Chapter Twenty Nine - Part One

Charlie

All I can remember is the look on Morgan’s face when I stopped into work yesterday. She tried her hardest to keep a neutral look. One minute she looked terrified and the next she had a wide smile across her face. Maxwell refused to let me stay any longer than a few hours, but I only made it an hour because I couldn’t stand Morgan following me around, ready for me to drop dead.

As if coming home would be any better. My once bright, airy home now resembles a cave with its dark curtains and blinds. I have to have almost every single light on within the house to be able to walk the halls.

“I’m going to go work on some things. I might not be able to be at the office, but Morgan is still going to need my help.” I get up and cross the room in hopes of leaving Maxwell behind, but as soon as I pass the couch, he starts to get up. “You. Stay. I’m going to open the curtains to let the sun blind me one last time…okay?”

“Charlie, if you start the transition while you’re in there, I won’t be able to get to you. It’s best if I come with you or keep the blinds closed.” I hear his words, but the look on his face says it all. He feels guilty, and overprotecting me is his solution.

“Well, you can just leave me on the floor until nightfall then.”

“It’s not that easy. The sun will begin to harm you immediately.”

“Well…then it’ll just end this before it even starts, which is probably for the better.” I regret saying the words as soon as they’re spoken, but deep down I can’t help but to agree with them. I’m not a pushover and never saw death as an answer for any of my problems, but sadly it’s a solution for this situation I’ll never be able to get myself out of.

Before I can take one more step, Maxwell is in front of me with his hands harshly gripping my upper arms. The cold look in his eyes reluctantly causes fear to creep into my nerves. His voice is flat and cruel as he lectures me. “If I ever hear you imply or joke about killing yourself again, you will never leave my side. I will become the worst person you can imagine from such irresponsible banter. Do you understand me?”

I yank my arms out of his firm grasp. “And what the hell would you do about it exactly…lock me up? I’ll be just as strong and conniving as you, there would be no way to trap me against my will,” I say just as heartless.

“You won’t have all the power you think you’re going to have right away. Strength and influencing donors is something that comes with age and practice. It’s quite different from your movie vampires. If you want me to speak in your Hollywood terms, newborns are weak. Ending this won’t be as easy as you think either. It takes much more than a few seconds in the sun to kill freshly turned vampires, resulting in it being extremely painful. The real world is very different from fantasy, Charlie.”

I walk away, refusing to let him scare me. I won’t be scared.

“I’ll do whatever it takes…I’ll always do whatever it takes. I love you more than you can imagine and protecting you from harming yourself needs no second thought. You can think of it as cruelty, but I think of it as caring,” Maxwell bellows at me as he follows me through the halls that lead to my home office.

“What you really want to say is that you let it happen once and you won’t let it happen again,” I say as I make it into my office. Hurriedly, I whip the curtains open to stop him from entering. Tears fill my eyes as I stare at his pained expression. I didn’t mean to be so…mean, but there’s no taking back my actions now. I stare at him in the middle of the sun-filled room.

He places his hands on the doorframe, leaning backward to remain out of the light. “You should want to live, Charlie. If not for me, then for yourself at least.”

“If only it were that easy. I don’t want to hurt you, Maxwell, I really don’t, but I need some time to think…some time to just feel normal before it’s taken away.”

“Charlie, just close the curtains and we can talk about this.” Maxwell tries to coax me out of the room, but it doesn’t work.

“There’s nothing to talk about. I’m scared, Maxwell, and that’s not going to go away.” It’s not the fact that I’ll be a walking corpse for all of eternity or being stuck with him by my side…it’s fear, and when I’m scared I push everyone away because I don’t want to be perceived as weak. I’m not weak, but this whole thing is making me into someone I’m not sure I want to become and it scares me to death. Aggressively, I wipe away the tears trailing down my cheeks.

“Charlie.” He’s on the verge of begging.

“I just need to work. It’ll get my mind off it. I just need to…work,” I say into the room. Before all this happened I lived for work and even though that’s going to change very soon, I’m not ready to part with it just yet.

“If you start to feel different or not right, you leave this room immediately,” Maxwell says in the hall, finally compromising with me.

“Yes, Master.”

“Charlie, I mean it.” The seriousness makes my muscles stiffen.

“Yes, Maxwell, I got it,” I yell back.

I turn my back to him to sit at my desk. The only sound that fills the room is the tapping of my pen and my thoughts rambling through my head. Think, Charlie, think, I repeat to myself. No matter how hard I try, no brilliant ideas come to mind to allow me to work in the moonlight instead of the sunlight.

Automatically, I begin to rock myself back and forth in my chair with my mind numb, vacant of any thoughts. I stare at my desk, but I don’t see anything. Physically shaking myself out of the comatose state I find myself trapped in, I stand up to stretch my limbs. Dragging my feet to the door, I decide that working right now isn’t going to happen.

“Charlie, is everything okay?” Maxwell says as soon as I walk out of the room. I catch a glimpse of him sitting on the floor before he stands in my path.

“I’m just tired.” I cover a yawn that escapes my mouth.

“It’s starting,” Maxwell says as he scoops me up in his arms, carrying me away.

I slap him on the shoulder in protest. “Would you put me down? I’m just tired. Haven’t you been tired in the middle of the day before? It happens, you know.”

“You were sitting on your chair for over an hour, staring at the wall, Charlie. This is not tired, this is how it starts. First, you get fatigued and then you fall asleep, similar to being in a coma, so you...”

“So you can die,” I finish for him. I begin the thrash around in his arms. I don’t know why, all I know is that I have to move around…I have to fight this.

“Charlie, Charlie, calm down. You need to relax, you need to let sleep take over, otherwise you will feel it all and it’s not pleasant.”

“All of what?” My voice squeaks with fear.

“We’ve been through this already. Just trust me when I say you don’t want to stay awake through it. I didn’t have anybody to walk me through my change and it was excruciating.” He places me down on the bed. A quick swipe of his hand across my cheek moves my messy hair away.

“There’s no way around this, is there?” For some odd reason I thought maybe if I force myself to stay awake it’ll just prolong the inevitable, but I guess not.

“I wish there was, but your time’s up. When you wake you’ll be different, but the same Charlie everyone loves.”

“Well, almost everyone, obviously.” Flashes of Henry’s evil smile and Daisy’s wicked face occupy my thoughts. I close my eyes, refusing to look at him, refusing to see the reflection of my scared self in his brown eyes.

My breathing gets labored and rougher as I force each breath. My lungs burn from the action, but I have to keep breathing. I have to hold on for as long as possible. Maxwell’s constant whispers of ‘relax’ don’t stop me from doing whatever I can to remain awake. He said not to, but once again I refuse to listen.

The piercing pain in my stomach and tightening in my chest only make it worse, but when the fast hard thumping of my heart gets weaker my eyes shoot open with terror. I expect to be momentarily blinded by the light from the fixture overhead or see a darkened room with shadowed furniture, but I see…nothing. Pitch-blackness surrounds me. Maxwell’s words about the transition sound in my head. First, you’ll lose your sight.

“Maxwell. Maxwell,” I yell into the vacant room. My arms swing from side to side in efforts of feeling something, anything.

“Charlie.” The concern in Maxwell’s voice only makes more panic grow, but the feel of his cold hands that clasp around my arms bring some relief.

“I can’t see, Maxwell, I can’t see anything.” My voice is distorted with distress.

“It’s okay…it’s okay. Things are gradually happening and everything is fine.” I feel one of his hands lay over the top of my head. He speaks directly into my ear, but for some reason it sounds as if he’s miles away. “You need to let go. Accept it. Accept it and you won’t be afraid any longer. I’m right here and I won’t leave your side until you wake. Just close your eyes and take one deep breath…”

Obeying his orders, I close my eyes and suck in a deep breath. The pain hitches my breathing, but I make the air enter my dying lungs. My fingers try to scratch at my chest as if the action would get my heart to pump faster again. Nonetheless, Maxwell moves his hands from my arms to my hands to get them to stop.

“…and slowly exhale.”

The breath rushes out through my pursed lips. My chest begins to rise to take another breath, but Maxwell stops me. I strain my ears to hear what he has to say.

“One more and after you exhale this time, Charlie, don’t take another one. This time just imagine yourself drifting off to sleep. Breathe in…breathe out…and let go.” His last words of let go are the last thing I hear before a quiet buzzing fills my head. The pain ceasing my senses fades away, leaving me alone…empty. The touch of Maxwell’s hands, which are supposed to be holding mine, vanishes, but I trust him to keep his word of not leaving my side.

I have barely enough time to finish my thought before the small rise in my chest stops, before my heart thumps for the last time, and before my brain can’t comprehend words any longer.