Chapter 27 I Wish I Could Take Her Away From It All
Ryland
“What is happening at home?”
“My dad takes his anger out on me. It is even worse if he has been drinking.”
My body tenses. “Gracie, does your dad hurt you?”
I know the answers, but I want her to tell me. She looks me straight in the eye, fear flashing through her eyes, and she nods.
“In what way?”
“Physically and emotionally. I don’t know which one is worse. He has never been the nicest man, but after my mom took her own life, things got worse. He got worse.” She sobs.
Her mom took her own life. Gracie mentioned briefly that she lost her mom, but I did not expect that the way she died was by taking her own life. What has Gracie done to deserve such a horrible life?
“She took her own life?” The sadness is clear in my voice.
“Yes, she always had her struggles since I can remember, but even with everything she was going through, she was the most amazing mom. I think she never had the strength left to fight. She had fought for so long and against so much. I miss her every day.” The tears stream down her cheeks, and she places her hand over her heart.
“I am sorry, Gracie. I didn’t realise.”
“I was so mad at her at first for leaving me. I hated her, but I stopped being mad at her because it wasn’t her fault. She just couldn’t take anymore.”
“Do you have the same thoughts?”
I really hope she doesn’t.
“I have them a few times, but I couldn’t do that. Because that means he wins. He already made my mother take her own life. He isn’t going to have a hand in doing the same thing to me.”
“If you ever get those thoughts, promise me you will come to me, okay?”
Gracie nods. “I promise.”
I move and lie down on the bed. “Come here.” I encourage.
Gracie lies next to me and places her head on my chest. I wrap my arm protectively around her. She snuggles into me and slips her hand into mine, linking our fingers.
“Ryland, you can’t tell anyone, any of this, okay? I will never forgive you if you do. No one knows, not even Lola.”
I want to tell someone what he is doing to her, so I can get him as far away from her as possible. I want Gracie to get help, but I know I can’t act on it because that is not what she wants. I can’t break her trust like that, no matter how badly I want to. I want to go and kill the fucking bastard for doing all of this to her, for making her feel this way. It would just make me as bad as him, though. I know everything she has told me needs to stay between us.
“I promise I won’t say anything. You need to help, Gracie.”
“I can’t, not right now. I am not ready to. I don’t have the strength yet to fight it.” She sighs.
I stroke her hair. “Okay, but when you do feel ready, you tell me. I will go with you to see someone.”
I am not going to let her go through this alone.
“I promise I won’t say anything,” I sighed, “But you need to get help, Gracie,” I added.
Gracie kisses my cheek. “I promise, I will. Thank you.”
Gracie has told me about her struggles and demons, and I know the time will come when I need to do the same. She can sense I am fighting my own battles. I don’t tell anyone about them, but Gracie isn’t just anyone. If she can trust me enough to tell me her deepest, darkest secrets, I think it is only right I tell her mine too. I will, in time, but right now is not the time because she is already hurting enough.
“When do we need to check out?”
“In a couple of hours, or we can stay another night if you want?” I suggest.
I want to keep her away from that monster for as long as I can. If I could find a way for her never to have to go back, I would, but that is not an option.
“Bad idea. The longer I am away, the worse it will be when I return. He doesn’t care I am not there because I am his daughter. He will care because he needs to do everything himself.” Her voice is shaky due to fear.
“I am sorry I can’t find a way to keep you away from him for good.”
“I just need to get through this last year, and I can get away from him. I can get away from that stupid town and start the life I want.”
“What is it you want in life?” I ask, curious.
“I want to help kids who have been through what I am going through. And maybe one day have a husband and a family of my own, but before I can get any of that, I need to sort myself out.”
“I hope you get everything you dream of, Gracie. When you do find that guy, make sure he accepts you for you, all of you, scars and all.”
“I don’t know. I need to wait and see. It is a long time away. What about you? What do you want?”
“I am still trying to work that out,” I say, letting out a deep breath, not being able to work out why my chest feels constricted.
Gracie smiles up at him. “You have time to work it out.”
I nod, and soon I see her beginning to drift off. She is mentally exhausted. I will let her sleep and pay extra if I need to get this room for a few more hours.
“I promise you, I am not going anywhere. I am right here for you for as long as you need me.” I whisper and tighten my gold on her petite frame.
I mean every word I am saying to her. I am going to do everything I can to protect her from it all. Well, I am going to try. I can only hope my own darkness doesn’t take over and stop me from doing that.