Chapter 152 Chapter One Hundred And Fifty Two
I laughed bitterly, “ You have never been invisible. You have never spent years being the punching bag, the joke, the ugly fat girl who everyone could point and laugh at just because she wouldn't fight back.”
“But…”
“Sure Allison may have called you a few names, but you couldn’t possibly know what it’s like to drown. To literally reach rock bottom and wish so desperately that you never come up for air, because at least then you wouldn’t have to suffer anymore. So just... don’t. I can’t take all this constant criticism right now, not from you.”
There was a minute of tense silence after that. Me holding back tears and hoping no one overheard that confession, and Nicole was staring glumly at the scrubbing brush in her hand.
I felt so pathetic, so incredibly stupid. “I just want to go home,” I whispered.
I looked down in surprise to see that Nicole had softly taken my hand in hers.
"You know… you did really good this morning," Nicole said, her voice warm with genuine pride.
"You handled yourself with grace and maturity, and I was, I still am, really proud of you. I'm not even mad about the food thing. I love chocolate. I don't mind a little bit of it on my clothes."
She squeezed my shoulders. "It's you I'm worried about, Lena. Noah and Jake and I have already done all we can. The rest is up to you."
I let out a long, shaky breath. My hands were trembling uncontrollably, but it wasn’t too bad. Eventually, I knew I would get over it.
"You weren't there when she..." I swallowed hard. "Allison is such a... sometimes I have nightmares about her. I know it's pathetic but...”
Nicole's expression faded slowly from frustrated to concerned.
"All the things she's done to me over the years. All the things she's said about me." The words just kept tumbling out of me. Now that I could finally find them, I couldn’t hold them back, nor could I stop talking.
"I want to be angry. I do. But I can't help being terrified too. There's just so much at stake; my scholarship, my future, everything. But I want to be better, and smarter and stronger and more confident and more like you but… I don't know if I can do this. I just feel so alone sometimes."
Alone in a crowd of people, alone even when my perfect boyfriend Noah was holding my hand, alone with the weight of expectations that I could never hope to carry by myself.
"Well, you're not alone anymore," Nicole said firmly. "You have friends to help you now. Remember? Friends who wash the blood out of your hair and get in detention with you and throw cake baseballs for you."
She smiled, and it was so real and happy that it made my chest ache. "We love you, Lena. So for the love of God, act like it."
I nodded, laughing a little at how ridiculous all of this was, “I’m sorry. I mean I’m not… I mean I’m—”
“Oh come here, you big baby.”
We both dropped our sponges at the same time and threw our arms around each other, hugging fiercely in the middle of the destroyed cafeteria.
Nicole smelled like chocolate and cleaning solution and friendship, and I held on tight, letting a few tears slip free.
I have friends. Real friends. People who actually care about me.
When did that happen?
Did you send them, Dad? Was this you?
"Alright."
We pulled apart quickly, both of us looking up to find Mr. Reeves watching us. He looked touched, smiling warmly at us both and nodding approvingly.
"I think you both have done what you can," he said, checking his watch. "It's getting late, and your parents may start to get worried. So you have my permission to go on home for today."
"That's not fair!" Allison whined. Madison echoed her too, saying "What about us?"
"They've both filled up four trash cans since they got here," Mr. Reeves said calmly, not even looking at her. "Yet you've barely left that spot."
"But—"
But Nicole and I didn't stay to hear the rest of their conversation.
We grabbed our bags, took each other's hands, and walked out of the cafeteria together, our footsteps echoing in the empty hallway.
The late afternoon sun streamed through the windows, painting everything gold.
Outside, I could hear the distant sounds of the parking lot; cars pulling out of the driveway, a few remaining students chatting and walking out the gates. Just another regular school day coming to an end, despite the craziness of the it all.
Soon it would be time to worry. Time to face my mom's disappointed questions, time to figure out how to survive tomorrow, and the day after that, and the rest of senior year with a target on my back even bigger than ever before.
Those ominous thoughts lingered in the back of my mind, but I pushed them away, refusing to ruin the moment.
Because right now, I was with Nicole. My friend. Someone who cared about me enough to call me out when I was being a coward, and loved me enough to hold me together when I was falling apart.
My friends loved me.
And somehow, in this moment, life couldn't be better.
Even if I had no idea how much worse it was about to get.
Authors Note: Hey guys, I uploaded many chapters during the weekend, but I guess none of them showed up on the app due to a weird glitch? Anyway, it's been fixed now, so things should be back to normal. Hope you're not too mad at me, lol. More chapters coming tomorrow.
See you guys then. ❤️