Chapter 43 Confused
\[Lilia\]
He completely devoured me.
He was taking everything and left me with nothing to pick up the shards of my own sanity.
I didn't even care if the glass partition of his car was down, nor did I even care that Val or anyone from the front seat could see us right through the rearview mirror. All I could sense now was how warm his lips were molding against mine, his tongue invading my whole cavity, imposing for dominance. How his gigantic hand cups the back of my head and how good his other hand was caressing one of my breasts with his thumb running over the peak of my hardened nipple.
Oh, gosh! What am I doing? What the hell am I doing? I internally berated myself. I just told him I didn't want this. Yet here I am now, nibbling, sucking on his essence, shivering beneath his touch, and melting away like ice in his arms.
I hate this, yet at the same time, this feeling I had seems like the only thing that matters the most in the world and nothing else.
The rising heat swirled right on my lower belly, contracting and tightening. And my throbbing needs gathered between my legs, pleading for attention to be paid to them.
“Fuck, kukla. I thought you were tired.” Kael growls between our kisses. Like me, he's panting profusely as well, and I could feel him getting aroused underneath me. He leaned his forehead against mine, his eyes burrowing through me as if he could see straight through the very core of my being.
“I’m burning Kael,” I gasped, my nose flaring as I inhaled sharply.
I have no way to describe what I am feeling, but I was lit on fire.
Everything is too constricting. This dreaded dress of mine, his coat, being in this confined space. I want him to take me out of here, out into the open, to strip me naked so that I can breathe again.
“We're here, kukla.” he softly announces, staving off his fiery gaze on me out to the window, and like a bucket of ice, the fire inside me extinguished, realizing what just happened to me.
What have I done? Oh, gosh.
I shake my head vigorously to disseminate my daze. I pulled myself away from him, though he still had his grip on my waist to keep me in place.
“Stay still,” he muttered, fixing his coat that I was wearing to cover my nearly exposed bosom, and then he pushed the door to his side open.
With one of his arms, Kael carried me out of his car like I weighed nothing. He kicked the door closed, then scooped the underside of my legs to shift to a comfortable bride-like position.
He veered around the vehicle and walked through the stairs on the patio of his mansion’s expansive entrance. I thought he was going to carry me all the way inside to my room, but he came to a halt on the last rung of stairs and turned around.
I saw Val coming right our way.
“Take her to her room,” Kael sternly instructed, transferring me from his arms to Val.
“Copy that, boss.”
I looked at him, confused as to why he gave me to Val. “Where—never mind...” I was about to ask him where he was going, but he didn't meet my gaze, so I just shut my mouth the moment he turned his back on us and walked away without even letting me finish what I wanted to say.
A sharp pain suddenly crosses my chest like some knives tweaking inside my heart. I don't know why I am feeling this way. I should be upset about what he did to me, for everything he had done, yet one touch, one kiss, one gentle movement he made for me, was enough to granulate all of my defenses into a single piece.
We were just kissing. He was gently holding me, caressing me, and then all of a sudden, his temperament changed.
“Val...” I whispered, blinking my eyes as they began to feel warm with tears brimming at the corner as I fixed my gaze on his neck. My fingers are fumbling with the unfastened button on his shirt, twirling it between my index and thumb in hopes of diverting my attention to it.
“Yes, sweet cake?” He replied. We were now weaving through the seemingly endless corridors leading to my bedroom. He was still carrying me and my arms looped around his neck as I gently swayed with each of his long strides.
Aside from Aya, Val had been the only person I got to be close with, in spite of the fact that he's careless with the words he was saying to me sometimes. He might be a big guy, but he never held me too roughly nor made me feel uncomfortable with his domineering size.
“Am I going crazy?” I ask out of nowhere, blinking down hard to push back my tears before I lifted my gaze up to him.
“What?” He seemed to have been taken off guard by my question as he cast me a fleeting glance before he swerved to the corner. “And, why would you say that?” He went on, focusing his gaze on the hallway we traversed with.
“Cause I think I am,” I say to him, taking back my attention to the button of his shirt and sighing.
He did not respond to me right away, and I noticed we were weaving through a familiar hallway until we came to a halt in front of a door I recognized most.
He opens it, transferring my weight to his one arm, and swings the door wide. Val crosses the vicinity of my fiery red room, gently put me down on top of my bed, and then crouches right in front of me. He raises his hand and brushes the stray strands of my hair, tucking them behind my ears and looking me in the eyes.
He sighed sharply and spoke.
“No, sweet cake. You are not.” He asserted, trailing off for a moment. “You’re just confused.”
His hand moved down to my neck, and his thumb stroked over my exposed collarbone. My heart suddenly skips a bit, but I remain composed and not show any reaction on my face.
What the heck was that? I swallowed the roiling turbulence inside me and pushed my emotions away from showing on my face as I gazed back at him.
Confused.
That word was like a bullet straight between the eyes.
I knew Val had a unique way with words, but I never thought he would read me this easily.
“Is that supposed to be normal?” I queried, stabilizing my voice and not stammer like a fool.
“Perhaps,” he shrugs, standing, “perhaps, not.” He removes his hands off my collar and shoves them into the pocket of his jeans, and asks, “Do you want me to stay, or do you want time alone?”
The spot where his hand had been remained warm, like his touch imprinted on my skin.
This is crazy.
Why am I having these mixed emotions?
The thought of Kael gives me butterflies in my stomach and sends goosebumps down the length of my spine, making my chest thundered wildly like thousands of galloping steeds. He's throwing my emotions off the rails, and now Val has joined the melee to add to the chaos.
What the hell is going on with me?
Why are all these strange sensations cascading down on me in torrents?
“I think I'm okay,” I murmured as I heaved a long sigh before dismissively nodding at him. “Thanks, Val.”
He just smiled and leaned down, kissing the top of my head before he pivoted on his feet and walked away.
I stiffened, staring at him dumbfounded until the door finally obscured his image.
I sigh in deep acquiescence, feeling that all the weight on this world collapses right into my shoulders, prompting me to let myself fall into my bed, bouncing into the mattress as I stare at my reflection on the mirrored ceiling.
My thoughts drained down to the sewers, not knowing what to discern about my own feelings anymore. I need to get away from here the soonest before I go crazy.
Crazy between those two giants and their antics.
I run my palm down to Kael’s coat, but my hand bumps into something hard in its pocket. I opened the flap and fished out a small, plain black velvet box. I studied it for a brief moment.
Suddenly, becoming increasingly curious, I lifted the lid open, and my eyes instantaneously widened, and my jaw dropped.
It was the pink diamond ring he purchased at the auction.
My hands trembled at the thought of how much he had bought it.
This thing costs twice my price.