Forty Three

Chapter Forty Three

“You don’t look happy.” Mark pointed out as they walked out through the side in order to avoid the press who were making a lot of noise at the entrance.

“Well, it is not every day you get to watch your husband, soon to be ex, being sentenced to twenty years in prison for trying to murder you.” Jennifer bit her lower lip as she raised her head to make eye contact with him. For the brief second their eyes met, Mark’s smiled at her softly. She looked forward, their pace getting slow as they were moving farther away from the court.

“So, you wanted to talk to me?” She said when the silence between them was getting prolonged and awkward at that time.

He scratched his hair and gave a nervous chuckle. Jennifer looked at him and smiled to herself. “Before you say what you want to say, I have something to say too. You know, something that totally amuses me about you is how easy it is for you to change from being all cranky and sometimes mean to being this… this nice, concerned, okay you have always being concerned, but you get my point.

What I am trying to say is that, despite the changes I still don’t understand, you are a good man and thank you for everything.” She smiled grandly as they both stopped walking.

“I am not a good man.” His voice came out low, quite sober too. Jennifer’s smile turned into a frown. “I am not a good man for you.”

Jennifer took a step back, her heart already dreading what his response to her question would be. “What do you mean?”

“I will never be a good man to you Jennifer.”

“B…but these past days you have been very kind, very…”

He interrupted her. “Trust me Jennifer, that wasn’t me at all. I am that cranky, mean guy you described earlier. I am the guy who wanted to badly get rid of you when you were still staying in my house.”

“So, was it all an act? The nice, caring guy you have been ever since we came here.”

“I am afraid so.”

Jennifer laughed nervously shaking her head to wade off the pain she was beginning to feel. “Even the whole… the kiss, the make outs, it was all an act?” He looked away. “It meant nothing to you?”

“Uh…” He shook his head, looking away with what Jennifer read as a sad face.

“You are lying, aren’t you? You are just saying all these because you are scared aren’t you?”

“I am not scared! I don’t want to be with you!” Jennifer’s shoulders slumped and she took another step back as her brain processed repeatedly what he had just screamed at her.

“Why did you initiate it then?” She said quietly.

“Why did you kiss me that day? Why did you act like you loved me?”

“Loved you? Jennifer I thought we were having fun.” Her mouth hung open as her brain began to process his new statement.

Having fun. Having fun. Having fun?

She gave a crazy laugh. “Having fun? If I wanted to have fun I would have hooked up with some random guy while at Hamesia. Having fun! Bullshit Mark! Bullshit!” Her voice was starting to get very loud.

“Mark, did I ever, ever, ask you to kiss me because I wanted to have fun? Did I ever, ever, enter an agreement with you that you would be entertaining me by kissing me?” He looked away again.

“I was at the lowest point of my life Mark and I thought … I thought you…” Her voice cracked as the tears in her heart struggled to come out. She licked her lower lip, held herself together and continued, this time with a calm voice. “I thought you really cared. Oh God, I am just so stupid.” She let the tears come out anyway and she looked elsewhere, trying to ignore the thoughts in her head and the additional pain in her heart.

“Jennifer, I am sorry, but I am not someone you should like let alone love. I am no good for you.” Jennifer shook her head, more tears falling. “Uh… Silvanus and I will be leaving for Hamesia tomorrow. Congratulations on getting back what is yours.” Jennifer sensed him leave and she turned. Watching his back as he walked towards the court, Jennifer wiped her tears with the back of her hands.

As she tried to hold herself together, she also tried to not think about what had just happened. She refused within her to let what had just happened affect her since she had her company’s reputation to restore.

She finally found herself in front of the court after what seemed like ages of walking. Amanda was waiting in front of the court which was already bare of the crowd it had before.

“Where have you been Jennifer? I have been looking for you. Where is Mark and Silvanus?” Jennifer looked at her friend who looked at her all concerned. “Your eyes are all red. Jennifer what happened?”

There was one last thing Jennifer wanted to do before she ventured into her new life. “I need your help.”

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“Hey Dad.” Jennifer knelt on the mowed green grass, her hands resting on her laps as she stared at where her father was laid. She smiled sadly as she took in the words written on his headstone.

“I have missed you dad. I have missed you so much.” A cool breeze blew past her. She took out the bouquet of flowers she had tucked behind her and stared at them for a while.

“I brought you flowers. I know they will just wither in no time, but at least, your resting place will look pretty for some days. Or maybe weeks, if you are lucky.” She placed the flowers by his headstone.

“You know dad, ever since you’ve left, things have been crazy. And trust me when I say crazy, it was indeed crazy.” She glanced at the bright, clear sky.

“For starters, Francis tried to kill me by drowning me. Shocked? My whole being was shocked when I figured it out. I would be with you right now if not for this guy, Mark who found me miraculously half alive at the shore of the ocean of a certain strange country. Truthfully, I am thankful that I am alive, but the pain that comes with or rather that came with discovering whatever had happened to me made me wish I actually died. Oh, I forgot to add, I lost a bit of my memory, so till now, I don’t vividly remember how Francis tried to drown me. Crazy right?” Jennifer took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as she maintained her sight on her father’s grave.

“Well, dad, like you always said, there are still good people in this world no matter how terribly bad the world may seem. I met good people who decided to help me go back home and get back what was mine. I am happy I met them, they all made my stay there easy. Honestly speaking, I felt so loved by them, I won’t hesitate to call them family any day.” She smiled widely.

“Dad, with their help, I got back what is mine and yours. Obviously. But I learnt something which I refuse to believe until it is proven. I learnt that I have a step-sister. You know, this is the part where I wish you were beside me as a ghost or something, at least you would be able to clarify that. But you are no ghost and you won’t be able to talk to me, so…” Jennifer sighed deeply.

“I am hurting dad. I have been hurting ever since you left me. When I found myself waking up at an unfamiliar place, I felt terrible. I felt a lot of pain when I knew Francis was behind my drowning. The pain doubled when Hannah was exposed to be the mastermind. Now, the pain is worse because of a particular man who I thought cared for me.” Jennifer let the tears in her eyes fall.

“I was starting to feel happy. After everything I had just discovered about the people I claimed to be family, I was glad that he chose that moment to make me feel loved. Or maybe I just let myself believe that was what he was doing. Anyway I found myself gradually falling in love with this man. But, I got myself hurt at the end of the day. Apparently he thought we were having fun.” Jennifer chuckled amidst the tears,.

“Anyway Dad, I am about to start another segment of my life. I hope that this time, no one will try to kill me. And I hope that I find love, because I need love. And if I don’t find love, I guess I’ll start keeping pets. Probably cats.” She smiled widely.

“I really do miss you dad. I wish you didn’t leave me so early. But it is fine. I am sure you and mom are having fun wherever you are. Do say hi for me. And please never leave me alone, because I will always need you.” Jennifer closed her eyes as more tears came running down.

“Jennifer.” She heard Amanda call her softly. Jennifer looked up at her with her teary eyes and gave a messy smile. Amanda knelt beside her, reached out for her hand and held it. And the both of them sat there, holding each other in silence and stared at the grave, both of them delving into their world of thoughts.