52

I walking around the buildings in circles, pondering when I realised I was stupid. I picked a fight with him for no reason and should of went to the hospital.

I didn't even know what gave me the urge to drink. People drink all the time and somehow it helps their problems, so how come when I drank, it didn't work?

I made a fool out of myself and should of listened and just went to the damn hospital like he offered. He was being nice in a way and trying to get me help but I was being stubborn and rude.

We weren't together and had a right to go fool around with whoever we wanted. I was being jealous and ridiculous. I figured that out when Val found out. She was pissed at me.

"You did what?"

I sighed and bit my lip. Her arms were folded and she paced around the room angrily. "Let me get this straight, Mia. You got yourself drunk for no good reason, refused his kind offer to take you to the hospital and yelled at him for getting on with his life?"

"Yeah," I said, casually and hoping she wouldn't yell.

She groaned, sitting beside me frowning. "Mia. Why are you jealous?"

"Yeah," I said, casually and hoping she wouldn't yell.

I shrugged, "ask my brain."

Valentina gave me a serious look, "Mia, this isn't funny. You were mad at him for not leaving you alone and now you're mad at him for getting on with his life, even if that means sleeping around with other women? That's not fair."

"Him cheating wasn't fair."

"I know," Val said in a more kinder tone. "But he knows and has apologised. It may not be enough now but at least he's 'moving on'. Isn't that what you wanted?"

I sighed, shaking my head sadly. "I don't know what I want." My voice was shaky and I was nervous for some reason. I didn't know what I wanted.

I loved Vincenzo still, and I guess it still hurt that he was moving on even when I practically told him to.

"You need to figure it out," Valentina said, studying my face. "Soon, because if you still like him and you tell him weeks later, he may have already moved on fully and not want to go back with you. You're kind of leading him on, Mia. You guys are going backwards and forwards. One day, you're not happy with him and the next, you're cuddling and kissing him like old times. It's not okay - for either of you. We keep having these kinds of conversations and they're ridiculous."

I placed my head in my hands, sighing. She was right. "I have three months left," I mumbled, not wanting to cry. "I don't think I can do them. I really don't want to see him."

Valentina placed her hand on my back, kindly. "You want to leave?" A traitor tear slipped out. "I don't know. I don't know how I feel about anything anymore."

"Mia. ."

"Can I be alone?" I asked, tears slipping out my eyes. "Yeah, sure," she said quietly before leaving the room and closing the door behind her. As soon as she did that, I let out a loud sob and curled up into a ball on my bed.

I cried myself to sleep, like I did for the last couple of days and woke up with puffy eyes. I was embarrassed by what I had done and almost scared - no nervous to see Vincenzo again.

I got myself ready and walked into Vincenzo's house wearing makeup and keeping my head high. I didn't want to feel upset.

Closing the door behind me, I turned to see a familiar looking face grinning at me. "Maria!" I exclaimed, pulling her into a short warm hug before moving away. She smiled widely, "Mia, it's great to see you!"

Maria was Leonardo's wife who lived away. Like I mentioned previously, they had two kids and weren't involved in the mafia anymore. Maria was beautiful and had short brown hair and blue eyes that shined brightly. She was kind and we had met briefly before when I was introduced to Vincenzo's family. Maria was a lovely person to be around.

"It's good to see you too - oh, my gosh, how far along are you?" I asked kindly, glancing down at her large bulging stomach. Maria smiled and placed her hand on top of her bump, "eight months." My eyes widened and I smiled brightly, "That's great! Shouldn't you be resting? What are you doing here?"

"Leonardo needed to come because Vincenzo needed him for something. You can never fully leave the mafia," she sighed, her smile fading. I was curious but it didn't look like Maria knew what the 'something' was. Whatever it was, it must of been serious because Vincenzo was never the type to ask for help unless he really needed something.

"I came with him because I didn't want him to miss our baby's birth," Maria explained, smiling again. "The kids are staying with my mum until we get back. What are you doing here? Why are you in a maid's outfit. .unless. ." She gave me a playful look and my eyes widened.

"No, no!" I said quickly, blushing as she chuckled. "I'm working here for a while, cleaning."

Maria frowned, "cleaning? Why would Vincenzo make you clean? Aren't you guys back together?" I smiled sadly, shaking my head.

Maybe he didn't tell her.

"No," I replied, sadly. "We never went back together."

"Aww, Mia," Maria pulled me into a hug, being careful of her stomach. "He shouldn't of cheated on you." I sighed and bit my lip as she pulled away, squeezing my shoulder gently before letting go. "Stay strong." I nodded, blinking back my tears.

She smiled again, "you look beautiful by the way." I thanked her, dabbing the corner of my eyes and she gazed at me sympathetically. "How are you doing?"

I shrugged, "as good as it gets."

"Mia. ." She started but I shook my head, "I'm fine, Maria, don't worry. Where's Leo?" I asked, changing the subject but she didn't seem to notice. "He's in a meeting at the moment with Vincenzo. He should be coming out soon," Maria responded, glancing behind me.