Chapter 25 — Carson

“Duuude!” came a jovial voice from the door of my gym.

As I was lying face-up on the bench I couldn't see who it was, so I continued my strenuous workout with the weights.

My muscles burned as I raised and lowered the heavy barbell, but I welcomed the pain and continued.

Soon not only the steel bar and the geometric pattern of the ceiling was in my line of sight. The upside-down image of a head of brown hair and a raised dark eyebrow had entered the mix.

“Didn't you hear me call you?” Casper asked.

“I hardly... think my mother... named me dude,” I puffed out, slightly miffed that my exercise regime had been interrupted.

“What? Dude, you're not being intelligible right now.”

Finally giving in to the irritation that Casper brought I slammed the barbell on the rack and sat up.

“The fuck are you doing in my house?” I heaved as I tried to catch my breath.

“I came to check up on you, find out what's going on. Man, the ladies miss the ol' C-train! When are you getting back out there?”

“As soon as I fire whoever the idiot is that let you in,” I swiped my water bottle from the floor and took in a mouthful. When I was sure the burning in my throat and arms were gone I sprayed some water on my face, grabbed the towel lying on the floor and stood up.

“Haha. Hilarious. But I'm serious, Carson,” Casper's voice was like an annoying bee in my ear as I walked out of the gym. Seeing as his voice didn't decrease in intensity it meant he was following me, and I shook my head. “Why is it that I always have to keep doing this?”

“Doing what?”

“Making sure you haven't been murdered when you don't show up to a party in a week.”

“No one asked you to, bro.”

“Yes, but that's exactly what friends are for. Do you remember what that is?”

I scoffed and finally stopped at my bedroom door. Turning I found Casper in unfashionable cargo pants and a bland t-shirt.

“I'm done with trying to guess this. Just tell me what I can say that will get you out of my house and back where you came from.”

“Nothing,” he folded his arms.

“Nothing. Goodbye,” I deadpanned and entered my room, slamming the door and locking it.

“Smooth. You're going to come out of there sooner or later and I'll be waiting.”

“Go away, Casper. You don't need me to follow you every time you want to go out.”

I made a mental note to let the people at the front door know that not everyone can just waltz into my house uninvited.

The first thing I did was to go through the notifications on my phone.

As usual, it was filled with lots of messages regarding work but none from the person I actually wanted to talk to. I sighed and rubbed my temples in frustration.

It had been three weeks since Orlando and I hadn't heard a peep from Butterfly. It was like she just dropped off the face of the earth.

No calls, no messages and all my texts had gone unread and unanswered.

I was beginning to think that it must have all been a dream but every time the thought popped up I remembered the feel of her lithe body beneath mine, her skin so smooth it would put velvet to shame and her moans the sound of a thousand angels in unison.

She was in my thoughts a lot and I was sure if I didn't hear from her soon I would lose my mind.

For the fiftieth time today, I resisted the urge to call Big Mac.

He had been doing his best to find out who she really was, and I knew I had to give him time, but I was not good with waiting. Even worse with having patience.

So keeping with the way this sequence usually went, I turned to my other obsession.

I sat at my work desk and with a press of a button my MacBook instantly came to life, displaying the page I was viewing before.

For the past three weeks, I had been following the money trail on the bogus test site that I had discovered in Orlando.

If I couldn't get my girl I was sure as hell going to get that asshole.

My investigation led me to find that it wasn't only test sites that the bastard had been collecting money for: there was equipment that was never bought, offices that were never built and useless land that could never hold a plant not to talk of a building.

Money in millions was being siphoned by someone through all these fake ventures and using my signature.

I slammed a hand on my desk.

How could I have been so stupid?

It was a big problem, and it should've gone to Big Mac for immediate exposure of the culprit, but I wasn't going to. Not only because some news on Butterfly was more important but because I was too ashamed and angry that I had let this happen under my watch.

I was going to start sniffing out the asshole. My first action was to halt all disbursement of money. Only the necessary things like payments of salaries were to go on unhindered but every other thing requiring money — even the tiniest — had to go through my table, be verified before getting so much as a cent.

It was something I just tossed a cursory glance at before but now, I was going to be much more vigilant.

I was sure that once the board of directors got a wind of this there'd be hell to pay but I didn't care at the moment.

A pounding on my door made me groan. Then Casper's voice filtered in through the door.

“Carson, come on out bro. How long are you going to stay in there?”

“As long as it takes for you to realize I don't want you here and leave.”

“Well good luck with that. The only way I'm leaving is if you're right beside me.”

I rolled my eyes and continued reading the files I had the accounting department sent over.

The pounding on my door came again and this time I had had it with Casper.

I practically tore the door open and dished a withering glare to Casper. “You're a whiny son of a bitch, you know that? What part of go away do you not understand? I have a lot to deal with right now. My company is on the verge of being hemorrhaged dry and I'm worried sick about a woman I may or may not be in love with, so if you know what's good for you you'll leave me the hell alone.”

“But...” Casper started with a defeated look.

“Get out!”

I slammed the door shut and just stood behind it, not able to bring myself to go back to what I was doing with the way I just went off on Casper.

He had good intentions but boy was he so annoying with them.

After a while, I heard a very dejected sigh and very soon I knew I was alone in my house.

I raked my hand through my hair and tugged until the roots hurt.

My frustration levels were through the roof and now I was taking it out on people who tried to help.

Picking up my phone I called the first person I could think of to vent to.

“Hey there, Car,” Diana answered on the third ring.

I let out a sigh and slid down the footboard and to the carpet. “Life is so unfair.”

“Not the words I would expect from Carson Miller but ok,” her voice softened. “What's going on? It must be bad enough that you decided to call.”

I tugged my hair again. “I just don't know what to do. What did I do wrong? Why on earth would she just disappear? I mean I know I don't exactly have the best track record when it comes to relationships or women, but I was willing to try, I showed her I was willing to try. Or maybe I wasn't clear enough that I wanted to try with her?” I hit my hand on my forehead repeatedly. “Stupid, stupid, stupid. That's probably why she ran, she had no idea.”

“Ok hon,” Diana started. “You're rambling. Let's start from the beginning, ok? Can you do that?”

The pain in my scalp was starting to spread and soon my frustration reached its peak, and my meltdown began.

“Car?”

“It's just so hard, Di,” I managed through the cascade of tears. “It's just so fucking hard. Between Butterfly and my company, I can't help feeling so unworthy. I can't get anything right. The one time when I find someone who makes me feel complete, I ruin it. My company that I actually thought I had a handle on was not ok to begin with. Di, everything's just against me. I can't get anything right.”

I had no idea if Diana was still on the phone as I sobbed away.

My heart ached as I sat on my bedroom floor, crying.

For Butterfly, for my company. Most importantly, for me.

The salty tears rolled freely down my face until there was no more.

“There, there, let it all out,” I heard Di consoling. “It'll be alright.”

“I'm sorry,” I apologized and cleaned my face. “I had no idea things had gotten this bad.”

“Don't be. You'd be shocked how much catharsis crying brings. Besides, I like that you know I'm that friend you can call at two in the morning to cry to.”

I remembered that Di was all the way in Tuscany where the time zones were different and groaned.

“I'm sorry, did I wake you?”

She gave a soft chuckle. “It doesn't matter.”

There was silence as I tried to pull myself together.

“You want my advice? Take a step or two back. Get a massage, take a nap, read a book. After that take a look at everything again. You'd be surprised by how much you can accomplish when you're not thinking about the problem.”

Diana was right. I needed to detach from everything. I was too wound up.

I had been obsessing over finding the thief and beating myself up because of Butterfly. I needed some me-time.

“Thanks. Sorry for waking you.”

“While I have you, I'm finally free from this hellhole next Saturday I was hoping you could come over and we could have a party? How does that sound?”

I chuckled. “That sounds great, Di. I'll be there.”

“Till then. Take care, Car, really.”

I cut the call and immediately knew where to go to loosen up.

I closed my laptop as soon as I stood up. I did not need to be sucked back into that. My intention today was to keep my mind as far away from everything that had been plaguing me.

After a quick shower and putting on a completely black outfit — consisting of a black turtleneck, pants, and suede combat boots — I got into one of my sleek Ferraris and within two minutes I was on my way to the House on the Hill.

I had left my house with only my membership card and my trusty pair of aviators. My phone and laptop had been left behind because all I intended to do was have a drink and relax.

Throwing my keys to a valet I sighed as I entered the elevator and swiped my card on the console.

As the doors opened I couldn't help but remember the last time I was in this exquisite high-end club.

I was worrying about Butterfly and now I was trying to forget her.

The irony.

I shook my head and chided myself for deviating from my plan.

I looked around for Amber as I walked to the bar and ordered a whisky.

“Keep 'em coming,” I told the pretty brunette bartender whose only reply was a sly smile as I downed the whole thing in one gulp.

I was on my fourth glass when a silvery voice pronounced its order of a gin and tonic on the rocks.

The liquor had already been in my system in sufficient amounts so that when I turned to find the owner of the voice I wasn't the least bit annoyed that it was Artemis Markus.

“Hello love,” she greeted with a provocative tilt of her head.

“You,” was all I said as I once again emptied the crystal tumbler before me.

“Yes me. I saw you from across the room and thought you could use the company.”

I scoffed and watched as my glass was refilled. “I don't need your company. I've got one that's way less chatty,” I raised my glass as proof.

“If you say so. But I hope you know how sad you look drinking on your own.”

She picked up her drink and took a slow sip. It was a deliberate action to bring attention to her full lips and it worked. All I could look at was her sensual lips as they parted to take in the liquid.

“Well, I'll leave you be.”

She flipped her long dark hair over her shoulder and made to leave when I heard my voice call out to her.

“Wait,” I said. “Have a drink with me.”

I didn't know if it was because I was slightly drunk or that Artemis' curves were calling out to me from the thin-strapped white, floral sundress she wore but for some reason, I didn't want her to go.

I didn't want to be alone.

She turned back and resumed leaning on the counter.

“Must've been one hell of a breakup,” she mused from where she stood with her hand tucked under her chin, watching me.

“Uh-huh, it's only a breakup if there was something in the first place,” I corrected her with a wag of my index finger that held my drink. “Everything was so cryptic with her. I could never call, whenever I was about to text I felt like I was skating on thin ice. And she could never talk to me about herself. Really talk to me.”

Artemis nodded like she understood. “That's the thing with ordinary people. They just enjoy wasting our time. Like we have an eternity to figure out their cryptic bullshit.”

I nodded and gulped my drink. The buzz was starting to spread, and I welcomed it.

“You know what?” I asked Artemis. “Fuck all of them. Fuck those nasty backstabbers and the thieves of this world. Fuck them! I'm here to have a good time and forget those fucking assholes. Fuck them!”

Artemis giggled and stared up at me with those molten pools of darkness that were her eyes.

“You're so pretty,” I told her, unaware that my tongue was too loose. “It's just too bad you're a bitch.”

Artemis did the unexpected and laughed.

“Well,” she inched forward. “This bitch has a condo not far from here. If you're still interested in having a good time, we can do it there. In privacy,” she whispered the last two words into my ear and her hot breath made something in my pants stir.

“Will there be whisky?”

“And vodka and champagne and anything else you want,” she trailed her manicured hand down the valley of her cleavage and suddenly I wanted her.

“Anything else, huh? How can I say no?”

I grabbed her face and kissed her like a hungry hobo would devour a sandwich.