Mother And Daughter
Leora:
Languished…
Hanging in the darkness, nothing above me, nothing beneath me, nothing around me, just the eerie melancholic darkness.
I try to move my head, the simple movement taking more effort than I had anticipated it to, this darkness is so thick, so heavy, I don’t recognize it even when something about it feels way too familiar.
I stare with hooded eyes at the emptiness around me, trying to recall how I got here, but nothing, my mind is blank, my heart is hollow, and my soul is vacant, and I don’t recognize a thing, not even myself…
Who am I? And how did I end up in this place?
“Little Ora” someone whispers in my head, a voice that I don’t place as mine, a voice so quiet, so scared, yet so warm, I smile at the pleasant feeling it brings me, feeling the numb organ in my chest pumping with life each time the voice recites the two words, little Ora, is that my name? It feels like it, my mind responds to it, and I let the voice soothe my dreariness and fill the void within me, I love this voice, with it in my head, I don’t feel so lonely and heavy anymore, even when I am surrounded by loneliness and heaviness from all directions.
I let myself relax as more words are whispered in my head, the voice slowly but gradually growing, becoming more and more gruff and masculine, but never losing its warmth, I like the tone just as much as I liked the other one, this one less scared and more certain, did the one calling me somehow grow up? Then why is he still calling me little? I laugh innocently as I try to put a face on that voice, and fail to imagine a beauty enough to match that of the warm voice, and what beauty can reside in such darkness anyway?
Does that mean that I am ugly since I am here? I ask myself as I try to swim in the darkness, the voice managing to melt the ice paralyzing my joints.
“You are beautiful…” the voice whispers again, and I feel my lips stretching upwards pleasantly, you are beautiful too, I want to tell him back but doubt he will hear me, he must know though that he is, even in such darkness, he still managed to remain warm and beautiful, something shines in the darkness ahead of me, two golden globes, very far but very warm, the heat shining from them reaching me, and I push myself towards them, uncaring of the distance, uncaring of the tiredness I feel, I will go to that warmth, no matter what it takes me.
However, the voice takes me through a tough journey, one that is filled with agonized whispers…
“Let her go, let my baby go!” I frown as the words stab me in the chest, the pain and despair they carry palpable through the thick darkness, I hurt for the woman, whoever she is, I hurt for her hurt, her pain is true and contagious, bleeding into the thick darkness in thick red ropes, and every fiber in me shakes as I desire to reach for her, soothe her, whoever she is…
Whoever she is…
I know who she is, I just cannot put a name or a face on that sound, but I know that I know her, my heart tells me so, and so does the way I hurt for her, I want to help her, I want to chase away what is hurting her so badly, so I push my way through the darkness even harder, urgency and desperation fueling my movements, and I don’t fail to notice that I am simultaneously getting closer to the warm voice, which further cements my belief that I heading the right way.
‘Trust your heart, little Ora, for it will always show you the right path, it will always tell you the truth.’ The voice encourages me as I work my arms and legs to swim through the darkness, I push and push, not paying attention to the tendrils wrapping themselves around my limbs and trying to hold me back, I will help the woman, I will find the warm voice, and I will make it out of here.
The dark fog slowly starts to dissipate, and my palms land on a smooth surface, I frown in confusion as my fingers inspect the surface blocking me from going any further, it feels like…glass, I think as I work my hands to wipe away the fog hoping to peek at what is outside my glass prison, I don’t see anything at first, just ghostly shapes standing in front of me, but the more I focus, the clearer I see, and the scarier I become.
There is a shadow standing in front of me, shaking and thrashing like a leaf in the wind barely holding on to the branch, to life, and something within my chest gives up as I realize it is the person whose voice I heard, the woman, I look up, trying to see her face, but she is not facing me, all I am met with is her back as if she is my armor, shielding me from all harm with her frail body.
And protecting me she is, I realize this the second I glance over her shoulder and meet the vicious green eyes filled with malice, there was something about them, a terrifying voidness that threatens to swallow everything in front of it, the poor woman, me, and everything.
“You are a selfish woman, Delilah, both of you are, can’t you see? This is the best thing both of you can do with your lives, the best thing you can do for the world and the rest of us, all of us, the children of the moon as well as the children of the sun, it is what you were created for, your death will be the life of all of us, what is one life or even two compared to the thousands and millions that will live in a world of peace and prosperity? A world without wars, without catastrophes, without injustice?” the woman with vacant green eyes says with a ghost of a smile, and for a second, a look of broken happiness passes through those eyes of hers, filling them with life before they are shadowed again, and I can’t help but wonder how can the same life fuel the brave woman in black run in the same veins as the one threatening her? How can the same essence exist in such opposites? The absolute good and the absolute evil?
‘There is no absolute good nor absolute evil, little mouse, we are all different shades of gray.’ A third voice speaks from the depths of my soul, this one stronger and more… real than the other two, clouding all others and sending shivers down my spine, I find myself shrinking in my own skin with how uncomfortable it makes me feel, and even glance over my shoulder to confirm that there is no monster breathing down my neck, but even when I can see nothing but dark fog, I know the ominous presence is there, lurking in the shadows.
“Save your virtuous crap to someone willing to listen, Witch! Someone who doesn’t know your true colors and how vile and evil you and your sisters are! You don’t give two shits about this world’s wellbeing, you only care for yourselves and what is best for you!” the woman’s loud screech snaps me out of my frightened state, the pain and struggle in her voice registering in my mind before the sight of her struggling against the evil beauty, the dark fog stirs around me and I gasp loudly as my eyes catch the black dagger in the evil witch’s hand, aiming it directly at the other woman’s chest, instinctively, my palms move to slam on the barrier separating us, hitting it with all the strength I can muster as my bloodstream is flooded with fear and urgency, flashes of the woman’s burned face appearing in my head.
I know her, I know this woman, and even when her name escapes me, my entire being recognizes her, as if she is a part of me and I am a part of her, and she needs me, she is in a grave danger which I see yet can do absolutely nothing about, and it suffocates me.
I cannot help her, I cannot protect her, all I can do is watch like a useless piece of shit and frustration as the brave woman battles against her peer with the ferocity of a lioness, refusing to succumb to the evil witch with the ashen blade, the fog around me shifts to a reddish hint very subtly, surrounding the colors of my eyes as I continue to slam against the glass, my voice doesn’t even reach my own ears even when my throat bursts in flames with how hard I am trying to scream, but nothing, the barrier doesn’t budge, and no sounds come out of me.
‘Let me help you…’ the ominous voice speaks again and I feel its dark tendrils slithering under my skin, how can it help me when it feels even move threatening than the vile blond with the blade? Fuck! I hate this, I hate how helpless and powerless I am, I hate that I can do nothing as the woman keeps on fighting, her strength wearing thin each second as the blade inches closer to her neck.
“We are what is best for this world, we have always been, and we have sacrificed so much, lost so much, and suffered so much, now it is your turn to fulfill your destiny, the one you were created for! It is time, the ultimate sacrifice has been made! Now is the time for the last one!” the tip of the blade is now breaking through the woman’s skin, and my heart stills as I watch in panic, no longer able to breathe, fuck! Can someone…anyone…please help!
‘I can help you, little mouse! All you have to do is let go! Let me fight on your behalf, Let me save those you care for and punish those who wronged you.’
No! I shake my head at the voice even when it tightens its grip around my heart and brain, a flash of red eyes appears in my vision, sly and malicious, this can’t be the way, but then, what other way there is!
“Then you lay on that altar and give your life for this better world, but don’t expect me to let you harm my daughter!” daughter? Is….is she talking about me?
Is this woman my mother?
The shadows around me still, thoughts evade me and the air escapes my lungs as I stare without blinking at the two women in front of me, the barrier disappearing as I stare at them directly, all kinds of scents assaulting my nostrils, the taste of metal invading my tongue, and I no longer feel as if I am swimming through numbness, no, I feel alive!
And it fucking hurts!
But most importantly, I know who I am, and I know who these two are!
The bitch with the knife is Ciana!
And the other…
That is Delilah…
And she said she is…
I shake my head as tears gather in my eyes, all this time, she has been by my side all this time, and she didn’t tell me, and I didn’t realize, even when she had told me in nonverbal ways, with how she cared for me, with how she hovered around me, and even Tynan told me, in not so direct words, and still, I didn’t realize…
Not until now…
Not until it is too late…
She turns to look at me, with tears sliding across her melted skin, mirroring mine, the tip of the blade already halfway through her neck…
“My daughter…my baby…I will always love y…”
She doesn’t get to continue, but I have already heard the words, I already saw them written in her eyes, she loved me, until the very end…
The very end…
It is the end, I think as I stare at her body, slowly making its way to the floor, every bit of life leaving it, but her eyes don’t leave mine, she is determined to give me every ounce of warmth left in her, to give me her last moments, her last words…
Redness takes over as the dark tendrils rip through my sanity, my heart bleeds its last, and my body gives up as I willingly let myself fall off the cliff and into the abyss, the pain too grave to endure…
I let the voice take over…