am the one in your heart,” he finally responded with his voice raised, enraged, and robotic.

“You were the one I loved,” I replied resentfully, feeling the ache that radiated through my chest from the lie I just told. “Now I love someone else.”

His voice roared with provocation, “Can you really change your heart so quickly?” He questions becoming wild-eyed.

I bit my tongue, not wanting to lie or speak about matters of the heart anymore. No, my heart didn’t flip on a dime… Why is he acting like this? His reaction affected me, pulling at my heart. Letting out a sigh of defeat, I begin. “It doesn’t matter anymore…”

“What?” He questioned in an accusing tone, his eyes narrowing at me.

“Any of this… I’m moving out.” I say bluntly. “So does it even matter?”

Liam’s face changes. Within an instant, his eyes went from anger to pain and worry. His eyes widened, studying me. “You’re just going to walk away?” Disbelief tinting his voice. “What about mom? What about our dads?” His voice was loud, almost desperate. “Do they even know?”

I felt like I was being scolded. Unable to conceal my emotions, I started crying again. The tears I had successfully dried up moments ago are now streaming down my cheeks as if a dam had just burst. My chest felt empty like someone ripped my heart out. The only thing remaining was an empty hole which left a burning sensation. “What else am I supposed to do?” I yell at him, somewhat alleviating the burning ache for a second. “I’m going crazy living in that house with you! I have tried being nice to you, I have tried hating you, I’ve tried forgetting about you, and I’ve tried avoiding you, but none of it worked!” My voice becomes louder and louder as I scream at him, letting all of my frustration towards him out. “Nothing will work when we live under the same roof!” I sobbed, becoming near hysterical.

A few seconds of silence passed us. He stood paralyzed, not knowing what to do.

The silence was intermittently broken only by my sobs, my jagged breath. My chest hurt as my heart wanted to burst. The pain consumed the rest of my body. My knees felt weak like I would fall at any moment. I continued, “I need to leave, I need to get away.”

“What about me?” He asks in a calm tone, slowly taking a step toward me. His eyes still burned wildly.

“What about you?” I wept, resentfully, trying to look away from his eyes. Fighting the urge to tell him.

Liam’s hand touched my cheek, pulling my face to look at him. His facial expression softened, and his eyes still showed desperation as he waited for me to speak again.

Staring into his eyes, I couldn’t make myself bite back the truth anymore. “Of course, I’m still in love with yo—“

Liam cut off my sentence, kissing me passionately.

My heart started to beat faster as Liam hungrily kissed me, pulling me into a tight embrace. His warm tongue caressed mine as his strong arms held me around my waist firmly. I completely surrendered to him, melting in his arms. My heat set ablaze, yearning for him to touch me more. We stood under a streetlamp, entangled in one another.

Slowly, he breaks the kiss, still holding me tightly in his arms. I rest my head on his chest, feeling dizzy as if I would fall at any moment without his support. I could hear his heart racing as fast as mine, his chest moving up and down quickly with his breaths.

Liam’s voice was soft as he spoke. “Don’t marry him… Please don’t marry him…” Catching his breath, he continued. “Please don’t leave me…”

I nod my head against his chest, unable to speak. How is this happening? I thought to myself, enjoying the feeling of being safely tucked in his arms. My arms were wrapped around him just as tightly not wanting to let go.

“And don’t ever say you like another guy,” He continues teasingly. “You can only love me.”

Looking up at him, he smiles playfully as he caresses my cheek, wiping away some leftover tears. Meeting his lips to mine, he began deeply kissing me again.

***

Am I dreaming? Is this even real? I wondered to myself with my eyes shut tightly. Even if it is just a dream… I don’t want it to end. Hesitantly, I take a peek. My heart leaps and I begin to smile brightly. It really is him!

Slowly he pulls away, breaking our kiss.

I stare at him, disappointed but still happy and smiling.

“Let’s go home,” Liam’s voice says softly, taking my hand.

We walk together to the house, hand-in-hand. I couldn’t stop smiling as we continued walking. How is any of this possible? Was I dreaming? I thought to myself before something even worse came to mind. Or… is this yet another cruel joke?

Suddenly, I stop in my tracks just as we made it to the driveway and begin to frown.

Liam turns to look at me quizzically, still holding my hand.

“How do I know you’re being honest with me?” I question, sadness painting my voice.

He became concerned by my request.

“How do I know this isn’t one of your cruel tricks?” I continued slowly, forcing myself to stare him in the eye.

Closing the space between us, he begins. “Bree, I know I have hurt you in the past…” His hand caresses my cheek as his seductive voice continued to explain. “But I was trying to fight this feeling I’ve been having since I first saw you.”

I was captivated by his voice, his ginger touch. “What feeling?” I whispered.

He smiles. “This one,” Placing my hand on his chest, I could feel his heart still racing.

“Oh…” That was all I could manage.

He gives me a short kiss.

Suddenly, another thought occurred to me. “What about Ember?”

“What about her?” Liam questions, confusion in his voice.

“She is your girlfriend, isn’t she?”

“No,” He replied. “Why would you think that?”

“It looked like you were on a date with her last night…”

“We weren’t on a date,” He replied humorously. “She just invited me to go get a drink with her.”

I stare at him skeptically. “You know she wants to be your girlfriend.”

He smiles. “I know… But I want someone else.”

Staring at him in amazement, I was speechless.

Liam must have thought my stunned silence was amusing. His lips displayed a playful smile before kissing me again. “Let’s get inside,” he says, walking me home.

We enter the house holding hands. Still light-headed and dizzy, my mind was racing from how this night had turned out. Even so, it was hard for me to believe that this was actually happening, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t enjoy it. Walking into the living room, we found our parents sitting down, staring at each other with serious looks on their faces.

“What’s wrong?” I question, afraid something bad happened. All of them wore such long faces, it made me wonder if someone had died.

All three of them turn their attention to us. Their expressions instantly changed from saddened to intense curiosity.

My dad finally begins to explain, staring at us peculiarly. “I was just discussing with Will and Calia that after I called you this evening, you sounded upset. With that, I told them I think it would be in your best interest if we moved out,” He continued, trying to work out what was going on. “The past two days, you appeared fine, but to me, it seems like something has been troubling you.”

I stare at my father, unable to comprehend what he was saying. Before we came home, I felt like I was on cloud nine and now I am plummeting to Earth.

“Mr. Adams, please stay,” Liam responds. “I know I have caused Bree a lot of heartaches.” He continued, glancing at me before staring my dad in the eyes. “I know I have made her endure a lot of pain… The truth is, she shouldn’t forgive me, and neither should you… But I just confessed that I love her and hope to marry her one day.”

Mrs. Hall squealed with delight, holding her hands over her mouth while jumping up and down while still seated on the couch. Her brown eyes glistened with excitement.

However, my dad wasn’t as easily swayed as he stared at Liam skeptically. “You said yourself that you have caused her heartache. Why would I trust that you mean what you are telling me?”

“Let me prove it to you,” He replies, optimistically.

My dad continued to stare at him, hard. “Why would you treat her so horribly, if you are in love with her?”

The question made Liam tense up. “I wasn’t sure how I felt before,” He began, slowly, choosing his words carefully. “Every time she came near me, I did not know how to react.”

“You didn’t know how to react?” My father continued, doubtful.

“Yes, sir. You see… I never believed love was a true thing. Thinking that it was a concept that everyone deluded themselves into believing was real.” Liam continued, genuinely. “Every time she came around me when Bree would smile my heart would start to race. When she cries, I want to hold on to her, wiping her tears away. I wanted to fight against these urges.”

“Why?” My dad questioned in astonishment, not understanding why someone could feel this way.

“Because, at first, it didn’t make any sense to me. How could a person make me feel this way? Then, when I realized that I lived to see her the next day, that I grew more concerned about her when I didn’t see her, I knew that I fell in love with her. That love was an actual thing. After getting to know her, it started to make perfect sense,” He let out a heavy sigh. “But even after this realization, I didn’t want to admit it to myself, nor anyone else.”

“But why?” Mrs. Hall questions, entirely captivated.

“Love is weakness,” Liam continued. “Love gives everyone a weakness, and once someone knows that, they can use that person against you. Someone can come to take away that happiness you feel.”

“Then what happened to make you decide that it is worth it?” Mr. Hall chimes in, in complete wonderment.

“I felt like I was losing her…” He states, sadness tinting his voice. “And I almost did.”

My dad just stares at him, not saying a word. An expression on his face made it apparent that he was arguing with himself, unsure of what the appropriate reaction would be in this situation.

I stood silently watching my dad. He continued to stare at us with a strained face. My eyes pleaded with him to let us stay. But it looked like he still stood unconvinced.

“Look, I don’t know if what you’re telling me is true,” he begins. “I need to take care of my daughter. I don’t want her ending up in the hospital again.”

“I don’t want that either, Mr. Adams. That’s why I want a chance to prove to you and Bree that I really do care about her. That I really do love her. I want to make up for all the wrongs I have done to her.”

My dad’s face looked as though they were strained. He was having a hard time determining what the best thing to do was. “I’ll think about us staying…” He finally replied, reluctantly.

Mrs. Hall stood up quickly, “Then let’s celebrate!” She shouts.

“I didn’t say we were staying,” Dad states.

“Still, this is a happy moment!” Mrs. Hall screeches. “These two are in love!” She continued, walking over to Liam and me and hugging us.

Mr. Hall was next, hugging us merrily.

“What’s all the commotion about?” Oscar questions, walking into the living room.

“Oscar! Bree is going to be a part of the family!” Mr. Hall responds, tears filling her eyes.

“What?” He asks, confused.

“She and Liam are going to get married!” She continued excitedly.

“I thought she was dating someone else and going to move out,” Oscar retorts.

All the parents stared at me at that moment.

Shrugging my shoulders in response, I couldn’t stop smiling and had no explanation to give. There were so many things for me to be happy about, I didn’t want to muddy it up.

***

After everyone settled down, mainly Mrs. Hall, I went upstairs to get changed into my pajamas. It had been a long night and I wanted some time to myself. Unfortunately, because of all of the excitement, I couldn’t even think about getting any sleep. Who could?

Sneaking out of my room, I decided to go back downstairs. The house was dark as everyone else had also chosen that it was time for bed also. I wanted to go to my favorite spot on the back patio and look up into the night sky. Awestruck by everything that had occurred tonight, I was feeling so giddy, yet also worried that somehow this was all a trick, a horrible game.

On the back patio, I sit on the steps instead of the chair I normally sit in. Sitting on the bottom step, I had a better view of the clear night sky with all of the twinkling stars. Even though it was dark, I could make out the shadow from the large oak tree that rested near the back of the house. I could still see and smell Mrs. Hall’s flowers that ran along with the patio and throughout the backyard.

The cool night air gave me a little chill, but I was enjoying the scenery. My knees were close to my chest, wrapping my arms around them to conceal some skin, I tried to warm myself up a little while replaying the past couple of hours in my mind.

“Couldn’t sleep either?” Liam says, sitting down on the step behind me as he wraps his arms around me into a tight embrace.

“Nope,” I reply. I was still in shock that Liam was acting this way towards me.

Only moments ago, I believed I would never be with him, planning ways to never see him again. But now, here I am, comfortably wrapped in his arms.

“So…” I began slowly. “What made you decide to tell me how you feel?”

“Somewhere along the way, you managed to sneak your way into my heart… I didn’t want to admit it to myself, but then you wanted to leave. You wanted to be with someone who wasn’t me. If you really did want to be with Chad then I would’ve just had to suck it up…” Liam continued. “Ever since you moved in, ever since our very first interaction, every day has been an adventure.”

Turning my head to look at him, I ask, “Do I still annoy you?”

“Immensely,” He responded with a smile. “But I love it.”

I glared at him, unamused by his statement.

He thought my reaction was funny and began laughing. Placing his hand on the nape of my neck to cradle my face, his thumb started caressing my cheek. “Somehow you know me better than myself. Even when I am at a loss as to what I should do, you know exactly what to tell me. I am majoring in the medical field to become a doctor because of you.”

I smile at him. Ember had already told me that, but it was nice to hear it come from him. Especially that I was the reason he did it.

Liam leans down, giving me a slow, long, deep kiss which sets my heat on fire. Nibbling at my lip as we continued kissing. The ache in my core burned so much, I didn’t think I could stand it any longer.

Pulling away slowly, my eyes are still shut as I unintentionally bite my lip. Opening my eyes and clearing my throat, I try to ignore the discomfort that I wish Liam would extinguish. “I’m afraid when I go to sleep you will turn back into your teasing, mocking self in the morning.”

Wearing a sly smile, he asks “Do you want me to sleep with you tonight?”

My eyes almost popped out of my head from shock. Blushing, I began to stammer, “Uh… Um… N-no… that’s not what I—“

He chuckles. “Maybe next time then,” He states, giving me another kiss before we look back up at the night sky.