Chapter 11 — Rejection and remorse

Sydney:

I blinked awake, dull morning light was streaming in through my window. The alarm clock on my bedside table told me it was 6:30am, still early.

I tried to sit up and I winced. My lower half was so sore. Ramon really did a number on me last night.

I bit my lip as images of our activities last night coursed into my mind. After asking me to basically abandon my life and job here in London to go with him to Italy, of course we had an argument.

Lots of yelling and shouting, things were tossed around a bit but we did have mind blowing angry sex.

He stretched me out in all these positions I never knew were possible in real life and me as a grade A slut loved every moment of them.

And wow! I can say this in all confidence, Ramon Camelio fucked like a porn star.

I reached down and cupped my sore vagina " I'm sorry, he ruined you for other men" I muttered under my breath.

But serious time now, I can't go with him to Italy, my whole life is here, My job, my friends, my parents. I just can't up and leave, no matter how he makes me feel.

I haven't even thought about how he makes my heart flutter when he smiles, or whenever he treats me so carefully, I fall deeper and deeper for him.

There is just something about him, that draws me in, that makes me lower my defenses and bare my heart to him.

Could it be?

I shook my head. No, it couldn't be. It was too soon to say.

Then why was I conflicted?

Half of me wanted to go with him, but the practical half of me wanted to stay.

What if I went with him and I got my heart broken like the many times before?

I just couldn't go through that again.

But what if he was different? What if he was the one?

I blinked. Where was he anyway?

I glanced at the empty space beside me, one that clearly had a pillow dent.

Was he still around? Or had he snuck out?

I opened my mouth to call out but my bedroom door opened before I could, revealing the man of the hour, fully dressed, his hair perfect like he's just come off a glamorous runway and he held a small breakfast tray in his hands.

He smiled warmly at me, closing the door before coming to sit beside me, placing the tray on my lap.

"I made you breakfast love" he said, leaning close to me to press a kiss to my temple.

Stunned, I glanced down at the simple breakfast he made, oatmeal garnished with cut strawberries, toast and a cup of coffee.

"Sorry its plain, but I don't know how to prepare a big English fry up" he added cheerfully.

No one has ever made breakfast in bed for me, not even Astrid and we lived together for six years.

A warm feeling spread throughout my chest and I swallowed thickly.

Was I wrong about him?

"Thank you," I managed.

He beamed at me, his bright honey eyes shining, "You don't need to thank me love, everything I do is for you and no one else."

Fuck! Did he have to be so freaking sweet to me?

I felt tears welling up in my eyes. Great, the waterworks show. His smile dropped, concern taking its place. He cupped my face with his warm hands.

"Why are you crying baby? Did I say something wrong?"

I shook my head, dropping my eyes to hide my tears "no you didn't" I paused, sucking in a breath "You're being so sweet to me, no one has ever been so sweet to me, it makes me think that I'm a terrible person"

"You're not a terrible person, You deserve every nice thing in this world and even more"

"No I don't, I hurt you, I told you I can't go with you to Italy, I hurt you didn't I?"

"It doesn't matter sweetheart, I practically set myself up for rejection there, springing that up on you like that" he replied, stroking my face softly.

"What if I go with you?"

He shook his head "I can't allow you to do that love, you made it explicitly clear last night the reasons you couldn't go, and I understand. Taking you with me after that will go against my love for you"

"You love me?" I gasped out.

Could he really?

"Yes" he breathed, nothing but sincerity in his eyes "Unfortunately."

I punched his arm and he chuckled

Does he really love me? Does he really?

If he does, maybe I should go....

He cut of my thoughts with a small kiss to my nose "Stop thinking about the matter, your food is getting cold."

~*~

The familiar face time ringtone blared through my otherwise silent apartment and I shot up from my couch where I was knee deep in Ben and Jerry's cherry Garcia ice cream to my desktop by the window.

It was Ramon calling.

Before accepting the call, I fixed my sloppy bun and wiped some melted ice cream from my top lip.

I pressed accept and immediately my face split into a huge smile, something I haven't done in a while.

Ramon beamed back at me, his honey eyes shining behind his black rimmed reading glasses, his light stubble had grown into a full beard, his dark hair flopping into his eyes.

God, he looked so hot!

"Hey Sweetness" he drawled and my smile grew.

"Hey" I breathed, my immense happiness making me breathless.

It had been five months since Ramon left, and those months were pure torture for me. I missed him so much.

I knew it was idiotic for me to miss someone who I barely spent any time with, but I did, so badly.

We video chatted three times in a week and texted everyday but it still didn't fill the huge hole in my heart.

"You look beautiful baby, Fuck! I wish I was there with you" he said, pouting a bit.

"I wish you were here too, I miss you so much"

"I miss you too babe, much, much more," he gave a small sad smile before blowing out a breath "How are you doing? How is work?"

I shrugged "I'm fine as can be, still trying to separate Astrid from Aaro long enough for the both of us to go have some fun"

He snorted "Yea, good luck with that, My brother would never let her go anywhere without him"

"Ugh! It's been five months, shouldn't they be sick of each other already?" I groaned out and he chuckled.

"Any interesting cases at work?" He asked, adjusting his glasses as he leaned back in his chair.

"Nope, just boring alimony disputes so far, some minor divorce filings, I'm much more interested in what is going on with you"

He smiled "Well, other than missing you, I've been working on a major automobile deal with Sea industries and finally today we reached an agreement"

I perked up, These past few weeks he had been filling me in on an automobile deal his company and Sea industries have been haggling about. I offered some advice based on my limited business prowess and he always seemed happy to receive it.

"Really? That's great. What was the final agreement?"

He grinned happily. "Well, the Sea's CEO and I decided the main factory should be based in Europe, specifically in England, and since it's a collaborative deal, it has to be overseen by me personally."

My breath hitched, don't get your hopes up, Syd!

"So that means?" I asked tentatively.

He smiled brightly "I'll be in London for a few days going through the real estate for the factory"

I cupped my mouth to keep in the squeal threatening to erupt "oh my God!" I managed out.

He was coming here! Finally!

"When?" I squealed out and he chuckled. I will most probably do my happy dance later.

"Next week" he answered, chuckling.

"Oh God! I cannot wait"

He grinned "I can't either."