Chapter 54

I leave the room and cloak myself again to rush to the hot springs, anxious and needing to see Hamza. I cast the spell aside before I reach the door. Hud stands straighter when he sees me.

“Your Highness,” he greets me.

“Hello Hud. How are you?”

“I’m a happy man.” He smiles, and I laugh at the proof of his statement. “I actually wanted to ask a favor of you.”

“Anything.”

“I know there will be a lot of beautiful dresses worn at the wedding, and I didn’t want Zaynah to feel any less beautiful than she is, so I had a dress made for her. I want it to be a surprise so can I bring it to you later tonight, and you can give it to her to change into before the ceremony?”

“Of course. I’m sure she will love whatever you had made.”

“I certainly hope so.”

“I will be awake when the shifts change to take it from you.”

“Thank you,” he says before opening the door for me.

I enter the hot springs, continuing to the private room until I close the door to it behind me.

“Hamza.” I hurry to call out.

He appears, in a loose black sleeveless shirt, thin black pants that come to just before his ankles. Tears come to my eyes the moment I see him holding another azure rose in his hand. He walks towards me, extending it between us as he gets closer.

“You couldn’t have known I would summon you tonight. How did you know to have a rose?” I ask hoarsely.

“I have been waiting with a rose every night since I last saw you,” he says.

I fly into his arms. He moves the rose out of the way just in time to avoid me crushing it when I crash into his chest. His free hand settles on my back, gently stroking there. I breathe in his scent, letting it give me a false sense of calm.

“I love you,” I whisper.

He kisses the top of my head, his lips lingering there and his arm tightening around me.

“There is much to discuss. Things to talk about that I wish we didn’t have to, but first I just want to lay with you. To hear your heartbeat under my ear. To be content, if only for a little while. Do you think we have the time?”

“We will make the time, my heart,” he answers.

He lets go of me and walks over to the towels that are quickly becoming my favorite place to lay and forget the world with him. He lays them on the floor again, this time closer to the hot spring. When he sits down, his feet disappear into the water until it reaches his ankles. He extends his hand to me and when I place it in his, he pulls me down beside him. I remove my slippers and put my feet in the warm, comforting water while Hamza lays back on the towels. Turning sideways to lay on him, my right foot comes out of the water and then dips back in as I get situated.

Then I get my wish. I hear that heartbeat that I cherish so much beneath my ear, the rhythm of it thuds against my cheek. I close my eyes and savor this moment. Because as brave and hopeful as I’m trying to be, there is a part of me that dreads I will never have this moment again. I feel wetness slide down my face and onto Hamza’s chest. His hand quickly grabs me by the chin, lifting my face towards him.

His eyebrows drop in sadness and question.

“This is everything to me Hamza,” I croak. “Being here with you, in your arms. No matter how unsure the future has felt and feels right now, you are my safety. You are my promise that there is better in this world than what I have seen.”

He brings his lips to mine, placing a soft kiss on them, using his thumbs to wipe under my eyes.

“What do you want to say my love?” I whisper.

“I do not even feel alive the days when I don’t see you. These moments, however stolen and far between, are what woke me up from the stupor I was in and had been in for years since my banishment. To see you, to hear you, to feel you, it is what makes my heart beat day after day. Tell me what I can do to help. Please.”

My shoulders drop with what I must ask him to do. I have gone back and forth with myself over it again and again, if I should ask this of him, if there is any other way to achieve my goal without it. But I cannot see another way.

“What do people say when they summon you? When they need you to right a wrong?”

His eyebrows furrow, but he answers. “There’s no formal words to say. They tell me what has been done, or they start by telling me who they want killed.”

I nod and take a deep breath. “I need you to kill Arwa and Azar.”

He blinks rapidly at first, until they slow down and a smile begins to form.

“Is that within your powers, to kill them now that they are in Nur?”

“Their intentions must warrant it. And you must give me specific injustices they have committed.”

“Arwa has killed many Hamzas when they were freshly out of the womb, and other witches to lengthen her own life. Azar has killed two wives, and let many women be harmed under his rule. Is that enough?”

“More than enough. I will do it tonight.”

“No,” I hurry to say. “I told you I would marry Azar and I shall. I need to become Queen of Sameer to protect Nur and be able to be in a position to better Sameer after all this is over. But after the wedding, after the feast, Widad will do a spell to weaken Arwa more than performing the ceremony will. She says her spell will work for an hour. That is when you must strike. And even weakened I fear what level of power will remain in her. I beg you to be careful. She will have fight in her. You will be careful, right?”

“Of course. But I am asking myself where you will be. After the feast, while I am with the witch.”

“I will be in my bedroom with Azar. I will buy as much time as I can so you have time to kill the witch. She must be killed first because of the protection she gives to Azar. I do not think we will be able to kill him until she no longer breathes. So I will distract him until I feel enough time has passed.”

His face hardens at my answer.

“It must be this way. You need time after the feast when Arwa will be alone and vulnerable. When Widad can go back to her room and cast the spell to weaken Arwa. And I will be with Azar, so my father will not be concerned with what I am doing. I will summon you to the room, just in case fulfilling the summons by killing Arwa sends you into banishment again. We can’t take the risk that I am waiting for you to come and you are back in Shams, unable to get to me and Azar. So, I will summon you again, hoping I’m not calling you too early.”

He gestures towards his mouth angrily.

“What do you want to say?” I ask, although I already know.

“No. I do not want you alone with him. I know you can defend yourself, but he will take great pride in hurting you. I cannot bear to think of you suffering at his hands.”

“I have to be in the room with him or my father will surely hear of it and come to see what’s going on. And for the plan to work, I must have the guards from Sameer know that their king is dead, and I am the ruler they have now. What better way to do that than to open the door and show them his dead body when I do?

“I will have weapons of my own in my bedroom,” I continue. “Just in case things go too far and I must use them. I will not be helpless. But,” I sit on my hunches, bringing my hands to the sides of his face. “I need you to not think of me. I need you to focus on the witch. She is a threat, even weakened. Focus only on her and making it back to me safely. If you were to get hurt or…” I choke on my words. “Please Hamza. Do you think the plan will work?”

“I promise you that it will. And you know I cannot lie. The plan will work, and they will die. But… I am wondering why I feel your hesitation in asking this of me.”

“When I first started learning what being Hamza meant, you said something about it being your purpose. That you couldn’t have been anything else. It has always bothered me. That you didn’t have a choice in what or who you wanted to become. That the marks on your neck decided everything for you. And yet, here I am, asking you to kill, asking you to use your sword for me. In a way, I feel like I’m using you. Forcing you to further be something that you never chose. Please, will you tell me honestly if you feel that way at all?”

“I don’t. I have never felt trapped by my marks, by being born a Hamza. I am who I am, and I do not wish I was anything or anyone else. I am vengeance’s sword, the justice and balance in this kingdom. I have never felt used by those who called upon me, and I do not feel used by you. Never you, my heart.”

He smiles, a grim one. “I do not think I have ever taken such joy in being Hamza as I will with the witch and Azar. Do not feel bad for calling on me to fulfill my purpose. It is what and who I am. Few things would bring more balance and peace to Nur than ridding it of Azar and the threat he poses. But even more importantly, and dear to me, is that what I do protects the woman I love from him.”

My guilt assuaged, I nod. “Make sure when I call you to my room, you are whole. You will need your strength to fight Azar. And possibly the guards he brought with him from Sameer. After, we will go to meet with the council.”

I tell him of the meeting I just had with them in Maryam’s office.

“Do you think I can trust them?” I inquire.

“I do not know. This…Hunayn, maybe you should summon me against him. Then we won’t have to worry about it.”

“I don’t quite know of anything that would warrant you being called for him. He’s a snake, but not a murderous one.” I chuckle. “But I hope it doesn’t come to that, and they all hold fast to what they said they would do. Then I will be queen. Then I will be free. Then you will be free.”

We stay there a little longer, as long as I dare knowing Azar is in this palace, and that my father’s guards may still watch me. When we stand, Hamza tips my chin up so he can kiss me, slow and deep, his tongue sliding against mine in the most tempting way before he withdraws.

“I must go. I have to get married tomorrow,” I say.

His top lip curls, and I grin at his expression.

“Don’t worry, if all goes according to plan, I won’t be married for long. Do you think you’ll have any trouble loving a widow?” I joke.

He laughs, and the sound rushes through me, lighting up every one of my nerves. I take the sound and put it into the recesses of my heart, hoping to hear it again and again when this is all over.

“I will love only one widow. Especially since she will also be queen twice over.”

“I love you,” I say, pleading in my voice that this isn’t the last time I say it.

His eyes narrow when I don’t ask him any questions, but I can’t ask what I usually do. I can’t hear him say words that would chip away at my resolve to put him in danger. To risk going through with a plan that could take him away from me or me away from him. Instead I ask a direct question, as much as it hurts to.

“Do you love me?”

“More than words can say,” he answers low.

I kiss him one more time. “Go,” I whisper against his lips.

He leaves and rain is my only companion as I let my tears of fear and a dreadful hope fall.