Chapter 106 After

Chapter 106 After
It's been over a week since everything went down and yet…

I couldn't find it in me to transition to Agent Voss.

I laid in bed, covered in blankets as I stared at nothing in particular.

Used plates, tissues, clothes…

All lay haphazardly on the floor.

The door creaked open softly and I didn't even bother to see who it was.

A robber could come and steal everything in the house and I wouldn't even bother.

“How long are you going to be like this?” Anthony asked, stepping further inside.

As cliche as I sounded, I was happy to see a familiar face from the Bone Cartel, even though he was undercover too.

God… I was feeling homesick.

Quite ironic— seeing as I was in my home.

“Seriously Aggy—” Anthony stopped, sighing in exasperation.

Aggy…

How I'd give anything to hear Nicole or Finley call me that one last time.

“You do know you're going to have to face them at one point right?”

I couldn't… not after such betrayal.

“Are you going to lie here, and run away from your duty like a coward?” Anthony shouted.

I didn't move, I stared at the ceiling blankly.

He scoffed, shaking his head.

“The least you can do is face them, tell them the truth.”

“I can't…” I croaked.

He rushed to my side immediately.
“But you have to.”

I shook my head. “Not after what I did.”

“And what exactly did you do?” He asked, “your job? As an Agent”

I whimpered, curling further away from him.

He moved to the other side.

“Come on, Agent. This isn't you.”

He was right… it isn't me.

The me, from before… used to be so angry.

Angry at everything.

Hating anything I didn't understand.

Angry at the world.

Angry at the fact that the Mafia world took my father.

I had gone in with so much hate but instead of the monsters I was expecting—

I saw a normal family, with people who were used, broken and misunderstood by the world.

I saw people who had lost as much as I did, but they never lost their love.

I would know… because they still had enough left to give to me.

They gave me their all—

And what did I do?

I betrayed them.

Ohh God.

“You can't keep living like this Agent, you're going to have to face them soon enough.”

I sniffled.

He exhaled low, and began walking away.

He paused at the door. “If it'll do you any good to know, those three have been on Lance's neck about wanting to see you.”

I stilled, pulling the covers away from my body.

“What?”

He turned around fully with a large smile on his face.

“You do know those two are of the Asuji clan, they're not going to jail in a million years and besides… Lance couldn't try them even if he wanted to.”

I stood up, walking towards him.

“Why?”

He stared at me long and hard.

“Because they're your friends obviously,” he murmured. “And they were willing to do anything to make sure you were safe, even at the expense of their life.”

God… no.

Fresh tears began flowing freely.

“Jesus Christ, I didn't think you'd cry about this…” Anthony said, pulling me in for a hug.

“You need to tell them the truth.” He said, rubbing my back softly. “They deserve that much at least.”

He pulled back slightly, studying my face like he was trying to figure out how much of me was still… me.

“You need to tell them the truth,” he repeated quietly. “They deserve that much at least.”

My fingers curled into his shirt for a second before I let go.

My chest felt tight.

Heavy.

But beneath all that—

There was something else.

A pull.

A need.

“…Can I see them? Finley and Nicole... I mean.” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

Anthony didn’t hesitate.

“Yeah,” he said simply. “You can.”

I nodded slowly.

Like the permission alone had taken something out of me.

“I—” I swallowed, wiping at my face. “Give me a few minutes.”

He stepped back, giving me space.

“I’ll wait.”

For a second, I just stood there.

Then I moved.

Each step felt unfamiliar, like I hadn’t used my body in days.

The bathroom light flickered on, too bright against my tired eyes.

I avoided the mirror at first.

I didn’t want to see her.

Didn’t want to see what I’d become.

But eventually, my gaze lifted.

And I froze.

Sunken eyes.

Tear-stained cheeks.

A version of me I barely recognized.

Agent Voss.

Aggy.

Mara.

I didn’t know who I was anymore.

My throat tightened, but I forced myself to keep moving.

The shower came on, water hitting the tiles in a steady rhythm.

I stepped under it without thinking too much.

The warmth soaked into my skin, but it didn’t reach deep enough.

Nothing did.

Still… it helped.

Even if only a little.

When I stepped out, I moved mechanically.

Drying off. Dressing.

Something simple.

Like I didn’t deserve anything more.

By the time I walked back into the room, Anthony was exactly where I left him—leaning against the wall, arms crossed.

He looked up.

Paused.

Then gave a small nod.

“Better.”

I didn’t respond.

Didn’t trust my voice to hold.

We walked out together.

We got into the car and I sat down, staring outside the window quietly.

I would have liked the journey to be longer but, we reached quickly.

We walked forward, going into the office, the hallways were quiet.

“Still time to turn back,” Anthony said lightly from beside me.
I shook my head immediately.

“No.”

Even if it broke me—

I needed to do this.

We stopped eventually.

And just like that—

We were here.

Nicole and Finley’s door.

My chest tightened so sharply I had to press a hand against it.

I couldn’t hear anything from inside.

No voices.

No movement.

Just silence.

Anthony stepped back slightly, giving me space.

I stared at the door.

At the wood.

At the handle.

My hand trembled as I slowly raised it.

Then stopped.

Hovering just inches away.

This was it.

No going back after this.

My breath hitched.

And for the first time since everything happened—

I was truly afraid.