Chapter 36 The Third Attempt
Elena’s hope was beginning to fracture. The second attempt under the stricter protocol had ended in another negative test, and this time the disappointment hit her like a physical blow. She sat on the edge of the bed that evening, staring at the calendar on her phone with tired eyes. The medication was taking a toll — mood swings, fatigue, and a constant low-level nausea that made even simple tasks feel heavy.
“I thought this time would be different,” she said quietly when Marcus entered the room. Her voice carried a new edge of weariness. “The doctor said the levels looked better, but… nothing. Again.”
Marcus sat beside her and pulled her into his arms. He stroked her back and whispered the usual reassurances, telling her they were still early in the process and that they would keep fighting. Elena leaned into him, grateful for his steady presence, but Marcus could feel the subtle shift in her. The bright optimism was dimming, replaced by a quiet desperation that made his guilt feel even heavier.
The third attempt began with a heavier atmosphere. Elena followed every instruction with mechanical precision — the timing, the supplements, the exact positions the doctor had suggested to improve chances. When they came together that night, there was love in her touch, but also a quiet urgency that hadn’t been there before.
Marcus made love to her with focused tenderness, moving slowly and deeply, giving her everything he could in that moment. Elena clung to him, her breaths coming in soft, hopeful gasps as she whispered how much she wanted this for both of them. When he finally released inside her, she held him tightly, tears slipping silently down her cheeks.
“Please,” she whispered against his neck. “Let this be the one.”
Marcus held her until she fell asleep, his chest tight with conflicting emotions. He had given her his seed with genuine care, yet the familiar hunger for Lucy was already stirring, stronger than ever, as if the more he tried to fulfill Elena’s dream, the more desperately he needed the forbidden release that only Lucy could provide.
The moment Elena’s breathing deepened into sleep, Marcus slipped from the bed. The guilt felt suffocating tonight, but it only sharpened the need. He moved down the hallway like a man walking toward his own execution, knowing he should turn back, knowing he was only making everything worse.
Lucy was waiting. She took one look at his face and pulled him inside without a word. The kiss they shared was fierce and urgent. Marcus pushed her onto the bed and took her with raw desperation, thrusting deep and hard as if he could fuck away the image of Elena’s hopeful tears.
Lucy met every brutal stroke, her body arching to take him deeper. “You just tried to give her everything,” she gasped, nails digging into his shoulders. “And now you’re giving me the part you can’t control. How does that make you feel?”
Marcus answered with his body, pounding into her with increasing force. The conflict raged violently inside him. He wanted to be the man who could give Elena the family she longed for. He wanted to stop hurting the woman who trusted him completely. Yet the darker hunger for Lucy had become so powerful that stopping felt impossible. Every thrust was both punishment and salvation.
After they both shattered, Marcus lay beside Lucy, staring at the ceiling while his heart hammered. The emotional toll was becoming unbearable. He had just held his crying wife and made love to her with purpose, only to turn around and claim her daughter with savage intensity. The two versions of himself were no longer coexisting — they were at war.
“I can’t keep pretending this is just sex,” he said hoarsely. “Every time I comfort her, every time I try to be the husband she needs, I feel like I’m disappearing. And the only time I feel like myself is when I’m with you.”
Lucy turned to face him, her expression a mixture of tenderness and frustration. “Then stop pretending. You confessed you love me. You keep coming back even when you swear you won’t. But you’re still sleeping next to her every night, still promising her a future you’re secretly destroying. How long until one of us breaks completely?”
Her words cut deep. Marcus felt the full weight of his choices pressing down on him. He loved Elena and wanted to protect her from this pain. He wanted to give her the baby that would make her whole. Yet his love for Lucy had grown into something undeniable, something that made the thought of losing her feel like losing a part of his soul. The conflict was tearing him apart from the inside.
Later that night, Elena stirred beside him in the master bedroom. She turned toward Marcus, her voice small but resolute in the darkness.
“My hope is starting to crack,” she admitted quietly. “If this attempt fails too, I don’t want to wait any longer. I think we should book the specialist appointment. I need real answers, Marcus. I can’t keep doing this month after month without knowing what’s wrong.”
Marcus pulled her closer and kissed her forehead, his voice steady despite the storm inside him. “We’ll book it. Whatever you need, we’ll do it.”
Elena sighed with a mixture of relief and exhaustion, nestling against him. But as she drifted back to sleep, Marcus lay awake, eyes fixed on the ceiling.
Elena’s hope was beginning to crack, and she had decided to take the next step. She would book the specialist appointment.
The third attempt was complete, and with it came the growing certainty that the fragile balance they had maintained was about to shatter.