Chapter 48 Bigger Challenge

Chapter 48 Bigger Challenge
I was considering whether or not to resume my search for my mother when I remembered Ricardo, the gardener. Out of all of the members of Malcolm's staff, he was the only one who had been nice to me. If I could find him, I was confident that he would tell me where I could find her.Just the thought of seeing my mother again set off sparks of joy inside of me. But the hour was growing late, so I decided to postpone my search for the next day. Between the ordeal in the barn and the vast quantities of food I'd eaten, I was feeling pretty tired, so I reluctantly returned to my old room and got in bed.
For a long time, my mind was too unsettled to let me fall asleep. I kept seeing flashes of Malcolm's eyes brimming with rage as he brought the lash down on me over and over, utterly unmindful of the pain he was causing. It was as if he had become possessed, and a part of me wondered about what kind of childhood trauma he had gone through to result in that level of madness.
Of course, what Malcolm had done to me was unforgivable, but I could understand how a little boy raised by a strict disciplinarian of a father who whipped members of his staff for minor transgressions could scar someone's soul.
And what of Malcolm's mother? The only thing I knew of her was that she liked loose, cotton dresses. Perhaps if she'd been a bigger presence in his life, he wouldn't have turned out to be so filled with rage.
I also remembered that strange business meeting I'd attended with Malcolm at the Three Palms, and I wondered how much pressure there must've been on Malcolm's shoulders as a young man if his father encouraged such ruthless and extreme negotiating tactics.
That being said, there was no disputing the fact that Malcolm had enjoyed immense success in his business dealings, which probably reinforced those pathological behavior issues.
In other words, a part of me felt sorry for Malcolm, which was more than a little weird considering my legs had been cut to ribbons by him. I remembered the time he had first warned me not to disobey him and then how he'd spanked me the moment he caught me breaking his rules. I'm ashamed to admit it, but all that had been a turn-on for me, growing up the way I had without a father's hand to guide me.
In a perfect world, Malcolm would've been more even-tempered when I flaunted his orders and needed to be disciplined. But something inside of him had broken when he'd found out I'd slept with his son. Or had I? I still wasn't completely sure as all my memories from that night were a blur.
Either way, I'd gone from one extreme to another. I'd been a wild-child college girl one moment and the prisoner of a mad dictator the next, with hardly a moment to catch my breath in between.
Despite the physical pain in my legs, what hurt me the most was how disappointed I was that Malcolm hadn't turned out to be the man I'd wanted - and needed - him to be.
Well, it was better to live and to learn. At least that's what I told myself as a way of consoling myself about the fact that my mother and I were going to walk out of that place forever tomorrow and do our best to start over. It wouldn't be easy, but we'd made it through tough times together before, so I knew we would make it.
And with that thought in mind, I closed my eyes and sleep finally stole over me. But it wasn't to be a restful slumber as I was plagued by strange dreams.
Sometimes, I'd be screaming as Malcolm chased me, a maniacal look in his eyes as he snatched at the hem of my dress as I ran barefoot down the halls of his mansion. Other times, I felt myself growing warm as I lay draped over his knee, Malcolm humming the tune to a lullaby as he gently swatted my bare bottom.
When I woke up, I was drenched in sweat, and somehow my dress had come off and was lying in a heap on the floor. I sprang to my feet and examined myself in the mirror, horrified by the person looking back at me, who seemed more like a crazed homeless lady than the stepdaughter of a billionaire who just spent the night in a mansion.
With a sigh, I did my best to make myself look presentable, and then I got a fresh dress from the stack. I then took a deep breath and straightened my shoulders before mentally saying goodbye to the little room that had been the source of so many intense moments for me.
By this time tomorrow, my mother and I would be starting our new lives together, and I would never see the inside of those four walls ever again.
First, though, I had to find her. And that proved to be a bigger challenge than I ever could've imagined.