Chapter 11 SCREAMS I NEVER LET OUT
LILIAN POV
This night had teeth, not sharp ones it's more like the dull kind that drag slow over skin, leaving marks that never heal.
I shouldn’t have been out here. The street stretched ahead like a scar, all cracked asphalt and dead lamps. Wind howled through hollow buildings, dragging wrappers and old leaves across the road.
I told myself I just needed air, a walk actually just anything to stop the pounding in my head.
But it wasn’t my head that hurt, It was this damn hunger.
It had started as a whisper hours ago, while I stared at the ceiling pretending to sleep. Then it became a pulse, a throbbing under my ribs that grew and grew until I couldn’t stand it. My veins felt too tight, my skin too hot. I could taste metal in my mouth even though I hadn’t bitten my tongue.
Don’t do it again, Lilian. Don’t..... but I’d already done it once.
The first one, my first victim though it still haunted me when I closed my eyes. The sound he made, The way I’d sworn I didn’t mean to.
But I did, I mean he did deserve it next time he won't steal from someone at that time of the day.
But right now, am out here again, chasing something I told myself I didn’t want.
There was someone up ahead, a man, maybe in his thirties, walking with a phone pressed to his ear. His voice echoed down the street because everywhere was quiet, it sounded annoyed, drunk and careless.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m almost home. Don’t wait up.” He laughed, the kind of laugh that made me flinch, that's how reckless most idoits are..... might have been his wife his talking to.
I didn’t mean to follow him, my legs just moved like gravity pushed them or something, Every step brought his heartbeat closer... steady, loud and of course delicious. I hated that word "Delicious".
What the hell was wrong with me?
The wind shifted and his scent hit me, it was mixed salt something sweet underneath.
My throat burned and I made to turn back but I just couldn't get myself to do so.
“Stop,” I whispered. “Just stop. Go home... Lilian please Go home before—”
But I didn’t stop, when he turned into the narrow alley beside the old textile warehouse, I followed him like I was his back shadow or something.
He heard my footsteps and spun. “Who’s there?”
I froze Immediately... c'mon say something normal ... say sorry...say you’re lost.
Instead, what came out was a whisper that didn’t sound human.
“Don’t… run.”
He frowned, stepping back. “What the—are you drunk or something?” ugh... see who's talking.
I shook my head hard. “No, I ... I just um...”
The smell of him made my jaw ache and balled my fist aggressively trying to restrict myself from punching on him but this moron couldn't just get the clue and run or something.
He turned to leave. “You need help, lady. I’m calling....”
“Don’t!” I hissed, way too fast giving myself away, The sound echoed, too loud and he stopped, uneasy now like the alcohol in his system just filtered.
Then his tone changed, angry instead of scared. “Back the fuck off.”
He pushed me, and that tiny touch snapped whatever was left of my control. My vision tunneled and everything went red and so damn loud. His heartbeat filled the world beside me, it went ...
Thump...
Thump...
Thump...
I lunged at him at a full force I didn't know I had before, He screamed as we both hit the wall. My fingers locked on his shoulders, my breath ragged against his neck.
“Please,” he gasped, “don’t....”
“I’m sorry,” I said, voice shaking. “I’m so sorry, I just.... I can’t....”
He struggled to get away from me. “Let go of me, you witch!”
That word hit me harder than it should have ......Witch... a monster, freak could do but okay or maybe I was all three.
I tried to stop, I swear I did but the scent of blood was everywhere and my body was already moving before my mind could stop it.
My mouth pressed against his throat and then… I felt the heavenly realize of warmth on my tongue.
The taste hit like fire and lightning at once every nerve alive, every thought drowned in my hunger. His scream turned into a muffled plea, I told myself to stop.
Just one sip.... Just one...
But there’s no such thing as one sip.
His hands went slack against me. The world around blurred both the alley, the buildings, the broken streetlight above. All that existed was pulse, heat and the rhythm of feeding.
When I finally pulled back, he collapsed to the ground, eyes open but empty. My hands trembled as I stared at them all stained, shaking and guilty is not a pretty word to use right now.
“Oh god,” I whispered. “Oh no, not again…”
The night stayed silent even the wind had stopped, Then I heard someone clapped slowly.
My legs went stiff Immediately, a soft voice drifted out of the dark. “Guess someone else is the monster now.”
My stomach dropped I didn’t have to look, I knew that vioce even if I was sleeping.
“Seraphine,” I breathed. “I know you’re there.... Come out.”
She stepped from the shadows like she’d been part of them all along and acted graceful, too calm, her silver eyes gleaming. A faint smirk curved her lips. “You’re getting better at hiding bodies,” she said lightly. “Or worse at hiding guilt.”
I turned on her. “Shut the fuck up.”
Her smile didn’t fade. “Language, sweetheart.”
“It’s not my fault,” I snapped and my throat tightened. “He..... he wouldn’t stop, and I.mmm I can’t control it, okay? I didn’t want this!”
Seraphine circled me slowly, her boots silent on the cracked pavement. “Can’t control it?” she murmured. “Or won’t?”
“I said shut the fuck up!”
I took a step back, my hands were still shaking, blood drying between my fingers. The sight made bile rise in my throat. “You think I enjoy this huh? You think I want to hurt people?”
She tilted her head. “Then stop.”
“I can’t!” I screamed. The word tore out of me, raw and broken. “You don’t know what it’s like...
this thing inside me, it doesn’t listen!”
Seraphine’s smirk vanished and for a second, her voice softened. “You can control it, Lilian. I can teach you.”
I stared at her. “You want me to be like you.”
“No,” she said quietly. “I want you to survive.”
Something in her tone almost sounded… sincere. But the air between us still hummed with tension, the smell of death heavy and sweet.
I looked down at the man on the ground, at what I’d done.
“Survival?” I whispered. “You call this survival?”
She didn’t answer she just watched me with that unreadable gaze.
I took a shaky step back, then another. “ I Am not coming with you.”
Her voice followed me as I turned away. “If you don’t want to come to me…”
She paused, and the darkness seemed to tighten around her words.
“…I’ll come to you instead.”
The wind picked up again, cold and sharp. I didn’t look back, I couldn’t.
By the time I reached the main road, my hands had stopped shaking but only because I’d gone completely numb.
The silence pressed against my ears like a scream I couldn’t let out.
Somewhere behind me, I thought I heard footsteps.
Or maybe it was just my guilt catching up.