Chapter 78 Chapter Seventy Eight
"I think I'm in love with Lena."
Marcus fell out of his chair. He crashed to the floor with a loud thud, landing on his ass with his legs sprawled out.
"Lena?" He stared up at me from the ground, eyes wide. "Lena fucking Hartwell?"
Then he started laughing. Full-on, bent-over, can't-breathe laughter, on the top of his voice.
"Dude, what the fuck?" I glared at him.
"That girl?" Marcus wheezed between laughs, clutching his stomach. "The tutor? Allison was saying all that shit on the field about how you wanted to get in her pants, but I thought she was just trying to piss you off!"
"It's not fucking funny."
"It's a little funny." Marcus pushed himself up, still grinning like an idiot. "So that's the girl you've been losing your head about? Goddamn, Dawson."
Heat crawled up my neck. "Forget it. This is bullshit."
I made for the door.
"Wait, wait!" Marcus jumped up and grabbed my shoulder. "I swear I'll stop laughing. Come on, sit down."
"Fuck off."
"I'm serious!" He held up his hands in surrender, though his mouth still twitched. "Look, I'm done. Okay? Promise."
He grabbed a bag of chips from his desk and tossed it to me, then gestured to the bed. "Sit. Finish your beer. Tell me what happened."
I caught the chips but stayed standing. "There's nothing to tell. I fucked up. End of story."
"Clearly there's more than that if you're standing in my room looking like your dog died." Marcus cracked open his own beer. "Come on, man. When have I ever judged you for anything?"
"You were literally just laughing at me."
"That was shock, alright? Not judgment. Big difference between the two." He took a long drink. "Now talk before I change my mind about being a supportive friend."
Knock Knock Knock. Martin walked over to his bedroom door to see who it was.
His sister Clarissa glared at him, then she said “Mom said to ask if your friend is staying for dinner.”
“No, thank you. I won’t be here long actually—" I started
Marcus cut me off, saying, “Yeah, he’s definitely staying for dinner. We have a lot to talk about. Hell, he might be here all night.”
Clarissa glared at me, her dark smoky eyes narrowed, then she turned abruptly and walked away.
Marcus shook his head and said, “About the goth thing… she’s just going through a phase.”
He shut his door, meanwhile I just dropped onto the edge of his bed with a heavy sigh.
"I don't know what the hell is wrong with me, man.” I started, the words coming slowly at first. "But she's fucking hot, bro. And I’m not saying the obvious try-hard way like Allison or those other girls, it's different with Lena."
"Different how?"
"She's—" I struggled to find the right words. "She's sweet. Like, genuinely sweet, not fake-nice or trying to impress anyone or shit like that. She handles Martin's meltdowns better than my own mother does, and you know how much I love my brother.”
Marcus raised an eyebrow, “Word?”
"And she's dealing with all this heavy stuff in her life; her dad died, her family's drowning in debt, she works a part-time job just to help keep them afloat… but she still shows up every day with her head up. It’s fucking amazing how she does it, I would’ve lost my shit.”
The image of her face came back to me. The way her nose crinkled when she was concentrating, how she bit her bottom lip when she was thinking... The soft, fragile sound she made when I kissed her.
"She's stubborn as hell," I continued, "Won't back down even when she probably should. She called me out on my bullshit the first week she started tutoring.”
"And you liked that?" Marcus frowned.
"I fucking loved it. Nobody talks to me like that. Everyone's always kissing my ass or scared of pissing me off." I took a drink. "But Lena? She looked me dead in the eye and told me to get my head out of my ass, and it was fucking hot.”
Marcus was staring at me now, chips forgotten.
"And when she smiles… like really smiles at you, not that stiff polite face she makes for everyone else, it's like the whole room gets brighter. I swear, watching her… It’s like being high.” I rubbed my face in frustration.
“Her eyes light up and her hands move around and she gets this little crease between her eyebrows…”
"Okay, okay." Marcus held up a hand. "I believe you."
"Believe what?"
"That you're in love with her." He shook his head slowly. "For a second there I thought you were fucking with me, but you're dead serious."
"I told you I was serious."
"Yeah, but saying it and meaning it are two different things." Marcus leaned forward. "I don't get it though. I thought you hated her? Didn’t you use to make fun of her along with Alison, there was also that other time you brought her over to Alison to get pranked and the other time when you…”
"Shut the fuck up. That was a long time ago.” I could barely admit it without being bitter. "I used to hate her, or… I don’t know… maybe I was just trying to convince myself I did because admitting that I wanted her felt—" I stopped.
"Felt what?"
"Dangerous. Complicated. Wrong." I drained the rest of my beer. "She's not supposed to be my type. She's not popular, she's not part of our crowd, she's—"
"Not Allison," Marcus finished.
"Yeah."
We sat in silence for a moment.
"So what's the problem then?" Marcus asked finally. "If you're so into her, what's stopping you?"
"She's fucking ruined me, man. I can’t even get it up for anyone else. I tried to forget about her. I went to that party, had girls practically throwing themselves at me, and I just… nothing. All I could think about was her."
Marcus's eyebrows shot up. "Damn."
"And now I've said some shit I shouldn't have said, destroyed whatever chance I had, and she's run off with that bastard Noah."
At the mention of Noah's name, Marcus's expression shifted. Girls were one thing, but football was sacred territory to him.
"Never liked that guy," Marcus said, his voice turning serious. "No offence."
"Don't worry about it. I don't fucking like him either." I felt ugly jealousy burn hot in my chest. "He needs to go, man. He shows up out of nowhere acting like he owns the place, charming everyone, playing the perfect cousin—"
"—he’s stealing your spot on the team—"
"—getting in Lena's head with his bullshit—"
"He's way too fucking slick," Marcus cut in. "Nobody's that nice. Nobody. It's fake as hell and everyone's eating it up like he's the second coming of Christ."
"Exactly! That’s what I was saying…”
"And if you're not careful, he's going to take that captain spot right from under you." Marcus pointed his beer at me. "Along with your girl."
The words hit like a gut punch because they were true. Noah was already working his way into every part of my life. Soon he would work his magic on the team and then they would love him.
Coach was clearly already impressed if he let him join just like that. Not to mention my own mother thought he was God’s gift to planet earth.
And Lena… fuck, Lena looked at him like he hung the goddamn moon.
"What the fuck am I supposed to do about it?" I asked desperately, my fingers tightening into fists.
Marcus was quiet for a long moment, chewing thoughtfully on a chip.
Then: "Fuck someone else."
I blinked. "What?"
"You heard me." Marcus shrugged. "All this sappy lovey-dovey shit doesn't sound like the Jace I know. What happened to having a new girl every weekend? You barely even come to parties anymore. Just mope around pining over some girl who clearly doesn't like you enough to stick around."
The words stung more than I wanted to admit.
I looked out the window where that blonde girl had disappeared into the night. "Want to tell that to whoever just ran out of here? How come she doesn’t like you enough to stick around?”
"Touché." Marcus grinned slightly. "But I have an idea. To get back both our girls."
"What?" I turned to face him fully. "I'm desperate, man. I'll do anything at this point."
"I already told you. Fuck someone else."
"That's not.??"
"Hear me out." Marcus held up a hand. "You're Jace Dawson. Captain of the football team. Rich, popular, good with the ladies. You can have anyone you want. If you want to get Lena back, you've got to make her see that, you’ve got to show her what she’s missing.”
I stared at him. "You're saying I should make her jealous."
"Look at you, figuring shit out all on your own." Marcus's grin widened. "I'm so proud."
My mind was already racing through the possibilities. It was petty, and manipulative. Exactly the kind of thing that had gotten me into this mess in the first place.
But it might actually work.
"Fuck it." I pulled out my phone. "I'd better call Allison then."
"Now you're talking." Marcus raised his beer in salute. "Welcome back to the land of the living, Dawson.”
He paused, then his face went pale “Wait, did you just say Alison?”
“Yeah, bet.” I found her name in my contacts, my thumb hovering over the call button.
One text was already waiting for me from her: We need to talk. Tomorrow after school. I miss you.
Perfect timing.
"This is either going to fix everything—" I hit call and lifted the phone to my ear.
"—or blow up in your face spectacularly," Marcus finished.
The phone barely even rang before Alison answered it, her voice sounded surprised and slightly breathless: "Jay Jay?"
"Hey, Alison." I kept my voice casual, even as my heart hammered. "Yeah, we definitely need to talk. How do you feel about helping me with a little problem?"
Marcus was shaking his head, but he was grinning.
This was either the best idea I'd ever had, or the worst.
But at this point, what the fuck did I have to lose?