Chapter 77 Camilla’s Pov.
“Camilla, stop.” She called after me but I didn't bother turning around before walking into my room and she followed me, closing the door behind her. “You need to stop behaving like this amore.”
“Behaving like what? Are they going to bring back my friend that they fucking killed?” I faked a smile even though I felt like crying. “Oh wait, they can't.”
“Camilla, you don't understand—”
“I don't want to understand, Harriet!” I shouted, barely holding back my tears. “I don't want to fucking understand this disgusting life and I sure as hell don't want to be a part of it any longer.”
“But you'll have to, baby. You're here already and you and I know it's next to impossible for you to leave.” She said, not minding that I just raised my voice at her as she continued to speak to me in a soothing tone.
“I don't want this to be my life anymore.” I protested.
“Listen Camilla, I may be the housekeeper but I'm more of Àlvaro's family and I'll do whatever I can to protect it.”
“There's something very wrong with you if you think this family is normal.” I chuckled humorlessly, running a hand through my hair.
“Listen, amore, Àlvaro is more like a son to me because I practically watched that boy grow into the man he is today. He might have his flaws but I've seen the way he looks at you. I've never seen him look at anybody else like that.”
My lips parted slightly, not finding the right words to fire back at her.
“And I've seen the way you look at him too. He practically went berserk when that bastard uncle of his took you. I'm sorry about what happened to your friend. Trust me, we all are and Àlvaro is working his ass off trying to get revenge for her. And judging from the sounds I heard coming from this room throughout the night, you really need to cut the attitude.” She said the last part a bit sternly and I could feel guilt taking over my body. The same guilt you feel when you get caught doing something you shouldn't.
“You're wrong. I don't look at him in any special way.” I lied, when I managed to find my voice. I was sure the look on my face was already giving me away. Harriet chuckled, shaking her head.
“Are you trying to convince yourself or me? You know, for two grown-ups, y'all are really acting like fucking teenagers.” She shook her head again. “Àlvaro's your best chance to stay alive.” She continued to speak, tucking some of my hair behind my ear. “He cares for you a lot even though he might not say it “
I felt tears in my eyes as I nodded towards her. I could see her sad look before she hugged me.
“Now, you need to calm down.” She whispered in my ear while hugging me and I just nodded, looking into nothing.
This is how reality hits you like a hurricane out of nowhere and in moments like these, there's nothing else you can do but obey.
\~~~~
Two weeks later.
It was slowly becoming sort of a pattern now, Àlvaro's way of avoiding me.
I've barely laid eyes on me since the night I practically begged him to fuck me just to forget about Chloe's death.
But my body was already becoming so intuned with his that I could smell him entering the living room where I was sitting before I even saw him.
He stepped inside but I still refused to look up as I swallowed the thick lump that formed in my throat. His presence sent bolts of electricity through my skin.
The air suddenly became more and more dense by the second. I could hear the sound of his shoes pressing onto the floor as he walked to the sofa and sat down an arm's length away from me.
That was when I finally glanced glanced up and found myself shuddering from his dark intense eyes.
God! He's in a suit. Why's he always in a freaking suit?
“What do you want this time? Are you done avoiding me?” I said, staring at him through my long lashes.
Àlvaro inhaled and shifted his ankle to his knee, resting his elbow on the back of the sofa. “Fair enough.” He rasped, not once dragging his eyes from mine. I tried to ignore how heavily my heart thumped in my chest, giving me a solid ache in the middle.
There was something different about his countenance. He looked nervous. I've never seen Àlvaro Castillo nervous. Never.
“What is going on? Something you wanna say?” I prompted.
“Yes.” He inhaled deeply. “I've wanted to say this for the longest time. I can't stand the idea of anyone being around you or touching you, Camila. I just fucking can't!”
What the fuck?
Àlvaro shuffled closer, analyses my face before taking it into his two hands. I just sat there, my face twisted in confusion at what was happening.
“I'm sorry for always avoiding you but that's just because I'm trying to run away from what I feel for you because I don't fucking understand it.”
My bones felt frozen and I couldn't take my eyes off him as he spoke, the raw honesty in his gaze making me breathless. I attempted not to shudder at the connection of his skin on mine but it was too late. I was already melting.
What the fuck is happening right now? Did Harriet talk to him too?
He tilted my head up gently. “Everytime I'm with you I—” He paused, mouth still open. I stayed silent because I honestly don't know what to say.
I felt his thumb grazed over my cheek bone softly, the warmth of his body swarming me as he inched closer. “I am falling for you, Camilla. I've never fallen for anyone in my entire life. Fuck. These emotions are new to me and I might act like an asshole sometimes but when it comes to you, I will do anything to fucking protect you. I'm really sorry about Chloe and believe me, Vincenzo is gonna get what's fucking coming for him and I'll do anything in my power to keep you away from him or from anyone that would want to hurt you.”
Everything inside my body began to vibrate. The big scary spanish mafia boss was admitting his feelings to me? The world must've ended because I didn't think I'd ever live to see the day.
Even when I felt the exact same way.
I've been falling for him for a while now but I've also been trying to convince myself that it was just lust or probably some Stockholm syndrome shit but what I feel was more than that.
“You're in my mind every second of the day.” He stated, his jaw clenching. “Even when you fucking shouldn't, you still are and I'm fucking tired of running away from my feelings.”
My eyes fluttered shut for a moment and Àlvaro rested his forehead against mine.
“You make me feel everything when I thought that I was immune to feeling such strong emotions.” His voice grew heavier. “And that shit scares me.”
I kept my eyes closed because I couldn't bear to look at him right now, not when I'm seconds away from hyperventilating.
“Say something, chica.”
I parted my lips to say something but instead, I took a breath.
“Anything.” He prompted.
When my eyes fluttered open, I found him staring back at me with cautious eyes. I allowed myself to enjoy the feeling of his thumb against my skin, comforting me in ways I didn't even realise I needed right now.
“Do you really want to be with me?” I asked quietly.
“Yes.” He answered without hesitation.
I glanced down at his lips and then back up to his eyes. Everything inside me clenched at the thought of this man wanting to be with me, worshipping me, protecting me, devouring me. All the ways he's previously done but now, with a label.
“But what about—”
“Fuck whatever that is.” He said, cutting me off. “I want you and I'm going to have you.”
Stupid butterflies erupted in my stomach and my eyes closed again.
He dipped his head down to the edge of my jaw, pressing a little kiss to where my chin started. “So tell me what you want, chica.”
“You.” I murmured.
His lips landed on mine before I even got the chance to open my eyes.