Chapter 30 Unresolved issues
Steven stood before me, my first mate. My heart skipped a beat, and I felt a chill fill my chest. Steven's posture was impeccable, as always. His Luna was beside him, wearing a dress that was far too flashy.
Memories of the recent past came flooding back. I remember when our eyes met and we discovered we were mates. His eyes widened, and then filled with disgust.
Steven grabbed my arm tightly and dragged me through his house, to the attic. His gaze was pure hatred, and I was too confused to do or say anything.
"By the blood that runs in me and by the Moon that guides me, I reject you! May your path continue without mine," he said angrily.
My eyes widened, and my mouth dropped open in complete shock. I felt the bond breaking inside my chest; it burned as if live embers were inside me.
"What did I do wrong? I can..." Steven interrupts me before I finish speaking.
"It's not about wrongdoing." He interrupted, running his hand through his hair, looking impatient. "It's about who you are."
His words cut deeper than a knife. I lower my head, ashamed.
"Are you going to break the bond out of shame?" I ask, staring at the floor, unable to meet my mate's eyes, which were filled with disgust. "I am your mate."
"You're a caregiver! Look at yourself!" He points in my direction.
I didn't know if Steven was referring to my hands, which were covered in soap. To the scarf that hid my hair and eyes. Or if he was talking about my torn, worn, and patched dress. But I looked closely at myself and then at Steven.
His neat and expensive clothes. His soft hands and well-cared-for skin. Steven had no flaws to hide; he didn't need a hood.
"I'm not going to waste my time with you!" he says offensively, speaking louder. "The moon was completely wrong to bring us together. So accept my rejection!" he demands, trying to use his alpha control to persuade me.
"Please, Steven..."
I fall to my knees, but Steven pulls away before I can touch him.
"Now!" His cry comes out as a roar.
I swallow hard, feeling tears stream down my face. I breathe slowly, trying to find the strength to speak amidst the pain.
"By the blood that runs through me and by the moon that guides me, I accept the end of this bond and go on alone," I say, my voice trembling.
My whole body trembled, and I could barely find the strength to breathe.
"Forget I exist!" he says rudely and leaves, slamming the door shut.
I remain kneeling on the floor. I lie down and allow myself to cry. I feel Harper weakened, crying along with me. The pain of rejection and the shame consumed me. I wasn't considered worthy, not even by my partner.
"My life?" Conrad calls my attention, holding my hand.
I finally return to the present, leaving the painful memories of the past behind.
"Forgiveness," I ask, looking at Conrad.
I no longer needed to remember the past, because I had exactly everything I needed now.
Now there was music in the valley and some couples were dancing happily. The atmosphere, initially tense, was beginning to become welcoming. Everyone was having fun and some still kept their attention on us.
I was no longer a caregiver. I was no longer someone lonely, begging on my knees for love. I look at my mate, who gave me everything I needed, without me ever having to ask or beg. I was different. I was the future queen of this kingdom and I needed to act like one.
"Alpha Steven," Conrad greets him, to get his attention.
Steven also looked at me surprised, as if he were dreaming. After Conrad's greeting, Steven seems to return from his thoughts. His face is no longer calm; his expression is one of pure worry.
Steven didn't seem to expect to see me there. I concluded that my old pack still didn't know I was Conrad's mate. Even if someone saw my call, no one knew my name. Not even the caretakers knew me.
"Luna Maya..." I see Steven swallow hard. "I bring a gift on behalf of my pack."
Steven extends the gift toward me and bows before approaching me. His gaze doesn't meet mine; his head is lowered. The jewel he extends toward me is trembling, along with his hands.
Was Steven afraid? I stare at his expression, trying to decipher him. But I don't know the man in front of me, and I don't know what's going on in his head. I take the jewel and stare at it.
It was a pure gold necklace, heavy and adorned with whole moons, a jewel of purity. I felt my stomach churn. It was a jewel forbidden to me, just like the ones I couldn't wear today.
"It's a jewel of great significance. It helps us remember where we came from and where we belong now."
The phrase, disguised as courtesy, seemed like a demand. I look at him and see that Steven was already staring at me. His gaze was cold, and some time ago, it would have caused me pain. But I felt nothing anymore. No emotion.
"I remember very well where I came from," I say firmly.
I see some in the hall watching me attentively, awaiting my next words.
"And I didn't need to forget who I was to get here."
Steven paled. Not from fear, but from recognition.
"Your pack has my gratitude," I say with a small smile of thanks.
An employee takes the jewel to where all the others are. Steven bows again along with his Luna and leaves.
"Are you alright, my love?" Conrad asks, holding my hand.
I flash him a smile, completely fascinated by my worried mate.
"Why wouldn't I be?" I ask with a smile.
"Steven is the alpha of your old pack." He observes, looking at me intently. "Did you feel uncomfortable being in his presence?"
Then I finally remembered that I hadn't yet revealed who my old mate was. I hadn't confided this, by Conrad's own choice. But it was something I needed to know.
We still had more events where Steven would be present, and I didn't want Conrad to find out from other people.
"We'll talk about it later," I say, noticing another alpha approaching.