Chapter 37

KSENIA

He’s so close, and yet, he’s so far away. I can feel his breath on my lips, but I also know that he’s untouchable at the same time. He leans in just a touch closer, his lips touching mine and my entire body melts toward him.

I curse my body. My stupid traitorous body. It wants him, just as it always has. It craves him and at the same time, my brain knows that it doesn’t need any damn part of him.

But I already know that I’ll have him.

Right here.

Right now.

Because he has trained me to want and need only him and it worked. So damn well.

Lifting my hand, I wrap my arm around his shoulder and pull myself closer to him. I need to feel his chest against me. My body needs to touch his. I need to know that he is mine.

At least, right now.

I know without a doubt that he will never be truly mine. He never has been, and he never will be. This man belongs to no woman and it’s a travesty, because he can be so damn good. He can be so kind, so sweet—so perfect.

Grisha’s lips touch mine, then I feel his tongue slide inside of me. He swirls his tongue around, tasting all of me. Then when I feel like I’m going to rip his suit off, he pulls away from me. I feel his forehead rest against mine, he pants heavily, his breaths matching my own.

“I burn for you,” he rasps.

Goddammit. I burn for him too. Everywhere. “Me too, Grisha. Me too,” I whisper.

He releases his hold on my neck and wraps his strong fingers around my waist. Before I realize what’s happening, he picks me up. I let out a gasp in surprise. Wrapping my legs around his waist, he shifts his grasp to my ass, and he grips me tightly as he walks me somewhere in the house. I don’t know where he’s going, but I don’t think that I care.

Grisha can take me anywhere right now and I would gladly welcome it. His lips touch mine again, they move and taste, his tongue slips inside of mine and then I feel something cold press against my back.

Lifting my head, I let it fall backward and it lands on whatever is behind me with a thud. Grisha’s lips travel down my throat and suck on my skin. I’ll probably have hickeys tomorrow, but I don’t care. I’m not going anywhere, so it doesn’t matter what he leaves on my body. I just want him everywhere.

He unwraps my legs from around his waist and I allow it, only because I think it will be the fastest way to get my pants off. I don’t give a fuck if this makes me a slut, if anyone would think badly of me. Who would even give a shit? I’m not sure. I don’t have any friends.

My boss will just think I’m another waitress who moved on without a word. My landlord, while we really like one another, she won’t even blink at me never coming back.

Nobody will even miss me. Not even a little bit. I made sure it was that way for a reason, if I needed to disappear. While I needed to vanish this time, I’m a little sad that nobody gives a fuck about me.

I feel a sharp pain on my lip and I jerk my head back, hitting it against what I now know is the window behind me.

“Where’d you go?” Grisha demands.

His voice doesn’t rise, but it’s very insistent. I feel like I have to answer him. Because I don’t want him to think anything bad.

“I… uh… I was thinking about the fact that nobody is even going to miss me when I don’t show up to work tomorrow, or don’t pay my rent next month,” I admit.

“It’s a good thing,” he says and I know that it is, but it still hurts.

Nodding my head a couple of times, I try to give him a smile. “I know that it is, but I still hate that I have nobody.”

He doesn’t say anything right away. His gaze finds mine, he holds it and then he leans forward slightly. I expect his mouth on me again, anywhere, but he doesn’t give me that. Instead, he clears his throat before he speaks. It’s a low, deep, rough voice, and his words—they rattle me.

“You have me, dusha moya, always.”

Then without a moment for me to even process his words, he slams his mouth against mine, rips my workout leggings off of me, shredding them into pieces before he shoves my panties down.

Oh god.

This is really going to happen.

And my body can’t wait.

My heart can. It’s not ready, but like Grisha, my body doesn’t care about my heart. Not right now at least. Not that it ever really has.

GRISHA

SLIDING my fingers between her legs, I feel her wet cunt beneath my fingertips. Circling her clit, she whimpers, lifting one of her legs and wrapping it around the back of my thigh. Grunting, I force my tongue into her mouth, though it’s not much of a force considering she parts her lips as easily as she’s parted her legs.

Fuck me, she’s just as sweet as I remembered—maybe even better. Definitely better, I decide as I slip two fingers inside of her. Curling them, I feel her cunt, knowing that soon my cock will replace them.

She rips her mouth from mine, and I watch as her head falls backward hitting the glass, landing with a thud. Her hips jerk as I fuck her with my fingers. She lets out a moan as she searches for her release. If she thinks she’s coming anywhere but on my cock, she’s got another thing coming.

“Don’t come,” I demand.

She lifts her head, her eyes finding mine as she looks at me from beneath her lowered lids. “I’m close,” she exhales.

“Please, Grisha, moi sladkiy.” Fucking hell.

I have not been called moi sladkiy in over ten years. Sounds good, feels good, too. I continue to fuck her with my fingers, bringing her to the brink. She gasps, pinching her eyes closed. Her pussy fluttering around my fingers signaling her orgasm on the brink.

Gliding my fingers out of her warm body, I unbuckle my pants, pushing them down my hips before I reach down and wrap my fingers around the backs of her knees. Hitching her legs around my hips, I take a step forward, ensuring that her back is pressed against the window for stability before I bury myself inside of her with one thrust.

Ksenia’s nails dig into my shoulders, her eyes widen, and she looks directly across to me, her lips parted. “Grisha,” she breathes. “Just… give me a minute.”

My lips twitch into a grin. Shaking my head once, I lean forward and touch my mouth to hers. “I’ll give you as long as you need, dusha moya. I’m home.”

I’ve shown my hand. It’s too early, this much I know, but at the same time, I’m not sure that I care too much. She is and has always been my home. It doesn’t make me a pussy or less of a man, it just makes me truthful.

That is one thing that I have never done with Ksenia. I may have hurt her a million times, I may have kept things that she couldn’t and wouldn’t want to know from her, but I have never lied to her, and I never will.

Shifting my torso forward, I touch my mouth to her parted lips. “I’m going to fuck you now, Ksenia,” I tell her in more of a warning tone than anything else.

Because I am warning her. This isn’t making love. I don’t know what the fuck that even means anyway. This is going to be fucking her against a window in the middle of the early evening. Nothing but pure, raw need. Nothing else. Me inside of her, her taking me, orgasms, and then dinner.

Pulling out of her slightly, I thrust back inside. Shifting my head back, I look into her eyes and fuck her. Grinding my pelvis against her clit on every downstroke, I’m careful to take her hard yet evenly.

The control I’m displaying is more than I have had to in years, but I’m home. I’m home and I’m downright excited to be here.

Clenching my jaw, I continue to take her. She shifts her fingers from the tops of my shoulders and wraps them around the back, holding me to her.

“Harder,” she rasps against my ear.

Fuck. Me.

I don’t do as she asks, mainly because if I do, I’ll come instantaneously. Instead, I turn my head slightly, burying my face against her neck. Opening my mouth, I bare my teeth, then place them against the side of her throat and bite down before I suck on her skin.

She moans, her hips lifting to meet mine. I can feel her thighs trembling. She’s on the edge, so close that she’s about to fall over and I can’t fucking wait for it. My back tingles and I know that I could come at any given second.

Sliding one of my hands up the outside of her thigh, I slip it between us, my hips never stopping, as I press my thumb against her clit. It doesn’t take much, just a pinch, and she holds me closer as she lets out a scream with her release.

It’s fucking beautiful, watching her come. I don’t stop moving. My thumb stays in place, drawing the release out of her while I search for my own. When my balls draw up, I know that I’m ready.

Burying myself deep inside of her, I come—hard. My teeth sinking down even farther into her neck, leaving without a doubt, a big ass fucking mark.

Her breathing comes out in pants as does mine while my cock twitches inside of her, emptying in probably the most satisfying orgasm I’ve had in a goddamn decade. Moving my hand from between us, I lift my head and extend my index finger.

Sliding my finger along her bottom lip, I trace the move with my eyes as I watch her for a moment in silence. She doesn’t say anything and neither do I. Are there words that are even needed?

Then I realize there is something that needs to be said. Needs to be clarified and it’s up to me to do that. “Home, Ksenia. I am home. You are home and this is where you stay. With me.”

I don’t give her the chance to react. To respond to me. She doesn’t need to. She’s mine. Not that she ever wasn’t, but I’m not letting her walk away from me again. I’m keeping her—forever.

Slamming my mouth against hers, I kiss her hard. Her body is initially tense, then it relaxes slowly and her arms flex, holding me closer to her again. I let her. Pressing my chest against hers, tasting her, tasting what’s mine.