Chapter 59 Bitter truth
As Lucas turned and walked away, Alex’s fingers were already moving as he went to his office.
“Please, let me take you home.”
He stared at the screen the moment the message was sent. His chest tightened because he already knew what the answer would be. Knowing Lucas had been pulling back but still, he waited with slim hope. Seconds stretched but no reply came in.
Restless, Alex pushed back his chair and hurried out of the office, hope flickering stubbornly in his chest. The instant he stepped outside, his phone buzzed.
It was Lucas’s reply, “No need, please stay off me.”
The words landed heavier than they should have. Alex exhaled slowly, his shoulders sagged and it hurt. But he knew that at least Lucas would be home safe. That thought was the only thing keeping him upright.
He turned back inside and returned to his office, forcing himself into the chair and pulling a file closer. He wanted to do some paperwork to quiet his mind. Unfortunately, it didn’t work.
Every line seemed to blur into Lucas’s face, his silence, and careful distance. His pen stilled in his hand as his thoughts spiraled, searching desperately for some way…any way at all that he could follow to make Lucas smile again, to make him feel safe enough to trust him and stay. But no matter how hard he tried, nothing solid formed…just ache.
With a sharp breath, Alex shoved the chair back and stood up. He crossed to the window and rested his palm against the cool glass, staring down at the lively street below. Cars passed, people laughed, some in a hurry. The sky had darkened, evening creeping in unnoticed, and with it came a deeper heaviness in his chest.
“My Lucas,” he murmured, voice low and sad, “Where do I even start to make you understand this situation, hmm?”
At that exact moment, his phone buzzed and it was Nathan.
Everything in Alex’s head went completely still.
He remembered that he was supposed to call him back last night but he ignored it.
Now that Nathan had become a problem between him and Lucas, maybe he should just tell him the truth…tell him he had seen his lifesaver.
The phone buzzed again.
Alex exhaled, dragged a hand through his hair, then crossed the room and dropped onto the couch. He hesitated for half a second before swiping to answer.
“Hello,” he said, forcing calm into his voice.
The office door burst open.
Alex jolted upright just as Nathan strode in, all confident and gay, and before Alex could process what was happening, Nathan was already there with arms around him, pulling him close, lips crashing against his in a hungry kiss.
Alex froze.
“Hello, sweet pie,” Nathan purred brightly, completely oblivious to the chaos brewing inside Alex. “I’ve missed you so much. How are you?” Another kiss followed, slow and possessive.
“Whoa, easy now,” Alex managed, pulling back slightly, eyes wide with shock. “I thought you were out of town. How did you…”
Nathan laughed softly and cupped his face. “Come on, sweet pie. It’s not about where I am. It’s about hearing your voice, seeing you again.” He tilted his head, teasing.
“Don’t tell me you didn’t miss me at all?”
“I’m just—” Alex swallowed, his phone still pressed to his ear, his pulse roaring.
“I’m dumbfounded to see you here. Your friend said you would be gone for a few more days.”
Nathan only smiled wider, completely at ease as he removed the phone from Alex’s hand.
And Alex stood there, caught between a call he never should have answered and from a man who he never expected to walk through that door.
“You sound like you didn’t want me to come back at all.”
Before Alex could respond, Nathan pushed him down onto the couch and straddled him, the movement sudden and territorial.
Alex’s breath hitched…not with desire, but shock.
“Sweet pie,” Nathan murmured, studying his face too closely. “You look like my surprise hit you hard.”
He lifted a hand and brushed his fingers along Alex’s neck, checking his pulse, his temperature. “You’re fine.” His smile softened, coaxing.
“Tell me you missed me too, hmm?”
He leaned in to kiss him.
“No.” The word snapped out of Alex’s mouth, sharp enough to cut through the air.
Nathan froze.
“You… didn’t miss me?” he asked slowly.
“I didn’t,” Alex said, his jaw tight. Then, after a breath, he added, “But I do need to tell you something. I’ve met my lifesaver.”
Nathan stiffened. “What?” His voice cracked instantly. “You’ve found him?”
The sound of it tugged at something in Alex’s chest, but he didn’t let it show. Not now. Not like this. Some truths had to stay buried for now.
“Someone led him to me,” Alex said carefully. “And I’ll always be grateful to that person.”
“Alex…” Nathan’s voice dropped to a whisper, fragile where it had been confident seconds ago. “Now that he’s back… what about us?”
Alex looked at him…really looked at him and shook his head. “Come on, Nat. There is no us. You know that, right? We are just friends. We’ve talked about this.”
Nathan swallowed hard. “But the last time we were together, you said you cared about me,” he insisted. “You called me your Nat. You made love to me.” His eyes searched Alex’s face desperately. “That had to mean something, right?”
Alex didn’t answer immediately.
And in that silence, everything Nathan feared began to take shape.
“That's because it was what you wanted and that can't happen again.
Alex forced him off his lap, but Nathan clung on, arms sliding up to encircle his neck, desperately.
“Come on, Nathan,” Alex said, strained. “Stop behaving like a baby. I don’t have the energy for this. Please.”
“No, I want to be your baby,” Nathan mumbled, his voice thick, still hanging on. “I love you.”
That was the problem.
Alex did have a soft spot for Nathan. He always had. He liked his laughter, his warmth, the way he filled quiet spaces. For months, that had been enough. At least so he thought.
But in the last few days, everything had shifted to Lucas. Not once, not even for a fleeting second had Nathan crossed his mind the way he used to. His thoughts circled one name, one face, one quiet presence that had lodged itself deep in his chest.
Even now, with Nathan clinging to him, Alex felt nothing. No spark. No pull. Just a heavy certainty.
“Nat…” Alex said quietly. “I’m sorry. But since I met him, everything changed. I think about him. Only him. And I want only him.”
As he spoke, he carefully pried Nathan’s hands loose and stood, stepping back to put space between them.
Nathan stared up at him, stunned. “Alex, come on. You just met him. You don’t even know what he has been up to. You can’t jump to conclusions like this.” His voice cracked as panic crept in. “We’ve been together for months and—”
“Enough,” Alex cut in sharply, his voice firm but pained.
Nathan’s eyes widened in shock.