Chapter 35

"Here you go," she says placing my ID card on the counter with a welcoming smile. "His office is on the top floor. Once there, you will meet his secretary who will direct you to his office," she explains.

"Thanks," I say with a nervous smile before heading to the elevator. I grip my bag tightly over my shoulder as tension causes my heartbeat to increase. I sigh in relief when I see the elevator is empty. I press the top floor button and wait silently.

I did some serious thinking after everything that happened yesterday with the kidnapping, rescue, and the hidden truth. I finally came to a conclusion with the help of Elaina.

I am here at Cristian Global Enterprise to meet with Chance, and I am so nervous. What am I going to say, or should I even be here now? These questions keep rolling through my mind, and no matter how prepared I am for this conversation I can't seem to find the right words or the right attitude to this dilemma.

The sound of the elevator opening brings me out of my thoughts. Taking a deep breath, I step out of the elevator and walk to the secretary’s desk. She greets me with a welcoming smile. She is gorgeous. Her light brown hair is tied into a neat bun, and her coffee brown eyes compliment her brown skin.

"You must be Miss Sante," she says walking towards me. "Come with me. Mr. Chance is in his office," she says walking through the hallway with me just behind her looking more tense and anxious.

She comes to a stop in front of a large brown door before knocking lightly. When a voice directs her to come in, she pushes the door open, making me gasp at the view. His office is surprisingly beautiful.

I have never been to my dad or mum's offices, so I can't really compare, but this office is definitely my dream.

"Hailey, you may leave," Chance says.

His secretary, who I now know is named Hailey nods, giving me a pleasant smile before leaving and closing the door behind her. Chance and I sit in intense silence.

I stare at the floor, not knowing what my next move should be. I don't even know where to start, so I just stand here staring at the neatly arranged ties, tense and anxious while Chance’s intense gaze burns through me.

Shiloh, take a deep breath, and relax. You have to do this now. This is the right thing to do. No need to be tense or anxious.

"Shiloh," Chance calls, snapping me out of my pep talk.

Taking a deep breath, I walk towards his desk, still not meeting his gaze before taking a seat in front of him.

"Shiloh, I am so glad you are here today," he says sounding happy.

"I can't say the same," I say under my breath before meeting his gaze.

He is dressed for business with his brown hair combed neatly, which is unusual. His hazel eyes locked on mine.

"Would you like anything?" he asks.

I shake my head.

"Or we could go out for lunch?"

"Chance, that won't be necessary. I am here because I think—no, scratch that—I know I deserve an explanation for everything," I say.

He takes a deep breath before taking a seat beside me and facing me.

"I know you are mad but—"

I glare at him. "I'm not mad. I'm hurt. There's a difference. You loved me and you started ignoring me. Do you realize how much it hurt me to see the person who said he would be the best person to me, change right in front of my eyes?" I say, fighting not to shed any tears. "You knew exactly what you were doing and that's what hurt the most."

"I'm very sorry. I know I hurt you. Please forgive me. I don't wanna lose you and our baby. I love you a lot," he says, taking my hands in his and looking forlorn.

I pull my hands from his. "What do you mean, you're sorry? You broke me. You're sorry that you broke our trust? You're sorry for pushing me down at my lowest? What are you sorry for exactly? Because saying those words doesn’t just fix everything," I say, trying my best not to yell at him with all the bottled-up pain I feel. "You left me shattered and expected me to pick myself up while you were busy with that other woman. Don’t say you're sorry because I know deep down you really aren't."

"Why don't you understand how much your words are hurting me?" he whispers, looking pained with a glimmer of tears in his eyes.

"Oh really? I am hurting you with my words. Can you imagine how I must have felt? Why can't you just tell me what you feel because the way you’re acting is confusing me?" I say sincerely, waiting for his reply.

He runs his hand through his neatly combed hair with a heavy sigh. "Shiloh, please I can't do this right now. Let’s just—"

I stare at him and let the tears run down my cheeks. "Why do you always shut me out? You keep shutting me out of everything that burdens you," I say bitterly. "I sometimes feel you are only with me because you love the way I made you feel, and not because you actually love me. I'm fucking hurt and don't act like you care because if you did, you wouldn't have done what you did. You know what? I wish I could go back to the day I met you and just walk away because honestly it would've saved me so much hurt and pain," I say, picking my bag up before heading towards the door.

If he doesn't want to tell me what’s going on inside his mind or the next step to this, then I have nothing to say or anything I am here for.

Before I can get to the door, he pulls me back by my wrist looking pained. "You. It will always be you. Don't you get that? If I had the choice between you and a million things I've always wanted, I would choose you every single time," he says, lifting up my chin to make me meet his gaze. "I love you very much. Fuck, I did all those things to keep you and the baby safe. I know it doesn't give me the right to hurt you this much."

He rests his forehead against mine with his eyes closed. "I also know I made the wrong decision, which will forever haunt me, but don't you get it? I chose you over anyone else," he says with a single tear running down his cheek. "So please don't ever doubt my love even though I was foolish enough to doubt my love for you at the beginning." I was shocked and confused by his confession.

"Please Shiloh, you can punish me any other way but please don't take my son from me or hate me," he pleads with his eyes still closed as tears run down his cheeks.

My body quakes with sobs. I hug him tightly, burying my face in his chest. "I don't hate you. I'm just disappointed you turned into everything you said you'd never be," I say softly.

We remain in this position for some time. Neither of us is willing to let the other go. We’re scared this moment is just a dream or the moment we let go reality will just push us further away.

I took a deep breath. I memorize his scent, the way his hands wrap around me protectively, and the way his breath tickles my neck giving me goosebumps. I listen to his heartbeat telling me he is really here in my embrace and not just a figment of my imagination.

I take one last deep breath before pulling away from him. "Please show me where the bathroom is," I say, patting my hair down.

He nods, pointing at a wooden door in the left corner of the room. I place my bag on the sofa and walk to the door. I sigh loudly as I close the door behind me and walk to the sink. The bathroom is amazing. I stare at my reflection in the mirror. My eyes are red and puffy from crying. Even my cheeks and nose look red.

I turn the tap on, cupping my hand under the running water to wash my face. I repeat this process before drying my face with a towel hanging beside the sink.

I stare at my reflection. In my head I imagined this conversation would be simple. I would just let him know that I have forgiven him, but I never planned it to be like this. The funniest thing about all this is I feel less burdened, and free after pouring out my emotions. I feel good and more relaxed.

I smile before waking out of the bathroom. Chance’s eyes snap up to look at me. I walk towards him while he sits on the sofa watching my every move.

"Are you okay?" he asks as I take a seat on the opposite sofa.

"Yeah, I am fine," I reply with a nod. "Chance, I have forgiven you but that doesn't mean everything will go back to the way it was," I say, hoping he will understand.

"Yeah, I know. I wasn't actually hoping it would go back to the way it was because I am trying to be a better man," he replies with a smile that melts my heart.

"I'm glad you understand. You can see your son. I am sure your mum signed your name as the legal father."

"Thank you so much. I promise to be a good father," he says with excitement dancing in his eyes.

I laugh lightly not being able to hold my excitement back.

"I miss this," he says.

"Miss what?" I ask.

"I miss seeing you happy."

I roll my eyes at him. I clear my throat loudly trying to compose myself before grabbing my bag from the sofa.

"I should be living now."

"Shiloh, thank you for giving me a chance." He escorts me to the door. When I reach the elevator, I wave goodbye.

I take in a deep breath and then breathe out, feeling a weight lifting off my shoulders. Things are already falling into place.