Chapter 158 Unwanted Memories
A week later…
Saturday afternoon settled quietly over the house, sunlight filtering softly through the curtains and casting warm patterns across the room. It should have been a calm day, slow, easy but for Amelia, nothing about it felt calm.
Her room looked like a storm had passed through it.
Clothes were scattered across the bed, some tossed aside carelessly, others folded and unfolded too many times to count, as if no option ever felt quite right. Shoes lay on the floor, abandoned after being considered and rejected one after the other. While Amelia was doing what she does whenever she was tensed: pacing.
She stopped abruptly in front of the mirror, staring at her reflection.
Her brows were slightly drawn together, her lips pressed into a thin line, her expression caught somewhere between frustration and uncertainty.
She didn’t look bad.
In fact, she looked good.
But that wasn’t the problem.
A knock came at the door before it opened slightly.
Rebecca stepped in, leaning casually against the doorframe as her eyes swept across the room, taking in the mess with a quiet kind of disbelief.
"…Should I be worried?" she asked, one brow lifting slightly. Amelia had called her earlier, saying she was in a dilemma, and Rebecca had rushed over thinking it was something serious only to find out it was about a date and not knowing what to wear.
Amelia turned to look at her, exhaling softly as though she had been holding that breath for a while.
"I don’t know," she admitted.
Rebecca stepped fully into the room, closing the door behind her before glancing at the bed again.
"You’ve changed outfits, what… five times?" she asked, her tone light but amused.
Amelia gave a small, distracted shrug, her attention drifting.
"Something like that."
Rebecca watched her for a moment, her expression softening slightly before she crossed her arms.
"You’re nervous." She said.
Amelia hesitated.
Then nodded.
"Yeah."
Rebecca tilted her head slightly, studying her more carefully now.
"Why?" she asked. "I thought you’ve been talking to this guy for a while now. You like him, don’t you?"
Amelia looked away almost immediately, as if the question had hit somewhere deeper than expected.
Her fingers toyed absentmindedly with the edge of her sleeve.
"I do," she said quietly.
Rebecca stepped closer, her voice gentler now.
"Then what’s the problem?"
There was a pause.
Amelia opened her mouth to answer.....
Then closed it again, the words refusing to come out.
She shook her head. "What if I don't like him, what if the connection we have online is not there anymore, what if he realizes I'm not worth all the stress," she was still saying when Rebecca walked closer and pulled her into a hug.
"You're worth more than you think Amelia and if this guy doesn't realize it, then it's his loss not yours." Rebecca replied, patting her back. She had always seen Amelia happy and jovial, seeing her like this, questioning her self worth was heartbreaking.
"And if he does something you don't like, tell me I will kick his ass." She added.
"Thank you Becca." Amelia replied with a chuckle. It felt nice having someone by her side.
"And another thing, if you’re this nervous, maybe that’s a sign you actually like and care about this guy."
Amelia forced a small smile, one that didn’t quite reach her eyes.
"Maybe." She does care, maybe more than she is even supposed to and that brought back memories, one she doesn't want to remember.
But even as she said it, her mind had already drifted somewhere else.
Somewhere she didn’t like going.
The memory came quietly.
Uninvited.
Like it always did.
The night of prom.
Everything had seemed perfect at first, almost like something out of a dream she hadn’t dared to hope for.
She had trusted him.
Trusted the way he smiled at her, the way he spoke, the way he made her feel like she mattered. She had even been naïve enough, delusional enough to believe that he had loved her, that he had seen past all the things people had mocked her for and had chosen her anyway, for who she truly was.
But that night hadn’t ended the way she thought it would.
Everything had been nearly perfect…
Until it wasn’t anymore.
Her fingers tightened slightly at her sides.
The feeling of unease crept back in.
The exact moment things had shifted.
The subtle change in his tone, in his behavior.
The realization slow, creeping, terrifying that something wasn’t right.
That she had misjudged him.
That she hadn’t seen it coming.
Amelia blinked, pulling herself back to the present, but the thought lingered stubbornly.
What if it happens again?
What if she was wrong this time too?
Her chest tightened slightly, the anxiety settling deep.
Maybe this is why online was easier…
Behind a screen, there were no risks like that.
No uncertainty about intentions.
No fear of being alone in a moment that suddenly turned wrong.
No wondering if the person in front of you was real…
Or something else entirely.
Her lips pressed together.
Maybe she wasn’t cut out for this.
Maybe it was better to keep things distant.
Safe.
Controlled.
Her gaze dropped briefly.
Am I even worth it?
The thought slipped in quietly.
She inhaled slowly, shaking her head almost immediately as if to physically push the thought away before it could take root.
"No," she muttered under her breath.
She wasn’t going to do this.
Not today.
Not again.
Amelia straightened slightly, lifting her head, forcing herself back into the moment.
"Get it together," she told herself softly.
Rebecca was watching her now, her expression more observant, more concerned than before.
"You sure you’re okay?" she asked.
Amelia nodded quickly, almost too quickly.
"Yeah," she said, forcing a small but steadier smile. "I’m fine."
She walked back to the bed, picking up one of the dresses she had laid out earlier, a simple black gown, not too flashy, not too plain.
Safe.
She held it up for a second, studying it, then nodded to herself as if making a final decision.
"This one."
Rebecca smiled faintly, relief slipping into her expression.
"Finally."
Amelia let out a small breath, the tension in her shoulders easing just slightly as she moved to get dressed.
As she stood in front of the mirror again, now properly ready, she paused for a moment.
Her reflection stared back at her.
Calm.
Put together.
Composed.
But beneath that...
There was still a flicker of uncertainty.
Still a quiet fear she hadn’t fully shaken.