Hard to accept

**Ethan**

It's been a few days since I had any news from Mariana, and it was eating away at me. I miss her and even miss sleeping on the small and narrow mattress that was too cramped for the both of us.

Recognizing this made me reflect on the irony of the situation because I was now lying in my big and comfortable bed, extremely spacious, surrounded by luxury and all the things money can buy, but I wasn't... happy.

I could claim that since I lost Beatriz, I could never be happy again, but I would be lying shamefully. I loved Beatriz, and when she was with me, I felt fulfilled and happy, but as soon as she distanced herself, I questioned why I accepted all her flaws and tantrums.

The truth is, her loss seems to have blinded me, making me only remember the good times and how happy I felt when we were together.

But the big problem is that we spent very little time together because we were always in crisis, with Beatriz complaining about me working too much, not having enough time for her, and even about my visits to my parent's country house, she would complain and demand that I didn't go as often.

Thinking about my parents made me feel the longing, and I decided that it might be a good time to visit them. It had been weeks since I last visited them, something that was becoming more and more frequent after I became so obsessed with getting revenge on Murilo, the closer I felt to achieving that goal.

Angela and Marcus Constantino had decided to move from São Paulo after the couple's retirement and chose to buy a country house in a relatively nearby city to the capital, Campo Limpo Paulista, where they had been living for years, and I would often visit them as it was less than two hours away.

But Beatriz didn't like it when I was away from São Paulo, and she would get even more upset when I didn't return home on the same day, on the occasions when I chose to spend the night at the country house with my parents and my youngest brother, a little boy who was now ten years old and whom my parents had adopted as a baby, and whom I loved dearly.

I felt a tightness in my chest as I realized how distant I was from my family and all the people I loved the most, and if it weren't so late, I would have packed a suitcase without thinking twice and traveled to spend a few days with my family.

Tomorrow I would do that, I thought, grabbing the TV remote and turning it off, whatever was playing, I wasn't paying any attention. I needed to try to get some sleep; I was physically and emotionally exhausted, and sleep would do me good.

But it was almost impossible to let myself succumb to fatigue and have a good night's rest when I close my eyes and all I see is the image of Mariana storming out of my office, visibly upset and angry, asking me not to contact her anymore. It doesn't leave my mind and it won't let me find peace.

During the day, it became a little easier because I drowned myself in work, focusing on more and more tasks, and not allowing my problems to affect my performance as a businessman. But at night, when I was in my room, everything became harder, and I couldn't achieve the same success.

Although I was certain that it would be another night when I wouldn't be able to sleep soundly at all, I still tried and forced myself to close my eyes, allowing the images of Mariana in many of our moments to freely take over my thoughts.

This sassy and full of attitude, yet caring and gentle girl had managed to affect me like no other, and it was high time I admitted it, and not just to myself.

Without even premeditating it, I did what had been happening every night since she had left my life in an untimely manner and reached under the sheet and pulled my silk pajama pants down, holding my cock and closing my five fingers around the already fully erect volume, just thinking about that crazy girl.

"Mariana, Mariana" I spoke her name, but my voice was nothing more than a tortured moan.

Without delay, my hand was moving up and down her length and the pre-ejaculatory fluid was already lubricating my movements, making them faster and increasing my hardness.

"I need you...

I hadn't thought about it, but my brain put into words what my heart was already screaming, and I was trying to ignore it.

"Ah!

The desire became more intense and urgent, I needed my girl, and my hand would never be a substitute for the warmth and softness of that deliciously impetuous brunette's body, which drove me to delirium just thinking about having her in my arms again.

I felt that the climax was approaching and even though I tried to satisfy myself with a substitute as insignificant as masturbation, only the image recorded in my mind of Mariana taking a shower, the water running down her hard, perky breasts and spilling over her legs into the tempting trinagul0 formed by her pussy, managed to bring me to a powerful orgasm, that even so, managed to leave me sweating and I collapsed on the soft mattress.

I wouldn't wait another day... Tomorrow I would go in search of Mariana and do anything to have that woman by my side, even give up my revenge against Murilo, which had become completely meaningless.

Mariana doesn't know yet, but I would make it very clear to her tomorrow, as soon as I found her, that I would never be capable of using her secret to harm Murilo, not because of him, but because of the woman who had become very important to me.