EIGHTY-FIVE

I covered my mouth in shock as he said those words. Throughout the years and in as much as I've hated him, I've never wished for him to die. So to hear him say he would willingly make that trade sent a chill down my spine.

"You don't need to wish death upon yourself, you know that, right?"

"You might be right, Gianna. But I've been paying for my sins for so long that I want it to stop."

A small part of him believed what he said. I could see the raw emotions on his face-the look of pain and regret and I knew I mirrored the same look.

The last years have been the hardest of my life and it was all because of one woman.

I chuckled lightly as I remembered how much I wished the contract I signed with Alessandro a few weeks into our wedding would magically disappear and we would become happily married until death came for either one of us.

"Now that I think of it, maybe I should've come to you with everything Lydia told me. The lies about the office romance you were having with your secretaries, the secret phone calls, and the rest. Maybe, I was too scared to know the truth or I was insecure and I believed that I wasn't going to ever be enough for you."

"I can't believe you just said that," Alessandro said after a few seconds of silence.

"Since we're both holding ourselves accountable for our actions, I might as well be honest with you about it too and admit that I was wrong to judge you without giving you the chance to explain yourself to me."

"I understand that but I'm mostly at fault. I'm you-I was your husband and I am the head. If there's anyone who ought to take responsibility, it should be me and not you. I'm sorry that it has taken me this long to try and set things right between us but I want you to know that I never disrespected or cheated on you with anyone else. I couldn't bring myself to do it because you mean the world to me, you always have."

"Goddamn you, Alessandro, you want to make me cry?" I sniffed, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand.

"I've waited a long time to tell you this and I couldn't pass up the opportunity because I knew I wasn't going to get another one."

He finally was able to clear up the misunderstanding that had happened but I was still hesitant to trust him completely. There were a lot of variables at play and emotions weren't something you could flip on and off like a switch whenever you felt like it.

"It's not going to be easy," I whispered under my breath, loud enough for him to hear.

"Trust me, I'm well aware of that and I'm not going to bug you or force you to do anything. I lost that right the moment you left but I do want you to give me a second chance to make things better between us."

"What if it takes me a long time to decide on what I want?" I asked, squaring my shoulders.

"I waited three years for this month, I don't mind waiting for a little longer if that's what it'll take for you to believe that I've always had your best interests at heart."

I let out a sigh as I ran my hands through my disheveled hair while I thought about how crazy the last few days had been.

I went from not being able to stand next to him to accepting to go on a shopping date with him after he tricked me by the way and to top it off, we ended up in this penthouse to avoid being caught in the crossfire happening on the street and we had sex.

"There's a couple of things I have to sort out before I can give you any answer and I do hope you'll respect my privacy and don't ask me what I mean because I'm not in the right place to talk about it now."

A part of me felt bad that I was keeping the identity of his son from him but I wanted to be sure that he wasn't putting on a show.

Three years is a long time for anyone to change and Alessandro wasn't above that either.

"I've been having this notion that you've been hiding something from me, Gianna." Alessandro began.

My heart immediately dropped into my stomach as my knees wobbled. Did he know the truth? Was that why he was here? To take my son away from me?

"Alessandro, I-"

"You don't need to worry about anything, Gianna. Like I said, I'm happy to wait for you to willingly open up to me. You call the shots and whatever you decide will be fine for me in the long run even if it doesn't seem that way at first."

I had no idea about what he could know or if he was only being philosophical as usual but the signs were there, I was running out of time to make things right and I had no idea how I wanted to go about it in the first place.

"We need to leave," I said, changing the topic as I smoothened my dress with my shaking hands.

I didn't want to spend any more seconds in this apartment with him. The tension was becoming unbearable and it wouldn't be long before I blurted out everything I wasn't supposed to tell him yet and I couldn't let that happen.

"Are you leaving because you're late for work or because you don't want to be here with me any longer?" Alessandro chuckled as we made our way inside the elevator.

"Don't flatter yourself too much." I scoffed, trying to hide the blush creeping up my cheeks.

"I'm trying not to but I can't help but notice you're clenching your thighs underneath that dress of yours and we both know why."