Chapter 135

Alessio

"Being a good leader means doing what you believe is right, even when it's hard. You're doing that. And that's why you'll be a great head of this family."

I tried to focus and pay attention to Dad's words, but it was difficult since I didn't deserve them. After we'd arrived back at the mansion, I found myself in the study with Dad and my brothers to discuss today's events.

As far as he was concerned, Isaac had died. That's what his little spy, Gian, had told him-and that's what I would make him believe for the rest of his life.

That didn't mean I didn't feel bad. I felt like shit. Lying to my family on such a scale was something I had never done before. I had always tried to prove myself and do whatever was necessary to keep this family together-but this time I failed.

It was as simple as that. Letting Isaac live? I had no real explanation for why I did what I did. The only thing I knew was that Mena told me to listen to my heart, and it answered for me.

"I knew there was no reason to doubt you to take care of the problem, and I never doubted you," Dad continued, giving me the praise I certainly was not worthy of.

I could only chuckle in response, silently disagreeing with every word he said.

"What do we tell the others?" Dante addressed the elephant in the room-because yes, what would we tell the others? One day Isaac was there amongst them, and the next moment he wasn't. It wasn't as if he hadn't built bonds with the other guys, whether those were fabricated or real.

"Fuck that," Gian muttered. "We'll tell them he packed his shit and left because of personal reasons, and there's no need to call him because he changed his number. He'll call us when he's ready," he spoke as if he had already decided it a while ago.

"We can't tell them he was a fed. It's embarrassing, we can't let that word spread."

Dad nodded in agreement. "It's humiliating, I agree. It's better to keep it under wraps."

Hearing those words, embarrassed, humiliating-while I had not only brought him into this household, but also decided to keep him alive-were to much for my ears to handle.

I knew that's what they would call me if they were to find out what had really happened to Isaac.

How I let the woman whom I love practically talk me out of killing him and how she had managed to succeed. How I brought Isaac to the house of the man Dad despised, and if it wasn't for Mena-I would have had to fulfill one of his weird requests.

And the worst of it all? Given the chance, I would've made the same decision.

"Your brother also told me Mena was a hero, saved the day a bit-managed to get some information out of him," Dad said, glancing between Gian and me.

"Yes," I said.

I caught Gian's glare and returned it. The feelings I felt toward my brother were complicated. Even though Dad was unaware, Gian referring to Mena as a hero was clearly sarcastic.

He didn't really think she saved the day. He thought she was overstepping. That's what he told her. He didn't hate her, I knew he didn't-no one did. Gian cared in his own strange way, but the line between showing tough love and being disrespectful was thin, and I felt Gian had crossed it.

"It would be good now if she stays out of things. Poor girl has gone through enough already," Dad's suggestion sounded more like an order.

"Yes, don't worry," I showed a weak smile.

We had already discussed this so I didn't know why we had to have this conversation again. I loved him, but if there was something I would love more at the moment, it would have to be pushing him back into that plane so he could go back to Italy.

"Is something wrong, Ales?" Dante, who was known to be annoyingly observant, must've read my expression.

I shook my head and cleared my throat, trying to deny any suspicion. "I'm good-just tired."

Dad hummed in understanding, his gaze softening. "You've been running around for weeks now," he spoke. "You should get some rest, and I'll stay here and help while you do so."

Please, no.

"Thanks," I covered with a smile. On a normal day, I would've argued with him-but today was not the day. Grateful enough I could finally leave his sight, I wasted no time and walked out of the study.

Before I could fully exit the hall, a hand clamped down on my shoulder. I didn't need to look to know it was Gian because Dante, who was a bit more intelligent, knew better than to disturb me while I was in a state where we had 'supposedly' killed the fed that was my friend.

I turned to face him, and our eyes locked. "I did what I had to do to keep this family safe, and I hope you won't resent me for it," Gian told me, though his eyes showed no regret.

I couldn't help but snort because what was it exactly that he had done? He bought Isaac just enough time for me to decide not to kill him.

He was also partly responsible.

"I killed Isaac for you because I knew you wouldn't be able to do it. I could see it in your eyes."

You didn't kill anyone.

"You're right," I admitted, taking in his words. He was right about one thing. Regardless of Mena's words, I was not certain that I would be able to do it. I asked Donni, but when he refused-I knew I wasn't going crazy.

Even though he also didn't have a clear reason, he couldn't do it.

Desperate to follow in my father's footsteps, I had never thought twice about ending a life and had always done it with ease and no remorse afterward.

But that was then, and this is now.

"I agree, I might've gone too far with Mena, with some of the things I said-and for that I'm sorry," Gian's voice softened. I had never believed he had bad intentions. He had only painted Mena in the best light to Dad, even though he didn't fully believe it himself.

His actions weren't personal. It was his way of protecting what he thought needed protection. He truly cared for this family and because he had never loved anything else-he was willing to do anything to protect us.

I used to be the same.

"You're my brother. How could I ever resent you?"

Gian's face lit up with a surprised smile. "Mena, however." I added quickly, remembering how Gian spoke to her. There was no excuse for that, and that still didn't sit right with me. "She deserves your apology."

"No!" Gian laughed it off, "No, she does not!" "And why is that?"

"Ales, someone needs to keep her in check, and you didn't want to do it-so I had to do it for you," he continued. "We all see it, and that's why we're all watching you."

"Who is 'we'?"

"Dad, Dante…everyone."

I tilted my head, narrowing my eyes at him as I listened to his bullshit. I didn't see Mena as someone whom I had to keep in check. She wasn't an object or property-she was my partner, and whatever was going on between us, was our business.

"I like her, I really do-but she is not willing to change and years, maybe even months from now, we will have a talk about how she's not only your biggest strength but also your biggest weakness," Gian added, giving my shoulder a pat.

I felt irritated by his perfect description.

Mena was indeed my biggest strength and my biggest weakness-but it was much deeper than that. He would never understand.

"You're becoming soft, brother. You're turning into a woman's bitch," Gian smirked. "I used to fear you, we all used to fear you-but now you're becoming…too normal."

"That's your opinion."

Normal? Maybe for Fanucci standards. It wasn't just me anymore, I had Mena, a six-year-old, and another baby on the way. What kind of father would I become to my daughter if I could not learn to be a bit more soft?

"I just say whatever's on my mind. You know that," Gian shrugged. "You're putting Mena first while it should be the other way around-"

That was it.

I could not listen to any relationship advice from someone whose mind worked like that. He sounded like Dad, and it was because he was the one who had taught us to be like that.

I turned and walked away with a chuckle, knowing this wasn't going anywhere. "I was still talking, by the way!" Gian yelled.

"I know-and if you want a future with Pilar or any other woman for that matter-you have to change your mindset," I called out.

"You're telling me?" Gian called back.

"Yes," I turned to him, a smirk plastered on my lips. "It turns out, besides me, all Fanuccis are the same-so who else will do it if not me?"

"Not you!" Gian responded. "You can deny it all you want, but I'm right about everything, and deep down you know it."