Chapter 92 Chapter Ninety Two
"Why would you want to see him?"
His voice was careful when he questioned me, but I could feel the tension in his body where we touched. He wasn’t happy.
"Have you changed your mind about the plan?"
"No! No, of course not." My words tumbled out in a rush and desperation. "I love the plan. It's going great. It's the best plan ever, really. It's just—"
I pulled back slightly to look at him. "We used to be friends for a while. And he's been in the hospital for two weeks now, I think he's getting discharged soon. It wouldn't be fair if he'd been there all this time and I didn't visit him once."
Noah studied my face in the dim light filtering through the curtains.
"You are far too caring for your own good, Lena." His hand came up to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, his touch gentle. "What would you do without me to keep you from getting hurt?"
"I know, and thank you. I really appreciate everything you do for me." I caught his hand, squeezing it tightly. "But I think I need to go. Just this once. If I meet him then maybe I can get closure and I can finally put it all behind me."
"Lena—"
"I'll call my mom and get her permission to leave for New York tomorrow, then I'll stop to see Jace the day after. Just for like an hour, and then we'll leave for the city the next morning. I'll be okay, I promise."
Noah started to protest, his mouth opening probably to remind me why it was a bad idea.
"What about you?" I cut him off. "Don't you want to see your cousin? You're family, surely you should visit him too."
Noah's jaw tightened. He shifted on the bed, pulling me closer against his chest as though it could physically keep me from going.
"I told you," he said quietly. "We're not on good terms."
"But why?" I asked for what had to be the hundredth time since we'd started this arrangement. "You never tell me no matter how many times I ask. What could he have possibly done that was so bad you won't even visit him in the hospital?"
"I don’t tell you because you don't need to worry yourself with it."
"Noah—"
He kissed me. It was firm and sudden, effectively cutting off my questions, and when he pulled back, his eyes were dark and unreadable.
"That’s plenty of questions for one night, Lena," he murmured against my lips. "And you know I love your questions, but we’ve both had a very long day today. Do me a favour and go to sleep, okay?”
I wanted to push him and demand answers from him, but the exhaustion of the day was catching up with me, making my limbs heavy and my thoughts fuzzy.
"Okay," I whispered. “You’re right.”
I curled up closer to him, fitting myself against his side, and his arm wrapped securely around me making me feel safe again.
As I drifted off, a strange thought occurred to me; I had never once slept next to Jace like this. I had never fallen asleep in his arms, never woken up beside him in the morning.
I wondered, with a pang of guilt, what it might feel like. I wondered if he still thought of me the way I thought of him.
The buzzing of my phone woke me right up.
I groaned, reaching blindly for the nightstand, my eyes still closed. The bed beside me was empty, I guessed Noah must have gone for his morning run.
I smiled when I saw the note propped against the lamp: Gone running, sweetheart. Made you a protein smoothie, it's in the fridge. Don't skip breakfast or I'll know. - N
The phone was still buzzing in my hand. I hit accept without checking the caller ID, assuming it was my mom calling to check in.
"Hey mom,” My voice came out rough with sleep. I rubbed my eyes, yawning. “I wanted to talk to you about something, my friends are going to New York City on a road trip before school starts, I was wondering if maybe you would let me go with—"
"Lena?"
I froze.
That voice.
"Lena? Are you there?"
My throat closed up. For several long seconds, I couldn't make my voice work, nor could I force out a single word.
"Hi," I finally managed, sitting up straight in bed. "Yes. It's me."
"I wasn't sure you'd pick up." Jace's voice sounded different, tired and strained over the phone. "How've you been?"
How long has it been, he was asking. As if he didn't know, as if he hadn't been counting the days the same way I had.
"Fourteen days, seven hours, and—" I glanced at the clock. "Forty-three minutes. Since the game."
Jace paused for a brief second and then he laughed, that familiar, rough laugh that used to make my stomach flip, and still somehow did.
"I guess you haven't changed from being the same nerd you always were."
The casual affection in his tone made my chest ache with longing.
"I don't know about that." I pulled my knees up to my chest, wrapping one arm around them. "I felt some need to know exactly how long we'd spent apart. How long since you last betrayed me?"
His laughter died, and heavy, uncomfortable silence stretched across the line.
"Lena—" His voice had changed, becoming lower and more serious. "Meet me. I want to see you again."
My heart hammered against my ribs. Just last night I'd wanted the same thing, needed it even.
But now, hearing his actual voice, the reality of it hit me.
"I don't think that's a good idea—"
The call switched to video and suddenly Jace's face filled my screen.
He looked thinner. His hair was messier than usual, falling across his forehead. There were dark circles under his eyes, but he was smiling; that crooked half-smile looked just the same up close.
"Hi," he said softly.
"Hi." I couldn't look away. "Did they already let you out of the hospital? I thought you weren't getting discharged until…"
"I let myself out." He was walking somewhere, the camera bouncing slightly with his steps. Behind him, I could see brick walls, shadows in the background. "I feel fine. My leg's healing up just like they said it would."
I grew worried, "Jace, you shouldn't just leave without being properly discharged. What if something happens? What if…"
"I know about that pizza place you like to go to." He cut me off, his eyes intense even through the screen. "Marco's. Meet me there, I'll be waiting for you."
"Wait, I can't just…"
"Please, Lena." Something in his voice made me stop. "I need to talk to you. Just... please."
Before I could respond, the call ended. I stared at my phone, my reflection ghostly in the black screen.
My hair was a mess, sticking up at odd angles. I was wearing one of Noah's oversized t-shirts. I looked sleepy and confused and scared, so much so that I was afraid I’d only imagined our conversation.
The sensible thing to do would be to call him back and tell him no, that we had nothing to say to each other.
But my hands were shaking.
It had been only two weeks since I’d last seen him, but it felt like forever. I'd kissed Noah in front of the entire town while Jace watched from an ambulance.
Outside, I heard the front door open. Noah's voice calling out, "Lena? You up? I’m back from my run and I brought those candy bars you like!"
I heard footsteps coming up the stairs.
I looked at my phone one more time.
Then I made my decision.