Chapter 76 Created torture
“What are you trying to say?” Alex asked with wide eyes. His heart thudded in fear.
Lucas was growing cold feet. Zenith’s seed had been watered by his father’s voice.
Alex stepped closer. “Is that what you think? That I was using you?”
Lucas hesitated a little and it cut deeper.
“I don’t know,” Lucas admitted. He was honest but it was painful for Alex. He absorbed it without lashing out. But asked quietly,
“Sweetheart, what changed between yesterday and now?” he asked quietly.
“Reality.” Lucas looked up at him but his eyes conflicted. “You and I… it felt simple yesterday, like a fairy tale. But after…”
“Come on, my love, it's simple.”
“It’s not!” Lucas’s voice cracked slightly. He ran a hand through his hair.
“Your family and mine seemed to have hated each other. This isn’t just romance. This is politics, business, and legacy.”
Alex’s tone stayed steady. “But it's not. Even if they push it that way, we won't let them separate us. I won't let them. I will fight this, just don't leave me. Remember our talk yesterday, hmm? To stand by each other no matter the pressure.”
“I don’t know if I’m strong enough to fight two wars at once.”
That was the truth. Not that he didn’t want Alex. He did and that was the problem.
Alex stepped closer to him, but to his surprise, Lucas took half a step back. Alex gazed at him, but Lucas gazed down, avoiding his eyes. That observation landed harder than a slap, Alex went still.
“Lucas, are you pulling away from me? Has it gotten to that?”
Lucas shook his head instinctively. “I’m trying to think.”
“By creating distance?”
“No, by breathing.” Lucas swallowed. “I need time.”
The two words Alex hated most.
Not because they were unreasonable. But because they sounded like the beginning of loss.
“Babe, time for what?” Alex asked quietly.
“To know that I’m choosing you for the right reasons.”
Alex’s expression shifted…not anger, not hurt but something deeper.
“You think this is an impulse for me?”
“I think you’ve never had to choose something that costs you before,” Lucas said with a cracked voice and that hit badly. Because it wasn’t entirely wrong. Lucas continued softly, “I don’t want to rebel. I don’t want to be defiant. I want to make the decision.”
Alex stared at him, long and unblinking. “And if I decide you’re worth the cost?” Alex asked.
Lucas’s voice trembled slightly. “Then I need to be sure I am too.”
The sitting room felt heavier. The distance between them was now intentional and controlled.
Lucas moved toward the door but not hurriedly. Just… stepping back.
“I’m not ending this,” he said quickly when he saw something flicker in Alex’s eyes.
“I just need space to stand on my own before I can stand beside you.”
Alex didn’t want to stop him.
He told himself he wouldn’t. But his heart betrayed him. Before Lucas could reach the door, Alex closed the distance in long, desperate strides and grabbed him from behind, pulling him into a tight hug.
“Sweetheart…” His voice broke. He buried his face in Lucas’s hair, pressing frantic kisses to his temple, his forehead, his cheek.
“Do you have to stay away again? Do we really have to do this?” He swallowed hard, “It’s heartbreaking. Are you sure this is the best way?”
Lucas didn’t flinch. “It is,” he said quietly. Then lifted his hand and cupped Alex’s cheek, thumb brushing gently across his skin as if memorizing the warmth. His gaze was steady, but there was a storm beneath it. Then, slowly, he kissed him lightly and stepped out of his arms.
The space between them felt like torture.
“At least stay tonight,” Alex tried again, his composure cracking. “Nathan might not let you in.”
“I won’t go there,” Lucas replied. “I’ll lodge somewhere.” The words hit harder than a slap.
“I’ll be here,” Alex whispered, his voice splintering. “Waiting.”
Lucas nodded. If he spoke, he might not leave. He turned and walked out. The click of the door shutting echoed through the apartment like a gunshot.
Outside, Lucas leaned his back against the door, eyes squeezed shut. His breath trembled. Every part of him screamed to turn the knob and go back inside, collapse into Alex’s arms, and forget pride, forget pain, forget everything.
Inside, Alex stood frozen.
Then suddenly he lunged for the door, grabbing the handle but paused.
His hand hovered in midair, shaking. If he opened it, he would beg. And he had promised himself he would let him make his decision.
He let his forehead fall against the wood, fists clenching at his sides. The silence in the apartment became unbearable and suffocating. The absence of Lucas’s presence was louder than any argument. His rage surged. He lost it and punched the wall, once, twice.
“Damn it!” he screamed, the sound ripping from his chest.
Outside, Lucas heard it. The muffled scream pierced straight through him. His hand flew to his chest as if to physically hold his heart together. Tears blurred his vision. He turned slowly, staring at the door.
For a long moment, he pressed his palm against it. Just like Alex was on the other side. Separated by wood. By pride. By timing.
“I’m sorry…” he whispered to no one, wiped his tears quickly, and forced himself to walk away.
He had planned to lodge in a hotel. But the ache inside him was too sharp, too restless. He wasn’t a heavy drinker. He never needed alcohol to numb anything but tonight was different. He needed something to quiet the noise in his head. Especially Alex’s voice which cracked “I’ll be here,” then the sound of that scream.
So instead of heading toward a hotel, Lucas changed direction and walked toward Dynasty Bar. The small, dimly lit place near Nathan’s apartment. The same bar he and Nathan used to frequent after long practical sessions. The place where laughter once came easily.
Tonight, it felt like refuge.
What Lucas didn’t know was that he wasn’t alone. From across the street, a black car eased forward at a cautious distance. Dan’s eyes never left Lucas’s retreating figure.
After the confrontation and the crash with Nathan earlier, Alex hadn’t taken chances. He had ordered Dan to follow Lucas discreetly, not to interfere, just to watch and protect him.
Alex didn’t trust Nathan, he didn’t trust the world. And most of all, he didn’t trust himself not to run after Lucas if something happened.
Inside the apartment, Alex stood alone in the dimly lit hallway with a first aid box. His chest heaved as he treated his scraped knuckles.
“I’ll wait,” he repeated to the empty room. But for the first time, waiting felt like the hardest battle of his life.
Anyway, when Lucas finally settled at the bar and ordered a beer, the noise around him blurred into nothing. The laughter, clinking glasses, and even the music, none of it reached him.
His mind just spiraled. Nathan’s face, his harsh words, calling him names, and choking him. It made him feel like a betrayer.
The first bottle went down too fast. The second burned less. By the third, guilt felt heavier than the alcohol. He needed to fix this and face the consequences.
He tossed some cash on the counter and stepped out into the cool night air. That was when he saw a familiar figure stumbling past the streetlight.
“Nat?” Lucas squinted.