Chapter 34 The First Attempt
Elena stood in the kitchen the next morning with fresh resolve burning in her eyes. The doctor’s warning had shaken her, but it had also lit a fire. She had spent the night researching the stronger medication and the possibility of moving to IUI if needed. When Marcus came downstairs, she greeted him with a determined smile and a cup of coffee.
“I want to do the first real attempt this month,” she said, voice steady despite the slight tremble in her hands. “No more passive hoping. We follow the new protocol exactly. The medication, the timing, everything. I need this, Marcus. I need us to fight for our baby.”
Marcus took the mug from her and pulled her into a gentle hug, kissing the top of her head. “We’ll do whatever it takes,” he promised, his voice warm and reassuring on the surface. Inside, dread coiled tight in his gut. Another structured attempt meant more scheduled intimacy with Elena, more pressure, and more inevitable moments where he would have to betray her immediately afterward.
Lucy watched the exchange from the hallway, unseen, her expression unreadable. The tension in the house had thickened into something almost suffocating.
The fertile window arrived with clinical precision. Elena followed every instruction from the doctor. She took the medication at the exact times, tracked her temperature obsessively, and prepared her body with supplements and rest. On the key nights, she came to bed with quiet anticipation, wearing the soft silk nightgown Marcus had once complimented.
Marcus performed his role with focused care. He made love to her slowly, deeply, ensuring every thrust was purposeful. Elena clung to him, whispering how much she loved him, how grateful she was that he was willing to walk this difficult road with her. When he finally released inside her, she held him close, tears of hope slipping down her cheeks.
“You’re giving me everything,” she whispered afterward, curled against his chest. “Thank you for not giving up on us.”
Marcus stroked her hair and murmured soothing words, but his mind was already drifting down the hall. The tenderness he showed Elena only amplified the guilt that waited for him the moment she fell asleep.
The moment Elena’s breathing grew deep and even, Marcus slipped from their bed. The guilt felt heavier than ever tonight. He had just given his wife his seed with genuine care and hope for their future, yet his body was already aching for something darker, more consuming.
He found Lucy in her room, sitting on the edge of the bed as if she had been expecting him. She stood up slowly, eyes searching his face.
“You just tried to get her pregnant again,” she said quietly. “And now you’re here.”
Marcus didn’t deny it. He crossed the room and pulled her into a fierce kiss, hands roaming over her body with urgent need. Within moments he had her on the bed, legs spread, and was sinking into her with a deep groan. The contrast hit him hard. Where Elena had been soft and hopeful, Lucy was tight and demanding, her body welcoming him with greedy hunger that matched his own desperation.
He fucked her with long, powerful strokes, trying to silence the voice in his head that called him a monster. Lucy met every thrust, her nails digging into his back as she whispered filthy encouragement.
The sex was intense and emotional. Marcus moved inside Lucy with a mixture of raw lust and self-loathing. Every time Elena’s hopeful face flashed in his mind, he thrust harder, as if he could fuck away the guilt. Lucy sensed the turmoil and wrapped herself around him tighter, offering the only kind of comfort she knew how to give.
“You’re tearing yourself in half,” she whispered during a brief pause, her forehead pressed to his. “Part of you wants to be the perfect husband who gives her the baby she dreams of. The other part can’t stop coming back to me. How long until one side wins and destroys the other?”
Marcus groaned and buried himself deeper, the question striking at the very core of his struggle. He loved Elena. He wanted to give her the family she had built her hopes around. Yet the addiction to Lucy had become so powerful that the thought of stopping felt like losing a vital piece of himself. The conflict raged inside him with every thrust, every moan, every pulse of pleasure that felt both euphoric and poisonous.
When he finally came, it was with a choked sound, flooding her while his mind screamed at him for what he was doing to the woman sleeping just down the hall.
Later that night, after Marcus had slipped back into the master bedroom and lain down beside his sleeping wife, Elena stirred. She turned toward him in the darkness and rested her head on his chest.
“I’m scared,” she admitted softly, her voice barely above a whisper. “What if this attempt fails too? What if my body just can’t do this?”
Marcus held her close, stroking her back with gentle hands while fresh guilt crashed over him like a wave. He had just given Elena everything he could during their careful union, then immediately emptied the rest of himself into Lucy. Now he comforted his wife’s fears while still carrying the evidence of his betrayal on his skin.
Elena cried quietly against his chest, her tears soaking through his shirt. Marcus whispered reassurances, promising they would keep fighting, but the words felt hollow. The first real attempt under the new protocol had been completed.
And Elena was already preparing herself for the possibility of another negative result.
The cycle continued, but the emotional cost was rising with every passing night. Marcus could feel the walls closing in, the lies becoming harder to maintain, and the love he had confessed to Lucy only making the conflict more unbearable.