CHAPTER 25 Healing

Zara’s POV.

“Oh.. Flame.. “ My words come out as a whisper as I gaze upon Flame's sleeping and bandaged form. The knot of guilt I have carried all these weeks tightens at the sight of him. He has been either asleep or staring blankly at the ceiling for weeks now. I have been running the tribe.. My pack had joined the tribe permanently. There were a lot of injuries from fights and attacks. Bigotry was a huge issue too.. at first anyway.. but it had all but dissipated now. I was relieved, It had been rather stressful. I came to check on Flame after my duties every day. I also stayed in the emporium at night. I hated the castle alone. Thorn and Jade had moved out of the castle and down to the beach. They were selling fish tacos and sandwiches in a little shop together.

“What is it, princess..?” He asks, startling me out of my thoughts, his voice is scratchy from lack of use. The poison made it so he could not heal properly.. Grisket had to help him heal his wounds using human methods. No magic would work. According to her, he was physically fine now.. Yes the bandages stayed on to prevent infection but he was fine to get out of bed now..

“I am so so sorry..” Flame opens his eyes, squinting from the sun shining on him.

“You have no reason to be sorry. You saved me. I am thankful for that..” His tone is monotonous. His tone hurts. Closing his eyes he takes a deep shaking breath.

“Do you need anything?” I ask the question timidly. I don't know what he's feeling about me right now.. Sometimes he is bitter and short with me. Other times he is sweet and loving.

“You” The word slips from his lips in a whisper. It is so faint I almost don't think I heard him say it. Thinking I heard him wrong I ask him to repeat himself.

“What did you say..?”

“Nothing princess, please go rest. I'm sure you’ve had a long day..”

“But you did say something.. You asked for-'' Stopping, I shake my head and frown at him. “Never mind..” As I turn to leave I hear him sigh it is a deep and sad sigh. I can hear him mumbling something as I leave the room entirely. That was strange.. He is so different now.. Cold and distant. He pushed me away so often now.. I hate Medusa and my father. They caused his suffering.. His mental anguish was their fault.. I swiftly walked into Grisko’s room and shut the door hard behind me. A deep and sad sigh is all I manage before I plop down and curl up in an armchair. Sobs shake my frame as I sit there. My head in my hands. I cry for hours. Curled up in an awkward position, the guilty thoughts about being the reason Flame went through what he did overwhelm all else. I hated myself for what happened. For what I had done.. I was a failure.. I didn't deserve Flame or Grisko.. What if they don’t even love me.. I bet they hate me for what happened.. That must be Flame’s problem.. He hates me. He is angry with me. He must be.. Crying still harder, I start to hyperventilate now.

“Hey pup- What’s wrong!” Grisko rushes to my side. “What happened?” He pushes me when I don't speak. “What hurts? What’s wrong?” Peeking through my fingers at Grisko I take a deep shuddering breath and yell out.

“Flame hates me! He must hate me!” His face drops from concern to grim understanding, he moves my hands away from my face. Grabbing them up in his own hands.

“He does not hate you.. He is.. Uh.. healing.. He has some mental wounds that will take time.. Lots of time.. To heal.”

“But!” Grisko shakes his head firmly.

“No. You have done nothing wrong. We are proud of you and proud of what you went through to protect us.”

“How can you be.. I failed..” Glaring at me Grisko sighs exasperated.

“Because I am. What else am I supposed to say? You didn’t fail.” I shrug at him and look down at my feet. Not able to shake the guilt that is pressing in on me from all sides.

“Okay.” It is all I manage. I do not want to give him another reason to glare at me..

“Oh pup.. You're going to be okay.” I nod as fresh tears land on my feet.

“I love you..” I whisper it. I am too nervous to say it any louder. Grisko stiffens and looks at me perplexed. He stares unblinking. When I frown and start to cry again thinking he isn’t going to respond back to me, He speaks. Hesitation laces every word.

“I- Uh.. love- you too..” His tone startles me. Anger flares in me as I think about all the sex we had in the last few weeks.

“Am I just a sex toy to you? Someone you can lead on?” Grisko shakes his head hard.

“No! I just-” I interrupt him.

“Then why can’t you tell me you love me? And you have to mean it!” Grisko nods this time at me.

“I have never said that to anyone romantically before!” He sighs. “I was nervous! I'm sorry.” Just like that, guilt swallows me again. It makes me nauseous.

“Oh..” I glare at my feet again. How stupid am I.. I should've known- All these weeks and he hasn't said it yet. It was obvious. How stupid could I be? I really love to make a fool of myself all the time..

“I love you..” This one is strong and meaningful. I laugh joyfully and look up at him. Grisko wraps me in a warm and tight embrace, Kissing my head as he does.

“I love you too.” My response is muffled by his robes covering my face. I inhale deeply enjoying the smell of him. Letting it fill me up. Letting it wrap me in a strong sense of safety and relaxation.