Chapter 40 Something Is Missing
Ryland
I arrive home after spending my time with Ben and the girls. I step out of my car, and as I do, I see Gracie’s “father” staggering up the pathway. He looks like a pathetic excuse for a human being. My anger built at the sight of him. My fists clench at my sides, and my breathing becomes heavier. It is the strong kind of anger I haven’t felt in a long time, and being this angry is never good for me. I use every ounce of control I have in me to stop myself from going over and knocking him out. Who would know it was me? Except, I couldn’t do that. Gracie wouldn’t want that. It would make me as bad as him. I head inside before I do something stupid that I can’t take back. He is not worth it. His time will come. Karma will find him, sooner rather than later, with any luck. I wish I could take Gracie away from him for good.
I am glad Gracie is safe and away from him tonight. I keep quiet as I head inside. I grab some water from the fridge before going upstairs. I stop at my mom’s room to check on her. It is something I do a lot. I like to make sure she is safe. She is sound asleep. I head to my room and strip down, climbing into bed. I distinictive feeling takes over the second my back hits the mattress. I know exactly what it is. Gracie isn’t here, and it simply doesn’t feel right. Loneliness takes over me. I have never felt this way before, missing someone when they aren’t around. It is like a part of me needs her. I have never needed anyone before, not in this way. Well, it is more like I refuse to let myself need anyone, and it scares the hell out of me that it is different with Gracie.
Gracie Jackson, what are you doing to me! I am still getting my head around the fact that I have a girlfriend, that Gracie is my girlfriend. A smile graces my lips at the thought. I am pulled from my thoughts at the sound of my cell beeping with a text. My smile grows when I see it is from Gracie. I meant to text her the second I arrived home. I would have done it soon.
Hey, baby boy. Did you get home, okay? Xx
Hey, brown eyes. Yes, I am home safe. What are you doing? Xx
Good. I am trying to sleep, but with no luck. It doesn’t help that Lola is snoring and talking in her sleep, ha-ha. What are you doing? Xx
Aww, I am sorry that you can’t sleep, baby girl. You could always leave her a note and come stay with me. I am just lying in my big, cold bed, which is missing something xx
She will know what I mean. I hope she will anyway. I don’t want to say the words.
I can’t do that. I think you have seen enough for me recently. I wonder what is missing from your bed? Xx
Yes, you can. You know exactly what, or should I say who, is missing from my bed. Are you sure I can’t talk you into coming to stay with me instead? Xx
Aww, how sweet. I miss you too. No, don’t be greedy xx
I am allowed to be greedy because you are not my girlfriend xx
Oh, is that how it works now? Xx
Yes, it is how it is now. You should get used to it, beautiful xx
Hmm, I don’t know what to think about that xx
Come on now, gorgeous, don’t even try to deny that you love spending all your free time with me xx
Maybe a little xx
Gracie and I text back and forth for the next hour until we decide it would be best if we both get some sleep. Plus, the quicker I get to sleep, the quicker the morning will come, and I will get to see Gracie. I have never seen myself as the needy type. I can’t help it with Gracie. When I am with Gracie, I am at my happiest. I can be myself. No secrets or acting like someone I am not. I will be eager when the morning comes.
I try to get comfortable, but I find myself tossing and turning. I groan into my pillow. I want to sleep, but I guess the rest of me doesn’t. I am not getting out of bed. I refuse to move until I win and sleep takes over me. If I get out of bed, I will be up all night. I can’t rely on Gracie always being here to help me sleep, no matter how much I wish I could. One day, hopefully. Oh, wow, I am thinking about the future, something else I never do. Now, I really need to sleep before I drive myself crazy with my thoughts.